Poor soul having to manage his own childcare...

I get what the OP is witnessing.

I think you are being mean spirited OP unless he was inflexible and unkind to single parents previously. Maybe he never had to think of childcare before because his partner willingly did it or willingly organised it. We all talk about things we experience for the first time. Didn't you ever hear a group of new mums going on about how much laundry they have to do, or a young adult moving out for the first time gobsmacked at the price of groceries. They've heard others mention these things a million times but don't think of or talk of it until they experience it themselves. We've all done the same.

Go out into the street, throw a handful of gravel and you will hit one, maybe two, who ISNT crap.

I wonder if it will change his attitude when his staff say "no because childcare" compared to before? Hopefully he'll give the same consideration to them, that he is now expecting for himself.
When I was pregnant and struggling I asked to work from home a day a week, my child free boss said no. Then when I came back from mat leave she got pregnant, struggled, and started working from home herself. She actually said sorry to me for not letting me wfh which I thought was good of her.
So if your boss can learn from his experience it's a good thing.

Who are you responding to? No-one's mentioned earnings before you brought it up. It's to do with parenting.

If he is 'going for' 50-50, and his life is changing drastically, then that suggests he wasn't doing 50-50 beforehand.

Hope that makes sense.

Agree! I work 2 days (and do zero child care on those days as they're long days) and my husband is full time (mostly wfh till 6pm but he still helps a lot though I do most of the school runs). Massive changes would be needed if we went 50:50 in separate houses.

That's really nice. Similar circumstances here, only I did end up getting a job for a few years then having to leave it because he didn't step up. Now he thinks he doesn't have to do anything at all and when I asked him to do half of one minor chore at the weekend, he shouted at me to "get a job". So I've taken that to mean I can widen my search to more than part time, remote work. I'll get a job, and then things are going to change around here. I've started a list of all the duties that have always fallen to me, excluding housework and logistics for now, which already has over 30 weekly/monthly responsibilities, so he'll easily be able to choose which half of them he picks up.

Jeez, the cool girl replies on here 🙄 Get your drift OP

Yeah this was my first thought.

When men say they want 50/50 its because they think its easy (well it must be if his wife can do it, right?!) and then they do it and realise just how much of life was facilitated by the the magic housework fairy, the magic cleaning fairy, the magic child care fairy....and so on. As you say, if he had really done 50/50 to start with he may not be going through a separation at all!

Its no coincidence that soooo many men want 50/50 (and lets be honest, usually to avoid CM) who then decide that paying his ex CM and letting her bear the brunt is preferable to actually stepping up themselves. They suddenly find that oh....they dont mind seeing the kids EOW after all!

Yes. This is excellent

His former wife is probably in her element now! She will be rediscovering her social life and picking up hobbies, I bet you. I

What a horrible assumption.
I've personally known two people where a child custody battle has been to their demise because of lies and vindictive revenge of the mother.
Bravo for him wanting to maintain a 50% role in his children's lives

And so? Whilst my children were small my dh earnt the household money and I was a SAHM. He did way less than 50:50 childcare/housework etc because that's what I was doing. But he loved his kids and had we separated he'd have done50:50 and both our lives would have changed.

I think you do understand the point……

lol, I know exactly what you mean op. I remember when exdh and I divorced, he was due to have them on a Wednesday. First weds came and I can recall our convo which was much fun for me ‘So, I’ll pick them up at 7 on my way home from work.’ ‘Fraid not sunshine, school finishes at 3.20pm and I’m going out for the day’ ‘but I can’t’ ‘not my problem’

Sorry but you've clearly only ever encountered crap men.

Yes exactly! Such a ridiculous post op

Well no, there are several things that I wouldn’t be able to do without my husband around. Many days one of us will do drop off and the other pick up. If we split up, on my days with the children I would have to do both the drop offs and picks ups, which would mean changes to my work. Same for my husband.

Of course you know every single dad that’s split up with their partner and their intentions 🙄

Men ask for 50/50 to get out of paying child support. They never actually take 50% of the responsibility.

Absolutely there should be equal downtime and equal spending money, but sometimes that means it can't be 50/50 child care. Sometimes it means one parent has to do the bulk of it or you outsource it. What is important is you are both a team and work together as such in whatever form that takes. When there is only 1 of you then you have to find something else that works, for the parent the OP refers to its childcare, for the other parent it could be nothing different, they get extra downtime which comes with 50/50 or it could mean they now have to find some extra finance from somewhere, and childcare for the 50% of the time they are with the child

This is the point, isn’t it?

He is unable to do elements of his job that he did before whilst doing 50:50 childcare. Which means he clearly wasn’t doing 50% if the care for his children before, in the marriage.

Which means his former partner, possibly also whilst working or wanting to work, was doing more than 50%. So massively more encumbered than he is now.

If he was an equal parent before he still would have had to make adjustments to his childcare now he’s a single parent.

DH would probably have wanted 50;50 to spend time with DC not to avoid maintenance.

DH is also very keen to promote the possibility of being in senior roles and work part-time now he is in charge of his workplace, a thing that was previously pretty much unheard of. This applies to both genders.