To want a month or so off parenting?

I believe there’s two very different experiences as a mother. One where you have unlimited support (from adoring retired grandparents in my case). And one where you don’t have any. I’ve experienced both, and the two experiences are worlds apart.

The void never asks for snacks or which spoon it should use to dish up yogurt. Lovely void 🕳️

My parents used to leave me with before and after school care during the week because they worked full time. Then my nan and granddad would pick me up from school on Friday and return me home on Sunday. I'd also stay at my grandparents' every school holiday. My parents did minimal parenting.

I loved going away on a yearly field trip for five days - DH coped perfectly well at home, and it was wonderful being able to just get myself up in the morning even if I was dealing with 30 plus students abroad!

Read the books. "It's mummy's quiet time now darling, go and play". It's allowed. Teach them that you matter too. It doesn't do them any harm to learn to entertain themselves a bit sometimes. The happiest mothers I know are the ones who can be a bit "selfish" here and there. You are also a person; it's good for them to understand that. After a while you might even move on to "if you wake up before me, play quietly and don't wake me up". Some of your friends will think this is child abuse, probably. But it really isn't. They don't have to be given the message that women are just machines who exist to serve everyone else at all times. Consideration for others and self-reliance can be taught. Start small, but start them young.

YANBU

I had 5 whole days to myself while DH took the kids to his parents so i could recover from surgery. Totally worth it.

PILs are taking DS away for 4 days in August. Yes, DH and I will have to work but we're looking forward to spontaneously going to the pub or for walks.

Life isn't fair.

I'm a single mum, not had one break. It is what it is.

I don't know any parent who wouldn't want time off parenting.

I am going away for work for 6 days and I soooo excited. I will be able to sleep and not cook or clean!

Op does Dad have no contact with DC? Is there any single parents groups near you, perhaps where. You could swap childcare? Not for a month lol but just to give you a few spare hours?

My personal fantasy is a tiny bachelor flat with nothing in it, and only I have the key. Two plates and two cups from Ikea. One lovely daybed and a nice end table for my book. You get the picture. No accumulated stuff and no one creating any messes, ever.

Yes! With a deadbeat dad who is not involved in their lives and refuses to contribute financially I’ve raised four kids for 21 years.

I’m exhausted.

When I’m not cooking, washing and cleaning I’m mentally engaged in planning meals, lifts, appointments.
Dealing with hormonal teenagers and trying to be there for them and their stress.
A week off would be amazing, a
whole month…..incredible.

DH got me 2 nights in a spa alone for my birthday. I spent an entire, glorious weekend being completely self indulgent and it was amazing!! I don't think I'd want any longer than that away though. They are hard work but I did miss their little faces.

@BoyMum8483922i was one of the lucky ones like your friend. My parents used to take my two children along with there other two grandchildren every single Friday night for YEARS. Sometimes a night through the week aswell. It saved my sanity so much. And I realise how lucky I was to have this

Oh yes, DH is fine but I fantasise divorce a lot so I could hand over DS and have a weekend to myself. What bliss.

There was a moment when we both confessed we were fantasising about splitting up so we could have every other weekend off from the children.

When mine were small & I was in the thick of it, I used to fantasise about a lovely hotel room with a big deep bubble bath, room service, crisp white sheets, a book and hours of uninterrupted sleep! A weekend would have been enough though, I could never do a month away from my kids!

I would rather have a day a month to myself for the next 2.5 years than 30 days in one go. The relentlessness and lack of breaks is what makes parenting so difficult for me.

I became a mum at 16, so I don’t even know an adult life before kids. I had 3 DC, my youngest is 18 now and I am almost 50. So now I can start to do more of what I like. The school run is over (from tomorrow), and my DD can fend for herself and my boys have moved out.

It’s been a long time coming, but i’m moving onto the next chapter now. Only you look forward to all these lie in’s you’re going to have when kids grow up, and then menopause hits and you’re back to the sleeping pattern of a new mum!

A month would be way too long. A weekend would be nice , haha.

But you got the evenings to yourself. Working full-time was easier without dcs than with (not to mention alittle older too).

100%

I wfh, alone, and some days I clear the diary and just sit there in silence staring into the void.