To want a month or so off parenting?

My daughter & SIL are expecting their first baby and I was worried that I might seem too 'grabby' to ask for lovely long nanny stays (not at first of course, but the idea seems quite achievable after reading these answers )

Yes it is relentless! I went from working for 20 years only needing to cater to myself, to wife and mother in a year. I did return to work but that became impracticable after my second (I earned less than daycare cost and my DH had a high salary). So I gave up working imagining lovely walks to the park and the playground, fun activities at home, and two well behaved munchkins. Well. Sure some of that came true, but more often it was a relentless repeat of cooking, cleaning, entertaining, cleaning, cooking, cleaning…and we had a cleaner! Kids settled happily watching CBBees and you think ‘ah time for a cup of tea…’. Nah. Mum this mum that. I just didn’t realise how all encompassing it was and that my identity would become X’s mum rather than me. Plus my teen stepson lived with us full time bringing all that angst. Plus my DH travelled a lot for work and was away 100 nights a year! Sadly he passed away when both were still in primary so it bagaje harder still.
So sure, back in the thick of it maybe not a month but a week? Yea for sure.
To reassure you though, my kids are now 21 and 22. Younger at uni doing great things and my oldest is visiting and is now cleaning the back patio…and I’m sitting here with that longed for cup of tea!

At my work you get your birthday off. That's my day, cafes/shopping/spa/massage/books. For work hours, I do whatever I like all on my own. It's bliss.

But I'm lucky, I also do a couple of girls nights away each year and get regular time to myself each week (an hour or two).

Ooh yes! One of mine is a pretty little country cottage where I can potter in a little vegetable garden, eat cheese on toast or just bread and cheese and peaches and lie in a hammock! No big meals to cook, no clearing up other people's mess and silence apart from the birdsong!

I find even with breaks as they get older, you never stop worrying about them. Mine are primary school ages so past the demanding toddler days, and a lot less hands on now. However I cannot switch off the way I used to.

Same but now mine are teens I wouldn’t mind but they still want me with them so I don’t think I could actually go away for a night without feeling guilty or like I was letting them down. I feel it won’t be like this forever so enjoy it while it lasts. When they are little or still waking at night, you’re really in the trenches.

Just a day would be nice! I day dream of a hotel room and room service, cooked and cleaned for then a nice uninterrupted sleep to top it off.

How superior of you. Also, I fucking LOVE spending time with my children. What I need is a break from:

• every single nightly 3am and 6am wake ups
• getting my 1 year old dressed
• dealing with the 3 tantrums on the way to nursery

• endless fucking cooking, wiping, cleaning, tidying, laundry
• convincing my 5 year old to go to sleep
• food shopping
• the million calls from nursery to pick up child so I have to drop everything at work and run to get him because he has a 0.1 degree fever

This is what i could think of in 30 seconds. There is more

My parents take my children twice a year for 5 days to help us with holiday childcare. Its nice to have a reset period every now and again. Esp after weeks Like i have had this week of averaging 4 hours sleep a night between sick child then sick me whilst also working all day.

Go on a girly long weekend. It's a great thing!

Each to their own. I wouldn’t have wanted this sort of arrangement at all, but I’m coming to realise that I have been unusual in being ok with spending time with my children

My DH worked shifts. When he did nights when the kids were small I told him that if he was having an affair I would be broken hearted but he was booking into a hotel and having sleep I would kill him. 😂

Exactly, except my young dcs don't have any grandparents at all, it is so sad.

I would like twenty four hours occasionally where I don’t have to do anything for anyone else. A time when I don’t have to put a meal on the table or put anyone to bed or worry that spending time online just for me isn’t selfish. I would also like not to clean and tidy for that short time but come back with everything exactly as I left it - clean and tidy.

This only works after a certain age though. Can't really say this to my 1 year old.

This is where I'm at now, my DH can offer to take the kids for a few hours but I feel so burnt out that a few hours aren't going to help me feel better.

We've got one lot of grandparents too far away and another that can't be bothered to spend time (as in just time with us, not even looking after the grandchildren) with us regularly. I'm usually more stoic and less bitter about this but right now I think parents with grandparent support don't know they're born as the old saying goes.

Love this!!!

Sigh, I would love this. And I would take the whole month even though I would miss my kids so much. Because it feels like for ten years (two with age gap, so been in the young kids stage a while!) I've been trying to catch my breath and finish a thought, and if I could just have a month to process and catch up with myself I would be such a better mother afterwards.

I had 36 hours walking the Thames path and a night in a B&B when ds was 3. I remember every minute. Kept me going for a very long time.

I go away frequently for work. Kids are 4 and 6. It’s bliss when I’m away, no bed time, watching telly I want to watch, get up and have hotel breakfast

Me too. I used to fantasise about an enforced stay in hospital - for a non dangerous reason - just not to be 'on' 24/7.

These days I look forward to my annual work trip. Yes it is knackering and involves a 12 hour flight. But when I get there, to the lovely quiet hotel room, outside working hours no one demands anything of me. Bliss.

This year I am taking the new Rivals series with me. Finish work. Hotel - bubble bath and Rivals. Heaven.

This is what I ask for whenever my DP asks what I want for Xmas or bday, he thinks I’m joking 🙁

oh absolutely

not my life before but a week ALONE in a nice spa hotel

after a week I would miss the cat

I'm mid forties and very happy to say my life has been lie-ins and doing mostly what I want for a few years now. I had 6 children in my teens and 20s and they've been grown for a while.

I might not have material things that others have due to choices but I am freeeeee for weekends away, long baths, spontaneous outings and I can do my hobbies when I want.