AIBU - Men should not be allowed to adopt or foster children unless they're with a woman. Safeguarding first.

Okay so we should take children away at birth from every woman just in case and have them raised by AI bots then, given that either parent could potentially be a big risk to their child.

I'm not sure if you meant to quote me, but I'm pointing out the ridiculousness of the op's idea that women are angels and men are devils when it comes to the care of children. I know far too well that woman can and do harm children.

Why do you lock your door if you trust your husband to be in your house? Surely if you teust him enough to be in your home you should trust all men?

Stupid argument right?

Not all men are sex offenders or violent. But 98% of sexual crimes are committed by men.

You can find a decent man and have a child with him and still understand that the general population of men are a significantly higher danger to women and children than women.

If men are not proportionally more dangerous than women why are 96% of prisoners men?

Why are 80% to 90% of domestic violence incidents perpetrated by men.

You cannot argue with the statistics that men in general pose more of a threat and you know they do. Its the reason women are scared in taxis. Why the don't go running at dusk with headphones on. Why they get friendsbto watch their drinks whilst they go to the toilet.

Children in the care system are already vunerable to abuse (look at the grooming gang statistics for example) choosing to put them in a male centered home to tick some rainbow boxes is wrong.

When my mother split with my bio father she started a relationship with someone. That was 50 years ago and I was very young.

That man adopted me and has been my father since then and the main difference between him and bio father is that he has never beaten the shit out of my mother.

So kindly piss off with your hyperbole and generalisations. Men are a risk but there are plenty of cases of women neglecting, beating and killing their own children. So just because women are less likely to abuse than men, doesn’t make them safe in any way.

Arguably single women are the most risky adoptions as they are likely to introduce the child to a partner at some point and hetro male partners are the biggest risk to children by a long way.

This is the second lengthy AI written post on this topic I've seen in the last 24 hours. 'Safeguarding isn't prejudice - it's pattern recognition.' Classic AI. I'm just wondering why people are asking AI to write lengthy posts on this? Can't you just write what you think?

@Plimfoot but if you don't trust men, why do you allow them to care for children? Why would you reproduce with them knowing they could fight for custody if you separate?
Honestly the rhetoric in here is awful.

Rubbish. There’s loads of evil women out there who should never be allowed to adopt children. Myra Hindley, Rose West, Maxine Carr. Just because you’re a woman, it doesn’t mean you’re not capable of heinous crimes.

Sillyness like this just completely breaks down any credibility to your argument.

If you cannot cope with debate maybe stop posting here.

Men are important figures in children's lives. Its always preferable for a child to have a stable mother/father family dynamic. Of course that isn't always possible. Relationship breakdowns, death, abuse etc

But humans and most creatures are designed for a male and female to come together, reproduce and raise a child. A lot of the time in nature that burden is left to the mother.

Very rarely does the male of the species take full responsibility for a baby.

It's just nature and I don't see how that should ben offensive, to say the way that nature intended a child to be brought into this world is best.

Gay men shouldn't be able to rent a womb or adopt and foster. I just don't believe it.

I don't trust men. You cannot trust all women either but I GUARANTEE that if all you women saying 'but, but,but....' were in an emergency situation and there were 2 cars with only room for a child on a lap, one full of women, one full of men, every single one of you would pass your children to the women.

Quite frankly, for the OP and posters on here who know the 'truth' - I think it's disgusting that you or anyone you know could have children, and that with this safeguarding knowledge you have that you have messed around with a man and brought them into a world where they have a father. You've given a man access to a child! With knowing how dangerous they are. Awful.

Yes that’s a fair enough point. TBH I’m stopping short of forming a hard opinion myself on the original Op question. It seems a step too far for me, even though I’m very aware of male violence. But it’s depressing just how willing women are to be as misogynistic as men, in the face of all our knowledge.

I’d rather see a death penalty come back for clear cut cases of guilt in crimes that are beyond redemption, with a bloody high burden of proof to seek such a sentence. There’s a lot of people crowing about what will await these scum in prison. If that’s what we want then take some responsibility for it.

I absolutely accept that women are safer than men for children. What I also observe though is that women are often terrible at protecting their children from dangerous men. It's single mums with new partners that seem to me to be the most dangerous household for children. Even in nice middle class Mumsnet there are multiple threads from women about how to get their children to stop hating the strange man she's forcing them to live with.

So if we're going to start legislating against certain types of family set ups I'd argue children living with step dads is where to start. Purely by the numbers that will save far more children from abuse. It's the presence of men that's the danger factor not the lack of a woman. So banning gay male couples makes no sense to me unless we're also banning straight couples.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1CazHKFfDf/

A lot of your kids here would be lucky to have this man as a father instead of the guy you gave them that ultimately made you hate men

So if a heterosexual couple adopt a baby and then the mother dies three years later, should the baby be put back in the foster care system or stay with their adoptive father?

Or at least are unwilling or unable to prioritise the safety and wellbeing of their child(ren) over keeping their partner.

We dont have to look to Myra Hindley to prove women murder kids too.

I think so going by the responses of people who feel this way. I think she woukdnt be allowed in the unsupervised company of her father.

It’s really embarrassing that women cannot accept that men are more dangerous.

We all know they are.

But ‘women do the same’ and ‘Myra hindley’ overrule known human history. What absolute rubbish.

Interesting because whilst anecdotal I was safe with my dad who never so much as shouted at me but at home with my mum and her boyfriend, forget it. He beat me and it transpired also her, he hid that well and I had no idea till she told me last year. Anyway she never protected me so living with a woman didn’t make me safe.

There have been many more threads historically here about posters sharing how they've been totally messed up by their mother in their childhood and how it is seriously affecting their lives as an adult than posts about SA from their father.

Women are not exempt from abusing their children. It's different and more prolonged, psychological and emotional, but the damage can be very significant too.

I can't help but wonder how many of these abusive mothers hated men too!

It does not make you sound unhinged in my opinion. I would not have sent either of mine to a nursery employing male childcare staff. DH feels very strongly about this issue, and it is indeed very different from primary teaching or Cubs etc when we are dealing with children who cannot speak and who are having nappies changed.

https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/news/crisis-in-foster-care-continues-as-new-figures-show-major-shortfall-in-carers/

Now, a shortage in carers is no reason to skip safeguarding checks/relax standards. But it is madness to say only lesbian's, or only women not in relationships with men can foster/adopt. Or even only lesbian/heterosexual couples can adopt. Because there is a shortage of people willing/able to foster/adopt already. There isnt a huge waiting list of man avoidant lesbians who.could look after the thousands of children needing care safely and away from males.

"To The Lesbians" is not a viable plan.

Is foster care statistically safer than adoption by men?

Where would all those children go?

To the lesbians or foster care. Both statistically safer than being with two unrelated men.

Surely gay men are being used as tools to place children in care?
Up to 25% of adopted children go to same sex couples, because same sex couple are more likely to put themselves forward.
Where would all those children go?