AIBU to feel sidelined when husband hosted friend during baby’s witching hour?

This!
You honestly sound like you sat upstairs waiting to be shown some attention - which you didn't get. Your husband probably should have called you/popped up to see if you were ok, but he didn't. You sat up there playing the princess for no reason whatsoever. Sounds like there's more than one baby in the house. Sorry.

You sound like a martyr, there’s really no reason you couldn’t have had dinner. You choose to lock yourself in your room to make a point.
You know he made dinner, you know he laid the table and then you went upstairs and never resurfaced.
Its weird your DH didn’t just call you down but there’s really no need for your weird behaviour either.
Babies are perfectly able to have someone else in the house on a rare occasion after 5pm.
‘I settled the baby and stayed in the bedroom with baby in the cot, then when his friend was due to leave I got up and said bye to the friend.’
Why did you just stay upstairs even beyond settling the baby?
You just sat there next to a baby sleeping in the cot getting angrier about how hungry you were when you could have just gone downstairs?

You sound like a martyr, there’s really no reason you couldn’t have had dinner. You choose to lock yourself in your room to make a point.
You know he made dinner, you know he laid the table and then you went upstairs and never resurfaced.
Its weird your DH didn’t just call you down but there’s really no need for your weird behaviour either.
Babies are perfectly able to have someone else in the house on a rare occasion after 5pm.
‘I settled the baby and stayed in the bedroom with baby in the cot, then when his friend was due to leave I got up and said bye to the friend.’
Why did you just stay upstairs even beyond settling the baby?
You just sat there next to a baby sleeping in the cot getting angrier about how hungry you were when you could have just gone downstairs?

I wanted opinions on this scenario last night. I am a FTM to a 13 week old boy, my husband has really disappointed me post natally with various things and I am trying to get opinions on certain things that are now happening if IABU or if it just to be expected. Essentially, I am going through the process of wondering if I would be better off divorcing and being single.

Last night he invited a friend over, he set the table and made dinner. He has never done this for me in the whole post natal period. Friend comes over at the height of witching over (5pm) - baby crying, needing fed, over stimulated etc. The friend insisted on getting a pic with baby then I was left to it. I went into the bedroom the whole evening whilst they sat in the living room drinking beer and having dinner. I could not come to dinner as I was busy with baby - they did not even make a plate up and bring it to me. I had a couple of oat cakes. I settled the baby and stayed in the bedroom with baby in the cot, then when his friend was due to leave I got up and said bye to the friend.

My husband sleeps in a seperate room now so I got the baby down at 9pm and then did not see him until 7-8am this morning.

I was starving and woke up this morning after doing a couple of nightfeeds thinking I am being royally taken the piss out of, but wanted opinions. AIBU to think this is a weird dynamic?

The baby should fit in with you, not the other way around. You have made a mountain out of a molehill. I imagine you were sat on the bed next to the sleeping baby and working yourself up , getting angry. You had a baby, the world isn't going to stop for you. You have made this situation bigger than it need be...

I wanted opinions on this scenario last night. I am a FTM to a 13 week old boy, my husband has really disappointed me post natally with various things and I am trying to get opinions on certain things that are now happening if IABU or if it just to be expected. Essentially, I am going through the process of wondering if I would be better off divorcing and being single.

Last night he invited a friend over, he set the table and made dinner. He has never done this for me in the whole post natal period. Friend comes over at the height of witching over (5pm) - baby crying, needing fed, over stimulated etc. The friend insisted on getting a pic with baby then I was left to it. I went into the bedroom the whole evening whilst they sat in the living room drinking beer and having dinner. I could not come to dinner as I was busy with baby - they did not even make a plate up and bring it to me. I had a couple of oat cakes. I settled the baby and stayed in the bedroom with baby in the cot, then when his friend was due to leave I got up and said bye to the friend.

My husband sleeps in a seperate room now so I got the baby down at 9pm and then did not see him until 7-8am this morning.

I was starving and woke up this morning after doing a couple of nightfeeds thinking I am being royally taken the piss out of, but wanted opinions. AIBU to think this is a weird dynamic?

I ended up going in for reduced fetal movement and he didnt come with me as he was working the next day, first scan he was on a golf trip and said ‘did he really need to be there’. I was sick on the carpeted floor and he asked me to make sure I make the toilet next time as it stained the carpet. Typing this out I am so so sad.

I'm sorry I know I'm going to get flamed for this but what I read when I saw your initial story was that he doesn't want to share a bed with his woman, hasn't cooked a meal for his woman but will not only sort out a meal for his 'man friend' but will also lay a table out with cutlery and stress about him wearing clothes that his good 'friend' has bought. Are you sure your husband is not gay? I just don't know many men that would make such an effort with other guys! Yes, order a takeaway, yes, go away with them but there are a few things you've said that make me question this!

I ended up going in for reduced fetal movement and he didnt come with me as he was working the next day, first scan he was on a golf trip and said ‘did he really need to be there’. I was sick on the carpeted floor and he asked me to make sure I make the toilet next time as it stained the carpet. Typing this out I am so so sad.

again I don’t see the issue, he’s allowed friends over and he did the work.

I also assume your on maternity and he’s working, so that’s why much falls to you right now, you can go back to work and split it equally if you feel better about it. But generally the person at home does the majority especially if co sleeping or breastfeeding.

its concerning that it’s only 13 weeks. Yoire considering divorce, pissed he’d a mate over, and have already read him the riot act multiple times, so a chaotic household for an infant.

if it doesn’t work, go back to work, stop co sleeping, stop breastfeeding. you don’t need to take a year off. It is better for your child not to have an exhausted mother, and a resentful one where even friends are a war zone and repeated arguments at home,

I ended up going in for reduced fetal movement and he didnt come with me as he was working the next day, first scan he was on a golf trip and said ‘did he really need to be there’. I was sick on the carpeted floor and he asked me to make sure I make the toilet next time as it stained the carpet. Typing this out I am so so sad.

The amount of people offering suggestions such as sitting him down and explaining what he needs to do and making him lists etc is really quite disheartening. We should not need to do this! If my husband dies before me I really can't see myself getting involved with another man, it's just so much work. The good ones are few and far between it seems.