DH cooking but getting distracted by gaming

Before I form an opinion I’d like to know whether he clears up after you have been cooking , and how messy you are as a cook.

DH was very keen on cooking but it was always a performance and often the food didn’t emerge until gone 10pm. And left the kitchen as a bomb site.

We agreed that whoever cooked would clear up. And I made sure to have made myself something simple but sustaining (and cleared it all away too, naturally) before he started.

I understand you clear up so that you actually have a functioning kitchen again. And that you would rather he didn’t. Really hope you can have a sensible conversation with him about the clearing up so that you don’t routinely get left with that.

Then why didn’t he do it?

I never know what people want from these sorts of posts. He’s lazy and selfish. You seem to think it’s funny. You won’t do anything about it so what do you want anyone to say? He’s choosing to do a shit job, you know that, he knows that, we know that.

That would piss me off too. Roughly the same set up here too, but when my DH does cook he will use "components" like the M&S dine in meals, or something simple like pasta. Tell him you're fine with a simple meal (or dinner out!) but the cooking is his job every night until he manages an edible one, and then you'll take over again. Until the next month. 😂

Sorry I think there was a typo
Did you mean 15 year old son?

For some women, any man - no matter how useless or disengaged he may be with his relationship - is better than no man.

Sounds like strategic incompetence to me.

The threads on MN from OP's who are in relationships with gamers are generally horror stories. Invariably the OP and real life involvement come a poor second to the obsession with gaming. How OP's put up with if is mystery to me

I bet he can concentrate fiiine at his Big Important Job.
you know, the one he actually cares about 🙄

I was with you until you said you had cleaned up all the mess! Don't do that.

I'd be saying that's a bit dry for me and having a sandwich next time.

And stop "helping" him e.g. by warning him the potatoes would burn. All you're doing is preventing him from experiencing the consequences of his own actions. I bet you do that in other areas of his life too. You're not his mum and he is not a naughty school boy. Stop playing your role and he might stop playing his.

Why on earth did you clean it up?

@99bottlesofkombucha
That won’t happen. The op is another mumsnet martyr.

You don’t clean it!! You text saying: ‘I’m going out to breakfast I can’t believe you didn’t even cook an edible meal and left the kitchen a dump, I’m not cooking again until it’s clean, and you can try again on the weekend to cook for us because providing your wife with a home cooked meal I don’t have to cook once a month is a tiny tiny ask.’

I’m glad he’s not my husband.