"When a man falls in love with a woman, he sees her as a goddess"

I’m wondering if the reason all of those men/friends said that yes thry saw their partner as a goddess is because Thars what they think women want to hear? Or what they are supposed to say?

Or they have a very different definition of a goddess…..

I agree with this. My ex who had this pedestal/ worship attitude to me was misogynistic and controlling, and ended up harassing me after I eventually left him. He even said himself “I need you to be on a pedestal”. He was obsessed with moral purity and crazily jealous of my past. I see it as part of that. A facet of patriarchal misogyny.

Edited to add: I don’t mean PP’s DD’s boyfriend! He sounds like a sweet loved up teen. But I’d keep an eye on the dynamic and support your DD to recognise weirdness if it appears, which I am sure you do.

Yeah but how long before you fall off that pedestal?

What an odd op!

It is out of our hands. He actually very chilled but just adores her. Anything she suggests he is enthusiastic about even things that are obviously of no interest to a sporty lad.

That’s lovely and probably what I’d want for my own DD, but it’s not very healthy really is it?

Lol my DH definitely does not see me as a goddess nor do I him a god. That doesn’t seem a very healthy mentality to me. We are very much equals.

My father still worships my mother. She is 77 and they have been married for 50 years. It really is beautiful.

Another take on it, is that I think men are more black and white in their decisions about relationships- it’s either a yes or a no (for an fully emotional and physical relationship; just physical is a different matter!).
My ex-DH told me pretty much from the outset that it was very clear cut for him; a definite yes. My current partner has been very keen from the first week. And I’d had that experience with a previous boyfriend in my initial experiences of relationships. I’m more circumspect- I take my time to make up my mind.
I read somewhere recently (possibly in an obituary) a line that said ‘if a man doesn’t fall in love with you in the first two weeks of meeting, he won’t fall in love with you’. In my personal experience, there’s definitely a truth in that.

Hmm, I sort of can see this/have seen this, especially when men are younger. They do say that when men fall in love, they really fall and for life…I don’t know

DDs boyfriend is like this. So sweet. They are both 17. Think he would literally take a bullet for her if he had to.

😂😂😂🤣 yep

I don’t think it means that he thinks she’s an actual goddess. I’d take it more as willing and happy to go through the ups and downs of life together as a team. My DH thinks I’m a goddess even when I’m in my house coat with unwashed hair and mismatched socks.

I'm struggling to see this as anything other than yet another way of excusing poor behaviour from men. I certainly don't feel any sympathy for how 'horrid' it must be - especially for grown men. I think worshipping people in that way sounds childish, a bit like most people feel when they have a teenage crush.

Sounds really annoying. Having to feel sorry for men about it sounds even more annoying. Goddess, Madonna, Whore. We're just people like they are so they should just stop it.

As an atheist, I'm not sure how you'd worship anyone 🙂 (quietly hides the shrine I've built in the corner to 'the one who got away' . Wafts away the smell of incense) 🤣

This is why, at least in The West, many relationships fail. Unrealistic expectations of women wanting to be worshipped, treated like a Princess, bridezillas, told they are perfect and can do no wrong. Told they are Queens and should be fawned over and won. Waiting for the one, Mr Right and all that garbage. It’s embarrassing.

Reality is that women, just like men, are far from perfect and come with an array of attributes, positive and negative. A relationship is simply just a partnership where both parties get something out of the deal. Of course it can be very loving and intense but no need for all the Hollywood guff.

Like some others have said, the only men who have been like this with me, I've ended up having to call the police about one and be brutal with another.

I don’t think that’s true and I’m not sure I want to be a “goddess”. It’s all so smothering.

God I would hate to be on the receiving end of being worshipped! I would run several miles!! 🤯

At 62, I can hand on heart say I’ve never had this experience…love, yes, care, yes, worship??? Definitely not!

I have seen it though…and it’s utterly suffocating to be around!

As PP have said, the men who display this trait are indeed the weirdly creepy ones…I’d go so far as to say they have personality disorders. It’s not normal OP!

I have seen this and been on the receiving end of it. It’s actually not nice for the person being seen this way, they idealise a partner, put them on a huge pedestal, see them as something other than human and then when that human turns out to be imperfect and has actual needs/wants or has an occasional
off day, the other party becomes woefully disappointed that they didn’t live up to the false version of them that was created. Then they end up losing interest and scarpering.

I think the proof of the pudding is in how these men actually treat their partners. It's a bit like the "nice guy" who has convinced himself he's a prize when he's actually anything but.

I've only ever known one couple where the husband truly seemed to worship his wife. He ended up leaving her for someone else.

Yet they manage to get women to fall for it

If they think she's a goddess why do they invariably start treating her like shit about 2 years in when they think they've got her tied down, and then progressively start treating her as badly as she will let him get away with? Never seen a single example of any long term relationship I know of going any other way but this. They are in love for about 1-2 years.

I was a bit like this (female) when I fall in love/lust I tended to have blinkers on and fall hard and it’s only when things settle down I start to see a more realistic picture. It’s the same with friendships too. This has led to me being treated quite poorly as I would forgive poor treatment as they are so amazing they didn’t mean it/are worth it. I’ve become more aware of it as I’ve got older (plus I’m in a 20 year relationship!!)
I had the same problem with jobs, I would love a job give 120% and then end up burnt out and resentful.