Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

It's fascinating how so many men/husbands and male partners have such similar (annoying) habits. Chatting shit/talking too much seems to be quite common, and spending AGES in the loo, not stacking the dishwasher properly, yawning and sneezing very loudly, and following you around like a shadow when you're busy (whilst chatting shit at you!) all seem to be quite common! 😆

I literally thought I was the only person that gets the rage from this. My DH knows I hate him doing it but he feels so compelled to do it that I will catch him out of the corner of my eye shuffling across the kitchen. I have to yell “Don’t even think about it” and then he pretends he want going to do if. I’m going to tell him now there is a diagnosis for his affliction and it’s “SPOONY FUCKER”.

Yawns making a sound like Chewbacca.

Vomits making a sound like a squealing pig.

Puts new roll of toilet paper on top of the finished one.

Leaves shaving gel in and around ears so it dries looking like horrendous dandruff.

Unloads the dishwasher from the top, so anything still wet, wets the stuff underneath. Puts things that he knows cannot go in the dishwasher in the dishwasher.

I think the MN website would crash if I listed all the irritations

Having interrogated a former boyfriend about this I have the answer: hairy men retain a lot more water on their bodies. If they are therefore the kind of person who switches off the shower and instantly jumps out (instead of say, waiting a handful of moments for the water to drain off and then grabbing the towel and doing the bulk of the drying before you leave the shower tray) an extraordinary amount of water gets flung everywhere.

In my experience, people who do this have no idea there is another way.

Bog seat up.

Every. Single. Time.

We decide we'll take the dog for a walk - I say 'where?' or suggest x,y,z he will not decide till we are sat in the car where we are going. (it's a joint decision) but different things are needed - i.e. a towel if it's a beach walk, the long lead if there might be livestock, water if it's a dry walk.... so one of always ends up going back in to get the thing.

Just bloody agree before we leave the house...

Yet another one here with a windscreen wiper weirdo! Drives me nuts.
Why don't they understand the concept of switching it on just the once when it's raining saves time, effort and wear and tear on the switch. Bonkers!

my dp is amazing-hes never let me down,pulls his weight on everything and is an all round good egg

however,he drives me insane when he uses the same towel over and over again (i think i counted 5 weeks between washes-and trust me,im not a 'use it once and boil wash it')
he cleans out his waxy ears on the corners and when the corners run out,he starts on the seams and then dries between each toe
it drives me mad-i chuck it in the wash once a week as part of the once a week white wash and he acts shocked every time

he will use a toothbrush until it falls apart in his hand
i cannot count how many times i've messaged him to say 'your toothbrush is the red one now' and i get a shocked 'there's still life in the blue one!'
mate,it had no bristles left!

'thats how my mum does it'
i adore my mil,i honestly worship the ground she walks on but shes set in her ways and there are different ways of doing whatever it is

he seems to think the washing machine is mine (to be fair,i like doing the washing) and no matter how many times i show him how to use it and the dryer,he just doesn't get it
he stands there,looking gormlessly at it like its going to set itself-the best laugh is,he's the one that saves any booklets that come with white goods and hes the one that studies them and saves them (i wouldnt have a clue where he keeps them!)

he sneezes like steam train-min 5 sneezes

he is amazing,i pulled a nerve in my hip a few weeks ago and couldn't have coped without him
he's always got my back,he supports me in everyway,we laugh at the daftest things and we adore each other

however,if he was the one writing this about me,he'd write pages of my bad habits (i have a few!)
i don't know how he puts up with me!

I must admit I do this. I don't trust it.

DH always has it on. There you are driving down some dark, unlit, twisty road with headlights on full beam when something comes the other way. Nothing happens! I say, you are still on full beam,he says it's ok they will dip automatically. Meanwhile the poor sod coming the other way is blinded and flashing their lights until the auto thing decides to kicks in. I much prefer to do it manually as soon as I see something coming the other way.

Oh yes! The loonnggggg chats about jobs to be done “at the weekend”…
Even if we’ve got something else to do or the forecast is for a monsoon, these will be done this weekend…
Very rare anything does get done “this weekend” or bloody ever!🤨

HOW COULD I FORGET THE MOST ENRAGING ONE?!

Makes cups of tea, and leaves the teaspoon on the white worktop, leaving little moon shaped tea stains on it. Then doesn't even reuse that spoon. JUST THROW IT IN THE SINK, MATE!! 🤬

This thread is timely for me as I've been driven to tears over the last few weeks with pretty much all the stuff mentioned! It's been going on for years of course but for some reason I've just reached my tipping point.
I will add: never closing the wardrobe door, leaving lights on, placing things on things without any thought, thus breaking the thing underneath and/or the top thing balancing precariously; leaving plates/mugs on the floor, if mug left on table then it's next to the friggin' coaster, not putting lids back on properly.
And breathe!
It's weird because he really is a good guy and my absolute rock in so many ways. I thought this was a him thing so it does really help to hear that other men are like this (sorry!).
He is now genuinely trying and I give credit for that.

Leaves the sodden dish sponges in the bottom of the sink rather than squeezing them out and putting them on the draining board. He then does things like tip old cups of tea down the sink so that the sponges become biohazards. We go through a lot.

Takes his clothes out of the dryer and puts them on top of it. I'm not going to move the clothes, so he then adds to the pile until we have a clothes mountain. He used to say this was because of chest of drawers was too small, we now have a bigger one and the clothes mountain is intact.

Not only sneezes at ear-splitting volume but also says 'esh' when he does it. So I have to put up with 'ESH! ESH!ESH!' in my earhole.

I think I've cracked this one with repetition, but he used to take the wet toilet wipes out of the packet and not reseal it so the rest would dry out. Every time.

When he buys stuff I put it away in the cupboard and then he thinks we don't have any and buys more. We have enough washing detergent and dishwasher tablets to last a year now and he's under strict instructions not to get more. I'm sure he'll forget.

Opens suitcase the second we get back from holiday to wash his stuff - no worries there, but then leaves the open suitcase in the middle of the hall/living room. One time I didn't mention it to see how long it would take before he moved it - I cracked after five days.

He is a wonderful man in many respects though, so I kind of put up with the above. I'm sure I have annoying habits also!

Explains diy jobs he's doing at length, as if I'm interested in rawlplugs, flanges or drill bits. Stands in doorways, especially at inconvenient moments. Wipes his face with clean tea towel. Puts unwashed knives back in knife block. Rearranges kitchen cupboards, ostensibly in a more logical fashion, so that I don't know where anything is. Aargh!

Walks past the recycling bin to leave an empty drinks can on the side.

Doesn't tuck his chair in after sitting at the dining table, even though at a pub/restaurant he ALWAYS makes sure all chairs are tucked in on leaving.

Leaves mugs/glasses where he last used them, even though he ALWAYS takes glasses back to the bar in pubs.

Every weekend, tells me all the jobs he needs to do that weekend, then never does them.

Only ever has a shave when I've just cleaned the bathroom.

Leaves the TV on when he leaves the house, even if nobody else is watching it/there.

Tells me about things he's going to buy me, that I'll love or need. I tell him I do not need or already have said item. He buys them anyway, and they sit there unused. Waste of money.

omg the running commentary! My DP does it with packing...
" 7 pairs of pants, nice, got them, yup, ok, 2 smart shirts, yup, good, jeans, one pair of jeans, hmnnnn, 7 pairs of socks, oh no maybe 8 pairs of socks just in case..."
ARGH

That's so weird. Does he bring his own bag or find one of yours?

His jaw clicking whe he eats. I want to actually behead him with a karate kick

Mine does this! Omg

A true spoony fucker doesn't just stir, they add salt /herbs /garlic/soy sauce when it doesn't need it.

Offers me a cup of tea and then needs reminding 3 hours later when I am nearly dying of dehydration.

@JBFletchersJoggingSuit the sock hat is bizarre!

I would just sit on it until he asks for it. Petty I know.🤣🤣🤣

Ah I got round this by keeping an old one which is no longer in circulation so cannot be spent!

Too late for you but have you considered perhaps a trolley token instead?