Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

He doesn’t clean out the drain after he’s done the washing up, so leaves it full of old food etc.

Hard to comment, since it’s a consequence of him having done the washing up…!

It's great once then just a dinner of sadness as he goes off piste...

Ooh, mines started to do that! And my FIL used to. Why do they do it?!

Ok whats the problem with that? You can make bowls and pans etc fit better doing it that way!

Get a coin token.

Mine is brilliant. Cooks, cleans, shops, the works.

But then he does the washing for us but then leaves it hanging up on the kitchen door for days rather than taking it upstairs immediately.

Underwear and socks are immediately brought up, but shirts, blouses and dresses just stay downstairs absorbing cooking smells.

Loads of irritating stuff! Bathroom cupboard with our toothbrushes in is next to the loo. I ask him hundreds of times to shut the door because of any bacteria. He leaves it open a couple of inches, so he does go to close the door... almost.

Rams things into an already full kitchen bin, or fills it to the top with other rubbish and doesn't empty it unless I ask.

Brushes his teeth with electric toothbrush in front and close to the bathroom mirror. It gets splattered every day and he doesn't clean it off unless I ask.

And he's untidy. I'm not hugely fussy but he's something else and is the biggest cause of any arguments. What gets me is when he used to go visit his parents, or as they got older, stay over, he was spotlessly clean because that's how his parents liked it! Grrr.

I feel like his mother at times, oh and a magical cleaning fairy.

Doesn’t hang the wet washing up on the maiden. So takes it out the machine, sorts the stuff for the dryer and then leaves the rest for me!

also strips the beds but doesn’t make them. If he has to do it. Can take him up to an hour

This is quite a nice problem to have to be fair!

Mine tidies by putting stuff into any random cupboard when we have sections for say soups / tuna / tinned fruit - just pays no heed

He also put things on top of the cupboards in the kitchen and utility which I hate and can’t reach

He does the random bits left from the dishwasher too or puts them on draining board - usually things that aren’t run of the mill like cleaned jam jars or Tupperware he has used

He hovers in the doorway, don’t matter what room it is, he’s always in the doorway. Ds18 gets proper pissed off with him when he does this. It annoys me more when I’m trying to do chores around the house and he’s constantly in my way. Standing mostly. Even dd13 said to me the other day, why is my dad always in the bloody doorway.

Mine also does that thing with the wipers!! So bloody irritating! Just put the wipers on properly so you can see out!!

He generally takes up a lot of space… like when he makes a cup of tea it somehow involves the entire bloody kitchen (which isn’t massive, but not tiny). It’s hard to explain, but when I make tea I only need the area around the fridge and kettle, but somehow he needs to be everywhere!

Most annoying thing though is when he tells a story he always leaves the actual point of the story to the end, but gives a load of inane build-up detail that makes no sense. Like he’ll say “Oh, today I bumped into, and I haven’t seen her for ages, but she’s got new glasses and she was saying they’re these new bifocals and I nearly didn’t recognise her, Sandra”. Sometimes he forgets to even get to the point and that’s even more infuriating. It’s like he wants to make sure I keep listening so he crams all the detail in while I’m still waiting to hear his actual point.

I keep a £1 coin in the cup holder in the front of the car for the supermarket trolley. He keeps spending it! We're not hard up but he'll take that £1 rather than get more cash out or pay by card. Fucker.

Cooks an amazing dinner, then either doesn't save the recipe, or remember it, so later efforts are a sad disappointment.

Puts glasses on their SIDE in the dishwasher and plates facedown on the top rack.
Performative throat clearing/sneezing/yawning.
Never shakes laundry and expects it to dry in a crumpled heap, even on the line outside.
Uses a tray for TV dining then walks PAST the dishwasher and sink, depositing tray and plate in farthest corner of kitchen.
Throws out other people’s food or belongings with impunity, but will carefully store a sliver of leftover pizza, onion, or solitary rasher of bacon with the sort of respect usually afforded only to religious relics.
His lifelong commitment to pursuit of the perfect Tupperware.

Hogs the remote control, refuses anyone else access to it, then accidentally drops or sits on it, thereby changing the channel and settings. Spends the next 10 minutes trying to find the right channel again, huffing and muttering about difficult it is to navigate the menu. Has owned the TV 6 years.

The windscreen wipers thing is the the main thing I identify with here. I don’t do it consciously but I suspect it’s something to do with responsiveness. I don’t like it to be out of my hands, I like to be reacting at any given moment to the elements.

Stands in ANY AVAILABLE DOORWAY. So suppose he's walked into the dining room and I follow him, clearly heading for the kitchen. He walks ahead of me and stands in the kitchen doorway!
Also has a force field that stops him putting away any dishwasher items that aren't plates/cups/cutlery or pans e.g. mixing bowls, pizza cutter. You chuffing know where they go and even if you aren't sure you are allowed to make a decision!

Leaves his cheesy socks scrunched up. I am not wafting or touching those revolting things any more than I have to so they go in the machine like it.
And loses keys. Constantly. All keys. All the bloody time. Even MY car keys. Good luck to anyone wanting to nick his car because they’d have to find the keys first. We got a tracker for his car keys. First he took the tracker off to put in a suitcase and forgot to put it back on his keys for months, then when he did he let the tracker battery run out. Now he’s on his spares, until he loses those too

Oh god, I genuinely couldn’t be married to a sniffer. A single train journey with one of the fuckers gives me enough rage to make me want to commit a crime

DH will add items to a virtual checklist which could have been done in the time it takes to add them to the virtual checklist. The stuff does get done so I can’t really complain about this one.

the reasons I will divorce him are 1) he takes approximately 12 weeks to ties his shoelaces and 2) he goes to the toilet at the most irritating times - like after he’s harassed me to get shoes on (I tie my laces quickly like a normal person), he will wait til I am at the door and then and only then ‘nip’ to the loo. See also waiting at the airport gate til our boarding chunk is called - that’s his time to shine.

This is my one, I repair the spreadable butter

Puts the dishwasher on without putting all the dishes in first.

Puts the washing machine on without putting all the dirty clothes on first.

Both should be a crime.

Another one here who can't close drawers or shut cupboards fully; has the most over dramatic sneezes/coughs; never stacks in size order so everything teeters on a single cup/small pan; never shakes clothes out and straightens before hanging.

Haven't spotted yet - when makes bed, never puts end of pillow into "flap" in cover, meaning that pillow constantly pokes out.

It's basically all the little shortcuts that give me the rage. Just fucking do it properly! And stop coughing.

Writes groceries we are running short of on the shopping list.

Sounds helpful doesn’t it, the coffee jar is nearly empty. However what he fails to notice is the new one we already have standing next to it.
It means we end up with a huge supply of some things.

Gets water everywhere after having a shower. Floor , window, top of loo. Towel wet through. Bath mat soaked. I honestly don’t know what he does