Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

A paper towel? Why? Don't you have teatowels like a normal person?

Needs a towel from a neatly folded pile of equally sized towels. Grabs a towel from somewhere in the middle, scattering towels above and below on to the floor. Picks up the dropped towels, scrunches them up and stuffs them back in the cupboard.

He might have acid reflux causing the coughing. Buy him a pack of Nexium and see if it improves.

Oh and uses the sink as a halfway station for dirty yogurt pots and tins of cat food...why? Who is going to clean it? As I'm done with it. Either wash it straightaway and recycle or just bin the lot.

Can't brush teeth without covering the sink, worktop, mirror and floor in toothpaste dribble

mine too, it’s crazy!

Drives round the car park for ages looking for some "perfect ' space while driving past loads of other spaces that look absolutely fine

Breathes (yeah. I know that's probably a basic human right but when he is asleep he doesn't snore he just breathes in a really extravagant way)

The rage I feel when he does this!
For the past 2 years I have broken nights as I'm BF my LO and he yawns so f'ng loud at 8-9am when I feel my day is already half gone...and he has 8-9hrs of blissful sleep.
I do mutter under my breath lol.

Then the slurping of coffee...whyyyyyyy

Comes in the room when I'm watching something (once in a blue moon!) and always right at the denouemont and talks loudly about something spurious. Drives me effing mad!

Goes for 3 shits in the day using COPIOUS toilet rolls. I put 3 out this morning and there’s about half of a roll left now.

Moves the loo roll holder to the side of the toilet where you have to twist to reach it. Moves it from the spot in front to the slightly side, just there, right where it is in front of you , easy to reach, right in front, no twisting, no catching it on your thigh as you try to do down.

Then, then he removes the loo roll and turns it the WRONG way round as in under not over. So you need to to roll it and roll it to try to find the end of it whereas if it’s over… it’s there, right there right in front of your eyes, easy to see, fin and grab.

When we go shopping, instead of putting the shopping away as it’s taken out of the bag, no, he empties the entire bag into the work top then walks away leaving it all

Has insta on loud speaker. So I leave the room. Every time, I stand up and leave the room because I do not want to hear it. He has never noticed.

He shuts and locks every bastard door that he walks through. Need to get the washing in or put it out, back door closed and locked. Need to water the plants, door closed and locked.

Leaves lights on in in every room, leaves kitchen cabinet doors open, makes a sandwich using every meat he can find, ham, Turkey, salami. Leaves the crap all over the work top afterwards.

Dishwasher empty and wide open ready to receive the dirty dishes, knives, forks he has just used but no, they go into the sink ABOVE the fucking dishwasher.

Uses a face cloth in the shower then screws it up and placed it on the taps thereby creating black mould around the tap where it can’t dry out. Throw it into the wash basket dick face.

Insists on closing every single blind in the house every night. Even those at windows that no fucker can see into. Wouldnt dream of opening them the next morning oh except the bathroom one which he winds right up to the top. Looks shit.

Doesn’t indicate when driving until he has stopped at the junction.
Hits EVERY SINGLE FUCKING pothole making no attempt to avoid them, none. Just drives towards and over every single one.

Together for over 30 years, he gets right on my fucking nerves.

@CarrieAnnQ

My husband is brilliant but his over the top and incredibly dramatic sneezing fits make me want to kill him

Oh yes, the huge HUGE dramatic theatrical bloody bastard SNEEZES!

My DH used to leave his empty coke cans by the sink, rather than in the recycling bin, which is under the sink.

Dishwashers seem to be a major source of angst for many couples! It's the same here. DH has an infuriating habit of leaving dishes in the sink or on top of the dishwasher, even when it is empty.
Another one is that he has a bad back so likes to lie on the floor with a couple of cushions off the sofa under his head and he never picks them up and puts them back afterwards. It only takes me 10 seconds to do it so it is not a major inconvenience but then it would only take him 10 seconds too! He's generally a pretty tidy and considerate bloke but seems to have a mental block on these things and it drives me mad. But then I probably have some pretty annoying habits too.

This drives me mad when my DH does this too. Sneezing is so unhygienic & disgusting when you look at the science behind it - so he could at least infect me discreetly. I find loud farting less off-putting, to be honest - at least it’s not contagious.

And dont get me started on when he doesnt wash his hands after the sneezing…. 🤢

I hate loud and performative yawning too. “Am i boring you? Well, youre nauseating me 😀”

Always wears two pairs of socks and leaves them together when he takes them off. I still love him though ❤️

Mine is really fussy about how the dishwasher is loaded down to plates being in size order and evenly spaced etc. just chuck it in, it makes no difference! 😤

Breathes too loudly
Whistles horrible
Sneezes dramatically
Snores ....then uses anti snoring aids and breathes loudly through his nose instead
Clomps upstairs loudly at 1am after falling asleep on the sofa
He even wees loudly

Oh then confuses us all by mumbling so quietly, it's bizarre.

Puts all the shopping away except any toiletries....they get left on kitchen counter for weeks if I don't move them

Blindly follows the satnav even when it's blindingly obvious it is wrong, or there are clear signs to where we need.

Piles stuff up rather than put it away

Waters the grass but never the flowers

Edited to add more to the list of rage

I only drink cold water so have a couple of 1 litre glass bottles in the fridge that I can fill up to always have cold water. Dh has now decided that he likes cold water after many years of being happy with straight from the tap temperature, fine so I add another 1 litre bottle to the door collection and explain to him my system so we all know which bottle is the coldest.

It seems he can run a multi million £ business with divisions in different countries but my cold water system completely flummoxes him. I've had two occasions where I've poured my water and its warm, pointed out his error to him on the first occasion, the second time told him he does it again and he will be banned from drinking my cold water, that the fridge in the garage with cold water on a dispenser will be his if he messes up again. So far my threat has worked.

If you eat meals from it or cook with it, it’s on the bottom. If you drink from it or snack from it, it’s on the top.

It’s not a random oddity, it’s how the dishwasher works. When it first rinses, the dishwasher senses how dirty the water is and adjusts the wash accordingly. Stuff on the top shelf doesn’t rinse so well on the first wash, so the dishwasher thinks your dishes are cleaner than they are if you put the very dirty stuff on the top. This is also why you don’t rinse dishes before you put them in.

Do we have the same husband? Mine does this, both the ignoring a dirty cafetière (which is particularly irksome as he is so tidy and clean otherwise - what is it about the cafetière?!) and the disappearing kitchen items - I have (only semi jokingly) banned him from the kitchen while I am cooking as every implement ends up in the dishwasher as soon as it leaves my hand. I turn around to use a spatula, cake mix bowl (or similar) in hand - usually juggling something, and it’s gone!! He’s the same with paperwork and other random items, I’ll put something somewhere to remind me to do a task or take it to work and he’ll put it away or file it. I shouldn’t really complain but I do often ask him if he didn’t think if maybe there was a reason I left it out on the side…?

He is, however, the opposite to all the other windscreen wiper culprits - he can’t cope with anything on the screen, whether he’s driving or not - if there’s a speck or drip on the passenger side when I’m driving he will ask repetitively for me to wash/wipe the screen as it annoys him. He’s the same with his glasses, constantly cleaning them.

I think a lot of us are, and we should report him for bigamy.

Are we married to the same man?

The utter rage!!!

We’re off on holiday on Thursday morning. I’m supposed to be off tomorrow but can’t be. There is quite a bit to do before we go, but don’t worry, MrZelda has been off today so he would muck in and share the load. As I marvelled at the piles of clean washing to be sorted this evening, he decided it was vital that he…cut the front grass. 🤨

Leaves empty coffee cups in his office for days, meanwhile my clean mug supply drops daily

@itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

OMG, my DH has started to do this. Just this year (He is 60-ish!) Never used to do it! It makes me so anxious (when I am in the passenger seat.....) I think 'YOU CANNOT SEE ANYTHING!' 😱 During those few seconds that he has no visibility, ANYthing could happen!

Flicking his flip/flop slider (on his foot) up in the air when his feet are stretched out on his recliner footrest!

Watching shitty old crap on Talking Pictures, that was out 25 years or more before he was born, and constantly watching the same 7 or 8 comedies and light hearted dramas from the mid 1960s to early 1990s on a loop.

Also something he says that gives me the rage. 'I've tidied the kitchen for you...' (FOR ME?!!!!) 😠

And the latest one that makes me want to claw out my own eardrums....... 'You didn't mind me doing the washing up did you?' What? The? Fuck? I just say 'why on earth would I MIND you doing the washing up?' It's a roundabout way of saying 'aren't you really grateful and properly chuffed that I've done the washing up? I've saved you a job. Go me!'