Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

My brother is like this, extremely contrary. I can’t imagine being stuck with someone like that. Did you not pick up on that before you married?

Same. So annoying.

I'd be cutting off the crappy dried out bit and putting it on his crackers and saying 'that bit's yours, don't worry, it's perfectly alright to eat' while you sit there with the nice stuff on your cracker. That'll learn him.

He is the slowest kitchen walker in the history of the world. Normal speed everywhere else on the planet but put him in the kitchen and it’s like he’s entered a vortex and he is a snail that gets in the way of everywhere I need to be and everything I need to do

Erm…… I think the rest of us know…..

When he uses the cheese he doesn't fold over the edge of the packaging again or put a bag back over it so you end up with a totally dried out rock solid bit you have to cut off and waste when you next use it!
Did bring it up before but he said it's fine you can eat it!!
When he has cheese I literally can't stop stressing mentally about it just drying out so I have to go back to the fridge and cover it myself before bed!

Pauses.

Pintereque pauses.

Every few

words.

It takes an eternitry to reach the end of a sentence.

Sometimes he doesn't bother getting to the end, but there's no way to know which sentences will wither before reaching a conclusion and which will make a point eventually.

Or a fluently delivered dozen paragraphs that could have been 6 words.

If he ever needs to tell me something urgent, like 'The house is on fire', we're doomed.

He loses caps on everything. Say if we have a spray olive oil or are at the beach using sunscreen, he will ALWAYS lose the cap off the top of whatever product he’s using. Drives me mad for no reason 🙃

Mine sits down really ' heavy ' on the sofa and it kinda bounces me up. It really gets on my nerves. Why can he just sit down like a normal person.

Mine gets out a new chopping board for every minor snack (e.g. a full sized chopping board for spreading peanut butter on one cracker for our DS. A new one for slicing two strawberries for his yoghurt) 🫠. The worktops feel like they get covered within an hour of cleaning the kitchen, so it always feels like a mess in there! DH is affronted if ever challenged, because he "needed" every one he got out 🤣🙈.

Ooof. He'd be under the patio for that.

I'm amused and comforted by the number of DHs who let the car windscreen have no visibility before flipping on the wiper for one stroke. My late DH did this.

His other one as cramming as many items into the dishwasher as it would take. This was about economy. Naturally the load came back imperfectly washed, with the added bonus of food scraps being baked on so needing a soak before another wash.

Mine does this too. He'll actually go and buy stuff he thinks we need even though we have a pantry full of it. And he opens a new packet or jar of something without checking to see if there is already one on the go. This makes me murderous. No-one needs three open jars of the same type of mustard in their fridge.

Mine has developed a weird habit recently.

I'll ask him a question and he'll reply with something that is related to the subject, but doesn't actually answer the question. So I'll say 'yes but...' and repeat the question. So he'll expand a bit on the first answer he gave, as if I didn't understand and needed further clarification or background info, while still completely failing to answer the original question.

It's like talking to Rachel Reeves or Keir Starmer. I end up shouting 'FFS stop talking and just listen to what I am saying to you, then answer that question, not some other question which I didn't ask!'

😂

Yes performative illness drives me up the wall. I don't get it. Just go and die quietly please DH

Is he right though? Are you guilty of what is usually a man-crime? Over stuffed washing machines and poorly stacked dishwashers are usually man-crimes that drive women to drink.

OMG yes! My DH does this! Drives me bonkers! Is it just a man thing? Never seen a woman do this!

In the kitchen we've got one of those secret sort of inner drawers that pulls out from within another bigger drawer, which houses all our small utensils. Peelers, garlic press, bottle opener etc. There are loads of little sections and each thing has its place. It's a brilliantly well laid out and organised drawer.

He just cannot seem to get his head around which bits need to go where, in spite of being the one who unloads the dishwasher most days. When I cook I am constantly hunting around in different drawers looking for things that OBVIOUSLY GO IN THE SECRET INNER DRAWER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Not in with the tupperware, not in with the tin foil. IN THE BLOODY UTENSIL DRAWER!!!!

When he makes the bed (which he's also very diligent about doing, so I am loath to complain but...) we have a bedspread over the duvet and he puts it on the wrong way round so it ends up longer than it is wide. This leaves an excessive amount of bedspread hanging off the end of the bed which we will trip up on whenever we walk past, but not enough bloody bedspread hanging over each side of the bed. It looks all wrong but he doesn't notice. Then, when we go to bed he'll tug at his side of bedspread and complain I'm nicking more than my share of the covers. I'm not, it's because he's put it back on the wrong way around so it's too short at the sides. Will he listen and remember for next time? Of course he won't.

Washes up, but only the things immediately in front of him on kitchen worktop. So any cups, plates etc still on the table, or in sitting room don't get done unless I go around collecting them and putting them on work top right in front of him..

I’m driving and we come across roadworks etc and there’s an unexpected delay or detour, he will say ‘oh, I wouldn’t have come this way’. 😡
King of the Afterthought I call him.

I have one of those! He has no spatial awareness whatsoever and is also very distracted by whatever he’s doing. He also nudges sideways into me when we’re out walking, so I always make sure he’s the one walking beside the road/river/100ft cliff🤣 He does have ADHD though and this is a fairly common trait.

Mine is incapable of re-wrapping or re-sealing food properly once opened. I find packets of biscuits or crackers just put back in the larder with the wrapping open, left to go stale and soggy.

Leftovers of a meal will be put in a dish or on a plate in the fridge but not covered. Packets of ham opened then bunged back in the fridge with no foil or clingfilm, so the the top slices will shrivel up and go dry.

Also...bath towels. I cannot seem to make him understand that hanging up a wet bath towel over the top of another towel will not make the wet towel dry. It will merely result in two damp and smelly towels. I've tried to explain about air circulation but it's like I'm talking quantum physics to an orang utan.

It’s completely inconsequential as I don’t live with my partner but his cupboards make no sense, bin bags in the cutlery drawer is bad enough but I made a drink at his the other day and there was a bag of potatoes in the cupboard with the cups and glasses. Baffling.

Mine thinks that it doesn’t matter when you open something if it has a long BB date that it will last. For example if he opens a packet of ham that (unopened) doesn’t go out of date for two weeks, he doesn’t understand that it has to the be used within 3 days once opened.

every time I explain this with food he acts like I have never told him. He definitely thinks I’m making it up.

I bet that poster is American. They call all pasta 'noodles' irrespective of type. In cooking videos they say things like 'take your lasagne noodles...' or 'boil up some spaghetti noodles'. It drives me potty.

And they will often refer to ground beef as 'hamburger'. Not a hamburger, that's a patty. But a quantity of raw ground beef is hamburger. Even if you are going to make a cottage pie or a bolognese sauce with it, it's still hamburger.

And sausagemeat is just sausage. Not a sausage. A singular sausage is a sausage link. A lump of ground pork or sausagemeat is just 'sausage'.

It's all wrong.