Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

He cooks and you literally take one bite and he says 'so how's your dinner?'

I don't know its barely touched my fucking tastebuds mate

Similar to the husband defrosting the stew, if he reheats/ reuses something I’ve cooked as dinner the next night he’ll be like ‘how is it’ and ‘hope you enjoy it’ like he’s expecting to be complimented on his cooking skills. I always say ‘it’s very nice as it was yesterday when I cooked it’. (He does also cook, and asks you how it is almost before you’ve had chance to take the first bite).

Another thing if he wants a taste of your meal/ a bit of your chocolate bar etc he’ll say ‘shall I have some’ in a tone like that would be a treat for you. If it’s eg his turn to cook or do bedtime but he’s busy with something, or I offer in some other way to help him out with something, he’ll say ‘yeah if you want to’ like he’s doing the favour. It drives me unreasonably mad - like doing stuff for him is an incredible treat for me. To be fair, this is how his mum has raised/ treats him - like she lives to serve him. But I’m not his mum!

I promise otherwise he’s pretty great, these things drive me up the wall though.

Not completely inconsequential because it would be burnt/ be half a meal but he declares we need to sort dinner, picks something puts the thing that needs cooking longest in the oven then leaves to do some other job like washing the car or mowing the lawn. Never ever returns to check on it.

Haha, this!!

Scrapes his plates at the end of a meal, like collecting every last scrap and smidge of sauce.

I don't underfeed him by the way, he gets very good portion sizes and then some!!

Puts his half read newspaper down on a seat - just ragebait for me. I never say anything because i am aware I’m being unreasonable. BUT SEATS ARE FOR SITTING NOT STUFF.

Wakes me up from a siesta. Just for once Id like to wake when I was ready, but no, helpful Harry wakes me with a cup of tea when he wakes. Yesterday Id been asleep all of 10 mins 😠

Leaves a used glass on the countertop over the dishwasher and doesn’t put it into the dishwasher. 🙄
I must ask him why.

whistling and strumming fingers LOUDLY. Does my head in. Usually when I’m on the phone to crying to have a conversation with one of the children.

My husband's sneezing is so loud it sometimes hurts my ears

Omg, same. Won't pick up the smaller pans to put bigger ones underneath so they can all stack neatly in size order, just lashes them on the top like an upside down pyramid. Why?

Yes! Also when drying up! I’ve learned to watch like a hawk towards the end and say something like “don’t forget the frying pan” as he goes to move away.

For years he also put things away pretty much at random. But now the kids are older and have started to joke about it “I can’t find the scissors!” “I expect Dad put them somewhere weird, have you tried in with the saucepans?” it’s stopped dead after nearly 20 years.

Crumbs on the counter, crumbs in the butter, crumbs in the marmalade, crumbs on the floor. I’m surprised he has any actual toast left after so much of it is used on making motherfucking CRUMBS.

I have been feeling pissed off, substatially, with my h (don't feel like dh today) and this has been very cathartic for me.
So thank you all so much.
I have the opposite issue with dishwashers. He will, instead of loading it, take stuff out, like large bowls or pans 'as they take up too much space' and hand wash them.
The trouble is that there are only 2 of us, so it takes forever to fill.

And this Auto-contradict. Whatever I say or suggest, he'll immediately start a sentence with 'No' then explain to me why I am wrong. Nine times out of ten he's simply not listened to what I actually said. It is absolutely fucking infuriating.

Especially in front of other people.
Especially when it's something i know about and he doesn't.

In every other way he is delightful.

I have a “one item left” DH. Dishwasher stacked - random item left on the counter unwashed. Dishwasher emptied - one random item left in the dishwasher. Laundry taken upstairs, a random T-shirt or sock left on the sofa. Eating dinner, one last bite of a meal left “because he is full” - it’s a tiny bite, just eat the darn thing. I can understand leaving a few chips, or something you don’t want but it’s literally less than a forkful. I’ve read it’s an ADHD trait, which he does have (diagnosed as a child) but who knows.
The absolute killer though is when I’m running around getting stuff ready to go out, then he turns up at the last minute, puts on the kids shoes and gets them in the car and then goes “what are you doing, we’re all waiting??” When I’m finally getting my few things together/going to the loo because I’m not wrangling children

My husband does eight, apparently you have a set number of sneezes typically. Mine is two.

Snap. Thinking about it, and not all men and not all women obviously but I do wonder if men have a higher risk tolerance? I’m generally more anxious than him.

in the same vein mine drives with one hand on the wheel , well not one hand kind of a couple of fingers which makes me panic, especially when we go round a corner or a twisty road. Two hands I beg you.

Mine always says 'Did you get what you wanted?' When I come back from supermarket with a huge shop. No, all I wanted was a salmon fillet and a bottle of SB. All the other stuff is to feed him. On a really bad day it's the way he breathes, eats, talks and exists!!

In a similar vein, whenever I get into the car after my wife had been driving the air con is always on max blower and either set to 16°C in the hot weather or 30°C in the cold. There's an auto setting that maintains a comfortable temperature for a reason 🤬

Puts banana skins in the living room waste paper basket, so they sit there stinking and going slimy.

Leaves his crusts on his plate and the plate on the work surface above the dishwasher and wanders off
Leaves the teabag and dregs of tea in the mug, again on the surface above the dishwasher
Squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle
Follows me into the kitchen and stands in front of every cupboard door I need
Leaves a task unfinished so everything is left out all over the dining table/kitchen surfaces when we need to use them for their primary purpose......

......Oh no wait, those are all things I do that drive HIM crazy

I'm so glad I live alone 😂

The current man in my life will never put lids on things properly. He will get himself some sparkling water, and just put the lid on and turn it half a centimetre, so the next time I open the bottle the water is completely flat.

He did used to take his socks off and leave them in random places in my living room, but I started throwing them away when I found them, and he was perplexed by his sudden lack of socks and stopped doing it.

Stands in a doorway reading something on his phone completely zoned out. I could be screaming the house is on fire and he would ignore it.

Every time we are heading out the door he will suddenly find a side quest that has to be done that moment. So we will be waiting for him to suddenly water a plant or some other random little task.

Loads the dishwasher like a feral raccoon.

He’s also a sink ‘steeper’ and leaves things in gross water to soak that absolutely don’t need soaking.

Puts the kids water bottle straws in the dishwasher so they go orange and start to smell. One of a long, long list but I’d be here all day.

Omg I'm glad It's not just my husband with the windscreen wipers. To start with it turned out he didn't know how to use the automatic wipers, but he still leaves it ages before using them.

Another, he collects his dried washing but leaves mine and the kids. I sometimes leave it so long to see if he puts the rest away.