Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

Mines well annoying
Constantly breathing
Really pisses me of

@TantrumsAndBalloons He also cannot differentiate between clean and dirty in the dishwasher- every day after breakfast he will open the dishwasher and say "is this clean?"

Yes, yes, YES! I also get this. DH, what is it about the smell of stale fish coming from the dishwasher makes you think it is clean?

Unhelpful tydying up after me while I'm cooking. So I'll be focusing on one element and setting up the next. Think making lasagna as an example. I'll be doing the meat element but have say the grater out and pull out flour etc ready to move to the next stage and he will come in and put the grater away and the flour etc. Just get out you pain in my arse!

Puts items in the recycling that I have told him a 1000 times do not get recycled, like a random used tissue or chewing gum wrapper, but then bins glass bottles. It's like he cannot understand it. My bin for rubbish and recycling box are not next to each other so it isn't like he has pressed the wrong pedal on the bin, he has made a conscious effort to sort rubbish this way.

My now ex had a habit of never closing closet doors or shutting drawers. At the time we finally separated, we were expats in a country where it's customary to have home help. One day, shortly before we split, I rebuked him for leaving a drawer open (I'd just walked into it) and he said, "I pay people to shut drawers for me.")

It was a factor in the split for sure.

Decides he needs. to go for a poo just as I am about to serve dinner up.

Puts a washing load on at 9pm at night where he had all day to do it. Turning every thing into some kind of rocket science. We need to find a carpenter for some work. He’s taken months sourcing someone. I found someone in 10 minutes. While I’m making dinner he will come along at the last few minutes to help, getting in the way and putting food on the plates when it isn’t finished. He cleans the downstairs every weekend and tells our friends that I don’t do any house work!!

My ex wife, at the age of 45, still did not know how to stack nor empty a dishwasher

I'm going to admit it... I do ENORMOUS sneezes. Really dramatic ones. I get bad hayfever so it's really horrible but may as well have some fun with them.

My dh does small lady-sized ones but millions in a row.... which is obviously far worse ...

I'm the husband, but can answer this one on DPs behalf.

I don't shut the wardrobe door properly a lot of the time, and it drives her absolutely spare.

20 years I have been trying and failing to reliably achieve this simple task. Nope, still got complained at last night.

I have solved one thing that drove me insane for literally years and that was DHs absolute obsession with the Sky recordings. Every time we used over 30% of space he used to go on a rampage and sit there saying to me- who recorded this?, are you going to watch it? when are you going to watch it? to the point I wanted to throw the remote out of the window. Every single time I would point out that 1- I could have watched at least one thing I had recorded in the time it took him to complete the bloody Spanish inquisition and 2- the majority of space was taken up by HIS recording the entire practice sessions, qualifying, race, post race on an F1 weekend
We now have sky glass with our own playlists so thankfully this is now a thing of the past but dear god almightly it was annoying

He also cannot differentiate between clean and dirty in the dishwasher- every day after breakfast he will open the dishwasher and say "is this clean?"
Bearing in mind he gets up first so every day my reply is- "did you empty the dishwasher when you got up? No? Then unless the fairies came and did it I think we can assume its clean and needs emptying"

He also wants to keep EVERYTHING "just in case" I would love to know what event would necessitate us having an iphone from 2009 that no charger even fits anymore and the cable for his speakers that do not work and were thrown out years ago but he is just waiting for the moment he can jump up and say SEE I TOLD YOU WE NEEDED THIS

It can also be from growing up (or even currently living) somewhere with very hard water. You only need one mouthful of limescale before you never, EVER drink right to the bottom of the cup again.

My kids complain about me doing it (I don't have a DH) because they say there's a filter on the kettle, but this doesn't always work and a mouthful of cool tea full of little bits (and sometimes large ones) is revolting.

My one does the windscreen thing too! Highly annoying and most of his driving is actually annoying. He's a good driver but so over cautious. Getting into a car park with plenty available parking spaces, he drives past lots of suitable ones and chooses one furthest away always

Mine is usually last to pass the back door before bed. Every night in bed, me: "did you check if the back door was locked". DH: "oh I'm probably but I can't quite remember". Cue me getting out of bed, going downstairs, finding the door is actually locked then going back to bed. AARGH please just commit to remembering! We've discussed it, no change.

Used to say he was going to run the bath 'off' and cubbot instead of cupboard and dressing gownd with the d on the end ick ick ick

I feel ungenerous even typing this, but the way he eats crisps. He's got lovely manners in general, but Oh. My. God. The crunching and lip smacking and the sheer quantity of crisps he can put away when he gets his hands on a sharing bag. I get angry just thinking about it.

The chewing noise when eating gummy sweets 😡

Sounds like he’s trying to protect the wiper motor mechanism! No bloody good if you’re all dead though…

Literally screams if he gets a calf muscle cramp in the middle of the night. A proper bellowing "Aaaaarghhh!" I sometimes get the same thing and I just suck air through my teeth and massage my muscle until it goes. I don't wake the house up!! 😆 Luckily it's not frequent.

Always leaves cupboard doors open - just why?
Pours dregs of tea into the sink but never rinses it away so there is a permanent brown stain on the stainless steel drain - until I clean it of course!
Mumbles terribly - he says there is something wrong with my hearing, but how come I can hear everybody/everything else?
Never uses the bath mat so there is always water all over the floor - I have pointed out this is dangerous too, but to no avail.
Never rinses the bath after use.
Crumbs everywhere after making toast - and the knife he has used to spread butter is left standing up in the jam jar!

Leaves the washing up water in the sink so next time I come to it it's cold and smelly. Why!

Love these.. all of them.... I think there are things I do that infuriate my husband!!

Passive aggressive chopping.. I like my vegetables in chilli, curry, etc in small similarly sized shapes.. he prefers large chunks.. I slice mushrooms including the stem.. he removes the stem and cooks it whole.. I prefer a high mayonnaise to tuna ratio smoothly mixed, he prefers chunks... and mince.. he prefers the mince to clump together... I prefer my bolognese to be very fine.

We do love each other!! But it is minor silent battle field in the kitchen.. he ignores the kids preferences and is then confused why they don't eat his food... this is getting better now there has been a shift in our working hours and he is around more for dinner and lunch making!

Puts fruit in the bowl still in nets and plastic packaging.

Leaves the dishwasher open. In fact doesn’t close drawers or the bin etc.

Blows his nose incredibly loudly. Terrifies the cat.

Pointlessly rearranges the dishwasher.

Leaves all manner of random items by doors and the bottom of the stairs “to go out/up” but doesn’t take them…

Mine is amazing in so many ways so I bite my tongue hard, but…

Can’t wash glasses properly - always, always smeary. I’ve sort of fixed this by saying I’ll wash them, but he still sometimes does (tbf some people would complain if he left them, so…) but then I have the irritation of taking a ‘clean’ glass out of the cupboard and having to wash it before I can use it. I don’t know what he does wrong - I’ve watched him and we’ve done it together to find out why! He does the exact same as me, except his are smeary and sometimes greasy, and mine are crystal clear… same washing up order, same sponge…

Drawers are never shut. It’s like a phobia. We joke about it except on the odd occasion where I turn around and catch myself on an open drawer, then I swear a lot.

Fridge (and to a lesser extent, freezer) door is also to remain open while in use. This could be for as long as it takes him to cook (yes I’m happy that he’s cooking dinner). The fridge beeps after a while to remind you… he shuts it to stop the beep then opens it again. It’s a very basic fridge and can’t cope with this so it ends up with regular overheating/frost issues and I end up with rage issues!

We used leaf tea - and a tea strainer....