Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

You are not alone.

Cant make the bed properly, no matter how many times i say it…. Plump the pillows and pull the duvet taught and neatly folded over at the top, not just pulled up with dented pillow's ffs.
close the toilet door so the automatic air freshener has a chance of making it smell nice and the noise of it going off doesn't ricochet around the house giving me a shock.
and please please move the cushions on the sofa back to the corner with a little plump at bedtime instead of leaving them side by side where you moved them. Drives me mad coming down every morning and having to do it.

Similar, but replace windscreen wiper for high-beam switch on country lanes in pitch-black darkness...😨

Finishing things and then putting the empty boxes/bottles back in the fridge/cupboard so I don’t know they’re empty. Drives me mad. Sadly my adult children have started to do this too. Might need to have an intervention!

Opens the windows too wide that i cannot reach them to close.

He is really long and i really short

I think I'm married to his brother 😁. Cured his laundry habit by making him totally responsible for the whole process but the rest, yeah.

He regularly complains about the mess on the kitchen table and demands that I clear my stuff off it. I pick up my two items and smile as he realizes that the rest is his. Every f...ing time.

Wow 😳! I can't imagine how anyone irons knickers .Is it nice to have properly flat undies ? I can't picture it.

So many relatable things here. Didn’t realise everyone else’s husbands did the windscreen wiper thing! Just bloody wipe the rain off the screen!!

Does the washing up, but once finished leaves the gross water in the bowl every time.

Insists taking the kitchen bins out is “his” job but won’t do it until the recycling is overflowing all over the place.

Makes a lot of noise generally. Humming, do-de-do-ing. Can’t walk past me without asking if I’m ok, yeah I’m fine you’ve asked 8 times today just take the bloody bins out.

I’ll start by saying I love his bones. He’s amazing and should we ever split or he die, I wouldn’t look at another man again, as they’ll just be let downs, but …
He will wash his hands at the sink, and then with his dripping wet hands walk across the kitchen for a tea towel dripping water all over my floor! ALL OVER IT.
Also he can’t make soup or beans or something wet without also getting loads on the counter which he doesn’t clean up! Water dripping soup spreading shit bag 😡
He’ll also say “I’ve cleaned the house from top to bottom” and I say .. windows and window sills, skirtings? He’ll say no, and I check and they’re manky and I said well you haven’t cleaned from top to bottom then have you!
I love him though, and he’s definitely got a list of things that I do that piss him off as well 🤷🏻‍♀️

He decides to do a big diy job just before we have guests e.g paint the doors out to the garden or fix something

The amount of toilet paper he uses. I don't live with my partner and I buy posh Andrex puppy toilet roll because it makes me happy. But whenever he comes over and has a wee when I'm in the same room (say I'm brushing my teeth, having a shower etc) I'm gobsmacked by the amount of loo roll he needs to use.

He gets a massive wad to dab the end of his willy. Then he gets another massive wad to wipe around the loo rim, in case of any splashes. He must use 12 squares per pee, and I use 2.

My DH did this once, without pulling my padded bras into shape! I had to re-wash them.

Doesn't use bins. Litter and recycling all over the place, often piled up next to the sink, directly above our bins.

Clothes and shoes abandoned in places where they shouldn't be.

Requires chasing about 80 times before doing a task. Doesn't update me when it's done. Then looks annoyed that I am harassing him.

Has ridiculous processes and procedures which - if not complied with - everything just falls apart. Example: baked cookies but because I did not weigh out all the ingredients from the start (just why?), he forgot to add ALL of the dry ingredients including flour. I then had to save the cookies. If I remind him about this in the future he will probably get really cross with me. Apparently it's my fault.

Restacks the dishwasher when it's perfectly fine.

If he doesn't have time to do a thorough job, he won't do it at all. Whereas I'm like "well I only have 10 minutes today, let's see what I can do and I'll continue with the rest another day". Example: every so often our larder cupboard needs reorganising. I would do a shelf at a time if pressed for time but he has to take it ALL out (big cupboard, holds nearly all our dry food) and take several hours doing the whole thing. Obviously this happens very rarely.

Arghghhh.

Uses a paper towel to do the drying up instead of a tea towel. Such a waste and bad from the environment!

Mine actually hangs things on top of each other on the line, as well as not shaking them smooth.

If he sneezes (and I mean once, not a massive fit of it), cries, 'God! What's that about?' like it means he's coming down with some Victorian death bug. Mate, people just sneeze sometimes.

Empties the dishwasher but then leaves new dirty stuff on the side.

Mine is really unreasonable but I feel like he saves the hoovering for when I am around and I hate the noise. I am in the office all day 4 days a week (and shut away in the home office on the 5th day) but he always seems to do it during the actually quite rare times I am relaxing. He does basically all the housework (he doesn't have a job) and can obviously set his own timetable for this.

Oh another one! He always leans over me when I am cooking and turns the extractor fan on full and I hate it. I can't think when it's that loud.

Mine are all noise related!

Envious of the never procrastinates. We still don't have skirting boards in the kitchen after redecorating nearly 3 years ago! The wood is bought and sitting there ( in the way) . It will be time to redecorate before the skirting boards are in place. Inexplicably tore off the stair carpet, because he thought wooden stairs would look more aesthetically pleasing, but hasn't filled and sanded the woodworm marks yet, so not only no carpet on stairs, but stairs that look riddled with wood worm, this was 5 years ago! I could go on.......

Same!!! Love the bones of him but he's woken me up doing it before, he's lucky he wasn't smothered with a pillow!

Sorry, this made me laugh so hard 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣.

Oh yes this. My mother is one for these. They sit somewhere between incredibly annoying and utterly terrifying! (They’ve nearly caused traffic accidents a couple of times!) And it’s the weirdest thing isn’t it?! 40 odd years of experiencing her do these and I still can’t quite believe they’re wholly natural, it feels performative. And the sound, it’s like a bear has just been hit in the stomach by a wreaking ball and had all the air knocked out of it. Constantly amazed half her inners don’t come flying out.

The other sneeze that I find hard to witness is the one that sounds like the person is doing their very best not to let it out and instead there’s a sort of small echoing explosion in their head, like a bomb being set off in a controlled explosion. It sort of hits the closed mouth and then ricochets about trying to get out of any possible head based orifice.

Over the top sneezing
eating loudly
Holding cutlery in the “wrong” hands
putting salt and pepper on meal before tasting it
sitting watching while I get baby ready for bed; and moving creams etc when he thinks I’m finished with them…not putting away, just moved to a different place

Licks the yoghurt lid. It’s not exactly what he does but how he does it

Exactly the same here! My husband is very capable at washing up but for some strange reason my reusable coffee cup just doesn’t seem to register with him as something that requires washing.

So despite the cup being in the exact same place as everything else to be washed - right next to the sink - he studiously ignores it every single time. Bizarre.

I keep coming back to this to add more.

It's me, not him. I love him. I'm perimenopausal and tired, and his very EXISTENCE moves me to rage. But this is cathartic.

Leaves the greasy, bitty, dirty water in the washing up bowl after he's washed the non-dishwasher stuff. All night, with the cloth in. So I get to deal with cold greasy soup in the morning. (No, he gets no credit for doing the dishes. This is not the place).

Uses food bags to keep things fresh in the fridge (ie, opens a pack of sandwich chicken, uses half, puts it in a food bag). We have a drawer full of plastic takeaway tubs accumulated over the years for exactly for this purpose. I can't bear the casual use of single use plastic, environmentally OR financially. USE A FUCKING TUB.

Sleeps on his back with his arms by his side and the duvet tucked primly under his chin, like a corpse or a sci-fi robot, and doesn't move all night. It creeps me out.