Fabswingers, facilitators of sex crimes

I've literally just finished it. And I think it was more of an issue to do with her relationship. The website.
Didn't find it particularly difficult listen, but I do deal with a lot of stuff like this at work

Listened to two episodes of the podcast. Difficult to listen to. I imagine the website could do something to be better but the real issue is the husbands and partners. This woman sharing her story will enlighten a lot of other women in similar situations. I hope it gets more traction so more women hear her story.

Agree, abusive men will find and prey on vulnerable women anywhere.

I think if you want to take fan swingers down you first need to take down X, Facebook, tinder etc which will all be named in many more sexual crimes.

I’m not sure that’s true to be honest, and certainly isn’t reflective of what the article has said, it’s more the website doesn’t get involved. I’m not sure it’s right to say they are normalising it and facilitating. Abusers abuse, they don’t need a platform to do it, abusive men, and abusive women, let’s face it, have existed since time began.

The problem is abusive men, but the website both normalises and facilitates their desire to abuse.

This issue lies with the woman's husband, not the website. She was clearly vulnerable and he exploited that.

I also don’t see this as a website issue and I think it would be impossible for the website to fully protect against it. What would they need to do. Keep interviewing each woman on her own, be able to tell when she was lying. Ie like this lady displaying enthusiasm.

the issue is it’s simply a platform for abusers to use. If it wasn’t this, it would be something else. You don’t even need a platform. They can go dogging, advertise discreetly. Even find men down the pub.

a major part of this particular situation is Ruth herself often looked for the men, by her own admission appeared enthusiastic. No one knew whay was going on behind closed doors. About her mental health

on saying that though, if up to 65 percent of women on there don’t want to be, that’s a huge bloody number, and how do they know it is that high.Because if the members know. Then so should the platform. And they need to get that sorted.

but then if two thirds of the woman dropped out. The site would be way less successful, so potentially success over safety going on here.

i personally don’t think many women really want to do this, some yes, but a minority.i think this swinging thing is mainly a male desire. Again not alasts but I’d say it’s mostly weirdo men driving it. And certainly few women want to do it to the extent of 4 men a day. Thays a clear indication something is very wrong.

Maybe we could just actually punish men for abusing women and teach boys not to abuse women . Rather than ban the internet? It's like banning women from going after dark. Or banning women from drinking tea lest you be drugged and raped by your own husband.

You can't just ban a website because it enables rapists and abusers to access victims. So long as rapists and abusers are allowed to exist among us they will access victims.

I agree, and IME, swingers sre usually better than your average bloke on OLD at consent and accepting a no.

But there are definitely couples where one partner is into it and the other isn't, and way too many blokes who will take advantage of this. I have also had to explain to my then partner that just because he fancies the woman, it doesn't mean i fancy her husband (and the women are, on average, better turned out than the men.) Most clubs don't let single blokes in, and it's not difficult to work out why.

Having heard all the episodes, I definitely think Fab could have done/do more to protect users. It's all very well starting off as a voluntary thing, but I think once you get to a certain size, you need to take your website more seriously and responsibly - and if you're making money from it, you should have the resources to do it professionally. (I've not had an account there myself, so I can't fully judge.)

I was a swinger (with my lover) for a while when I was younger. This is not swinging, it is pure sexual abuse.

I mean, I'd be perfectly happy for it to be banned, but it won't really solve the problem because more websites will just pop up, and if these websites get banned completely, they'll just pop up on the dark web, which is trivially easy to access, so I'm not sure how useful a ban would be.

Absolutely disgusting, this is happening. I had no idea, and I've been horrified listening to the podcast.

Agreed. Protection of people should be a higher priority than enabling people to get their rocks off.

From listening to the podcast today (I had a day of work and I was redecorating/DIY so listened to the whole thing).

The premise of the podcast is that it isnt swinging that is the issue but the use of the website, fab swingers, that makes it so easily for men to use it to abuse women. There are no guardrails and the website dont appear to be bothered to instal any.

*edited as posted halfway through the messagr in error

This woman is so brave for speaking out. That takes guts and she’s gone through a lot of trauma.

I’m not so sure the website is to blame for basically existing, ideally there would be ways for them to better safe guard people using it. But the big problem here is, as always, men. Specifically, abusive, manipulative men and men who apparently don’t have a problem literally raping a woman while her husband/partner/other people watch. Unfortunately there is a frightening number of evil men who prey on women and they will always find a way. This site might be a handy tool to go about it but it’s not the reason for it.

In three in
sounds more like just abuse and mental illness. The fabswinger bit is tangential

Yes, so did rape. It was, however, logistically more difficult to recruit troops of anonymous male strangers to rape your wife before the internet.

Again, based on the podcast so far it would seem reasonable for websites that are making vast amounts of money from said activities to have some kind of accountability and openness about the crimes involved. Whereas fabswingers has a schtick about how it’s just a bunch of like-minded volunteers doing the site in their spare time, honest guv.

I’ve met people off Fabswingers and other hookup sites tbh. I’m not sure I would do it again (even if dp weren’t around).

swinging existed long before the internet,

Always so naive to believe because women should have the strength, financial power and logistical support to walk out of a marriage the day their husband crosses a line, all women do have the strength, financial power and logistical support to walk out of a marriage the day their husband crosses a line.

Always so naive to believe that because men shouldn't pressurise and emotionally abuse women to break them, men don't pressurise and emotionally abuse women to break them.

Always so naive to believe that despite all the women saying how they were pressurised into sexual acts they would rather not do, somehow women are not in fact being pressurised into sexual acts they would rather not do.

Seems like for some people, one happy hooker story or one sunny swinger story or one economically excited escort story carries more weight than any number of women having less joyful experiences.

Fabswingers absolutely needs taking down, I reported my ex for posting intimate pictures without permission. They claimed because I wasn’t identifiable (face covered by an emoji) that the pictures would be kept on the site and ex is free to carry on. The way they deal with issues like this is horrendous and I dread to think how many more women are going through this hell, that they may be aware of.

I won’t listen to the podcast as I know it will anger me too much.

Always so feminist to equate women with children.

I think the bigger issue rather than focusing/blaming a website is why the men & couples who were meeting the woman were not ensuring they had HER explicit consent before engaging in any sort of sexual activity?

The podcast interviews several swingers estimating that half to 65% of women involved don’t want to be there. I think it would be good to promote that figure, to reduce the normalisation of it.

ww don't need to ban things to make people aware of them and their potential harm

What was the name of the French website Dominique Pelicot used - Without Her Knowledge was it? Even the title references a crime.