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AIBU?

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Original poster

DDs friends dad is a Prick

208 replies

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:09

Dd has a friend on the road who comes to stay regularly with her cousins and play, Dd plays with her but they have a love-hate relationship really. She’s the only child Ive seen Dd argue with, I’ve tried to cool things between them, but they still love to play together a lot of the times.
This friend often calls over the fence to Dd and vice versa to play. When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house, even though this child is the issue/hard work and the mum agrees, but she’s just a child
The other day, Dd heard her playing in the garden and called to ask if she was there and her dad loudly shouted back ‘No!’ and it all went quiet. Dd came inside a bit confused/upset

Was this a mean thing for him to do? What would you do?

OP posts:
Owly11 · 16/06/2026 11:35

You are overthinking it. He doesn't want his daughter playing with your dd and it sounds like you're not wild about the arrangement either. Just explain that the neighbour's kid is not always available and that that's fine. End of.

bridgetreilly · 16/06/2026 11:32

Let it go.

Seriously. There is nothing to be done that is in any way going to make anything better for anyone in this situation.

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:32

Darragon · 16/06/2026 11:31

He’s probably absolutely fed up of your child shouting over the fence while he’s trying to live his life! Teach her not to do that, it’s beyond rude!

😂This is hilarious as this is what his Dd does non stop when he isn’t there

OP posts:
Darragon · 16/06/2026 11:31

He’s probably absolutely fed up of your child shouting over the fence while he’s trying to live his life! Teach her not to do that, it’s beyond rude!

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:31

Pistachiocake · 16/06/2026 11:30

This.
Also some men are scared to have a girl that isn't theirs round for fear of being accused of stuff. Sad and pathetic that is the case, but hey.

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His sister and cousins are there

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Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:31

Shatteredallthetimelately · 16/06/2026 11:29

If this DC is mean to your DD and is the one that causes most of the upset why do you even want her near your DD?

I don’t really, ive cooled it a lot but sometimes they are great together and are very happy playing together, it’s difficult when they’re nearby

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Pistachiocake · 16/06/2026 11:30

rubyslippers · 16/06/2026 11:11

Maybe the dad is also sick of the fighting between the kids or wants to spend time with his daughter without a mate
I don’t think he’s a prick from what you’ve said

This.
Also some men are scared to have a girl that isn't theirs round for fear of being accused of stuff. Sad and pathetic that is the case, but hey.

givemushypeasachance · 16/06/2026 11:30

Why are you even posting on AIBU when you are fully confident you're not unreasonable and he was a dick who was rude to your child. Why not just post to vent about your dick neighbour instead.

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:30

outerspacepotato · 16/06/2026 11:28

He gave your daughter an answer. You just didn't like the answer. I don't think he's a prick for that.

Tell your kid to stop bugging about playing together when she hears them outside.

She very rarely’Bugs them’ it’s vice versa, she was calling to see if she was there to say hello

OP posts:
Shatteredallthetimelately · 16/06/2026 11:29

If this DC is mean to your DD and is the one that causes most of the upset why do you even want her near your DD?

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:28

Pinkchickenwine · 16/06/2026 11:25

So you’ve involved the friends mother saying she’s badly behaved, etc as you say the mother agrees?

Perhaps she agrees for a quiet life and the DF thinks it’s actually your child is the awful one, so
he doesn’t want his DD going to
your house.

You sound awful about the friend and clearly think your DD is an angel, so I think I’d not want my child going to yours.

Wow, not that at all! The mum approached me about her behaviour as she struggles with her with the cousins and other kids too. I was careful about what I said and put it down to them just being kids and would never be mean to the child or any child

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 16/06/2026 11:28

He gave your daughter an answer. You just didn't like the answer. I don't think he's a prick for that.

Tell your kid to stop bugging about playing together when she hears them outside.

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:26

Hallebere · 16/06/2026 11:21

Noone in my family or anyone I know would shout a loud No through the fence at a child. That does sound rude and quite jarring tbh. Even if he is sick of the arguing or he's only hearing his daughters side and thinks your DD is the problem he's an adult and should of been more polite. It's tricky for you to navigate isn't it really it's hard to keep them separate when they can just shout over the fence to each other. Perhaps say to your daughter it's not very polite to shout over the fence and that needs to stop but if we see her out the front you can ask her if she'd like to play. That way you aren't saying a blanket no but you are giving them less opportunities to interact

I mean, he even laughed afterwards, he’s a dick to do that to a child
I also noticed the auntie (his sister and owner of house) was extra nice to Dd after that, they knew he was being awful and to a child

OP posts:
Pinkchickenwine · 16/06/2026 11:25

So you’ve involved the friends mother saying she’s badly behaved, etc as you say the mother agrees?

Perhaps she agrees for a quiet life and the DF thinks it’s actually your child is the awful one, so
he doesn’t want his DD going to
your house.

You sound awful about the friend and clearly think your DD is an angel, so I think I’d not want my child going to yours.

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:24

Hallebere · 16/06/2026 11:21

Noone in my family or anyone I know would shout a loud No through the fence at a child. That does sound rude and quite jarring tbh. Even if he is sick of the arguing or he's only hearing his daughters side and thinks your DD is the problem he's an adult and should of been more polite. It's tricky for you to navigate isn't it really it's hard to keep them separate when they can just shout over the fence to each other. Perhaps say to your daughter it's not very polite to shout over the fence and that needs to stop but if we see her out the front you can ask her if she'd like to play. That way you aren't saying a blanket no but you are giving them less opportunities to interact

Yes it was exactly this, I find her friend very mean at times and she’s very persistent, but i’m not mean to her because i’m an adult, it was very rude and not kind the way it was done
Dd can’t go to the house when he’s there

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Hallebere · 16/06/2026 11:21

Noone in my family or anyone I know would shout a loud No through the fence at a child. That does sound rude and quite jarring tbh. Even if he is sick of the arguing or he's only hearing his daughters side and thinks your DD is the problem he's an adult and should of been more polite. It's tricky for you to navigate isn't it really it's hard to keep them separate when they can just shout over the fence to each other. Perhaps say to your daughter it's not very polite to shout over the fence and that needs to stop but if we see her out the front you can ask her if she'd like to play. That way you aren't saying a blanket no but you are giving them less opportunities to interact

WhatAMarvelousTune · 16/06/2026 11:21

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:14

Because he shouted back no when dd asked jf she was there, when she clearly was there, then laughed and that he doesn’t let her play, when his child is the naughty/awful one sometimes

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When his child is the naughty/awful one sometimes

But from what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound clear that this man doesn’t know his child sometimes behaves poorly?

Maybe he should have said “X can’t play right now”. But we have some persistent (and fairly annoying) children next door who yell over the fence about playing with DDs, and sometimes I don’t want to get into a back and forth with them because they see any response as an opening to negotiate with me about it. Sometimes it’s just no.

TheBlueKoala · 16/06/2026 11:20

@Roadislikeabuildingsite Obviously the dad was rude but he did you a favour in the end.

DavidStopActingLikeADisgruntledPelican · 16/06/2026 11:19

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:16

I have too, but he’s rarely there to know any of it and it’s his child making trouble

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Then he’s done you a favour hasn’t he? He’s been the one to say no and he’s the bad guy for it. You’re in the clear.

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:19

It would have been perfectly fine for him to have said they weren’t playing today, it was the way it was done, Dd called to ask if she was there (as her friend constantly does) she could hear them chatting and laughing, dad shouted no they weren’t there, they all went silent and he sort of laughed, seems mean the way it was done

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zoemum2006 · 16/06/2026 11:18

I'd be grateful he made himself the bad guy TBH....

You said yourself you want to cool their relationship and now you can without having to be the one to draw the boundary.

DavidStopActingLikeADisgruntledPelican · 16/06/2026 11:18

He literally said no. That’s it? All you have to do is acknowledge your child’s disappointment and say “never mind, you can play together another day. Let’s do xyz instead…” no one needs to confront anyone because they said no.

Error404FucksNotFound · 16/06/2026 11:17

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:16

I have too, but he’s rarely there to know any of it and it’s his child making trouble

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Then maybe its for the best they dont play together any more.

rubyslippers · 16/06/2026 11:16

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:14

Because he shouted back no when dd asked jf she was there, when she clearly was there, then laughed and that he doesn’t let her play, when his child is the naughty/awful one sometimes

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Why are you so keen for your child to play with the “naughty” onr
You’re the one making a mountain out of a mole hill on this

Original poster
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:16

Error404FucksNotFound · 16/06/2026 11:13

Maybe the dad is pig sick of the fighting
He shouldnt have snapped of course but I expect he knows its just going to end up in them arguing and he's had enough.

I have too, but he’s rarely there to know any of it and it’s his child making trouble

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