DDs friends dad is a Prick

You understand that you can say no to the other child too, right..?

Sounds like answered the implied question of whether his daughter was available.
If he already had his sister and other family members there, it would be rude for the daughter to come round to play.
You don't know why he laughed, there were others present, maybe he was laughing at one of them.

But you’ve already said

Dd can’t go to the house when he’s there

So she won’t be going anyway!

I really doubt that, as in your op you say both of them do it.

Maybe he doesn't want another child there when family is there. Maybe he doesn't like your daughter. Maybe he gets sick of hearing the arguments/hearing his wife complain about them. Maybe they were in the middle of something. Maybe he thinks it's about time someone said no

Who knows. He doesn't owe your daughter an explanation. He doesn't owe her an invitation in. Saying no to a child is necessary sometimes. It doesn't make someone a dick.

No is a complete sentence, after all!

You are taking the ‘no’ as an idiot to your dd.

he probably just doesn’t wanna deal with the two girls fighting and playing

I suspect he is just irritated with the whole thing, they are visiting the little girl doesn’t live there, and he doesn’t want more drama and is teaching his daughter when they visit they visit. She doesn’t go off with the neighbours kid or invite her round. He probably laughed as he did it on reflex and was a bit embarassed.

either way the op needs to teach her daughter how to take no for an answer and not to shout over the fence.

Well if it only happens when he's not there then he probably doesnt know about it, does he? It's still intrusive.

OP, you're being over sensitive.
The two children fight.
They both shout over the fence to attract the attention of the other one.
TBH they both sound as bad as each other, and the dad is probably sick of the constant bickering and shouting over the fence.

Maybe you should just agree to ignore each other when shouting across the fence, or ONLY do it if the kids are in the back garden alone, I'd be annoyed at next doors kid shouting over when I've got family round, as it is obvious they want to come over and play.

If her behaviour is worse when she is with your daughter that is another reason why he wouldn't want to have her round when his sister and kids are there.

It was pretty mean of him to do it that way though, he was obviously playing to his 'audience'.

But you call her awful? You don’t think that came across?

Leave the child be, stop
allowing your child to pester, she was in her garden with her family laughing abd having fun. Why invite her over, then it’s conflict with your child and she’s upset.

He said no, that’s it!

How old is your child? There comes a point you need to teach manners and shouting over the fence is not ok. If she wants to play she asks you.

and you’re doing your child no favours at all in blaming the other kid fully, it’s clear she also argues and sometimes doesn’t behave so insulting the little girl and blaming it all on her isn’t helping your child learn how to behave.

This has got to be a wind up. If it’s not, OP you need to grow some resilience and ensure you teach it to your daughter too. He said no. End of. I once told a child to go away when it kept on trying to engage with me in a restaurant and the parents were not discouraging it. Frankly, it had the desired effect. Did I care if the parents thought I was rude? No.

I am not excusing the dad, he was too abrupt.

But, some people see shouting from one room to another as rude. So shouting across gardens is really going to piss some people off, especially if he is trying to relax in the back garden with his daughter.

And you have already said, his daughter shouts to yours when he is not there. So his daughter probably knows that her dad finds this rude.

Why not go around and knock if DD is desperate to play?

not loving the way you talk about this little girl. How she’s the problem. How the mum agrees. How she’s mean. But aapparently you are not you can just say this stuff, and call the father a prick.

shes there visiting, the girls argue. The father was right.

Stop your child shouting over the fence !
It’s incredibly rude.
I don’t think saying ‘ no ‘ is rude at all , he was being very clear .

If his sister and her children are there, he probably doesn't want an extra child who changes the dynamic and creates fall outs, whoever starts it.
And honestly, if I was spending time with my sister and her family, I wouldn't want another child either.
Was he rude? Yes. Were you rude for allowing your child to try to invite herself over? Also yes.

No wonder children turn into snowflake adults with anxiety/no resilience if the word no is considered upsetting now.

Ok but so what if it his child making the trouble. He hasn’t accused your dd of anything. He just said no.

Your dd could hear her friend so to ask if she was there was a silly question. If dad said no and then laughed he may have been sarcastic (i.e. of course she is there you can hear her.)

Even with the five drip feeds where you aim to make his 'no' more and more fullsome and mean, I still dint think He's a dick. Let it go

This makes no sense. You think the girl causes trouble, and you want to 'cool' the friendship. When her dad does precisely this you call him names?
If my child behaved badly with someone I would not let them play with them again, surely this is good parenting??

Whats wrong with saying no has your child never heard this word before

I think it's fair to say, for whatever reason, he doesn't like your child or doesn't want your child over at his place. Maybe he just doesn't want to deal with the inevitable fall out and it's not his problem if they are at yours.

He doesn't like your kid, so she's very unlikely to be invited when he's there.