DDs friends dad is a Prick

she does say some awful, mean things

So why are YOU not keeping your dd away from the fence when you know she is there? Then you wouldn't have a problem with her or her father.

Id tell him not to speak to your child like that again .
The other child probably has her dad's traits.

Yeah I agree that to me it just seems like your daughter interrupted a father/daughter moment - she could hear them laughing and talking together. Sounds to me that he was just setting a boundary - he wasn’t answering the literal question of ‘are you there’ but the implied question of ‘are you available for me right now’.

Also, it’s not too comfortable shouting blindly over the fence, especially for adults.

Could he have been nicer? Probably, but your daughter could also be taught to read the room, even if the other girl also does it back.

Put it down as a teaching moment and move on.

You didn’t mention any laughing in your Op.
he said no, he’s entitled to. Maybe say no a bit more to your kid and she won’t be so upset hearing it.

So your dd interrupted them spending time together. This on top of all this fighting ? Good that he said no firmly. Sounds like they need time apart

Are there any other things (behaviours or ways he talks/shouts) that give you the impression he's a prick?

This one incident doesn't sound like prick behaviour but there's probably a lot more to why you feel that way? Is the daughter copying the dads behaviour? Is the Dad an arse otherwise?

.....And if he was?

Your making a mountain out of a molehill, he didn’t swear or make a scene, he just said no. Let it go, your child will hear no a million times over the years, you can’t react like this every time.

Aibu? 80% says yes. No I'm not... if anything it's better for you he said no now no more issues of bad behavior since they won't be playing together.

He didn’t have to be mean but he was entitled to say ‘no’

I agree with this. My child is an adult now but next doors kids are constantly shouting or talking over the fence when all I want to do is chill in my garden quietly with a book. I think people forget how annoying their kids can be

No, he's not being nasty. Probably just sick to death of your kid bugging his peace by shouting over the fence, or both of the kids arguing. I used to have a neighbours kid always wanting to be around and shouting over the gate and it's fecking annoying when you just want to potter/sit.

Almost laugh? Surely you either do it or you don’t?

When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house,

You knew this and yet still let your daughter bug them yelling across with Dad there. No was rather polite under the circumstances, considering there was company there and your daughter was interrupting people in a whole other yard.

my Child had a toxic relationship with a neighbour. I was so please when they moved away. They loved to play together but couldn’t be nice! Never had that issue anywhere else! At some points I could face them playing together so lied and said she wasn’t in, when she clearly was. I think you need to tell your child to play with her less.

What a drama over nothing. Is DD a PFB by any chance?

My NDN has young kids who frequently call over the fence to me and my teenage boys (usually whilst bouncing on their trampoline). It’s annoying when I’m trying to just relax outside but I remember what mine were like at that age so I usually let it go. Occasionally, when I’m finding them particularly irritating, I do shut them down (“No, I can’t talk to you now”) or ignore them.

You’ll do your DD a great disservice if you raise her to think everyone has to be nice to her.

I clicked on this thread so ready to agree with you, but in fairness, no he’s not. Not for this anyway.
He’s probably sick of them fighting, he might think she needs downtime by herself, he might want to spend time with her. Regardless it’s doing you a favour and you should discourage your DD asking her to play if she’s so unpleasant!! It’s also rude to shout over the fence.

Surely hes done you a favour then? Keeping this naughty child from you?

🤣 I love this!! Think you’ve got the nail on the head!

But isn’t shouting “no” a joke?

As in, I hear my neighbours chatting and shout “hey Liz, are you there…” and they shout “no!” and laugh because of course they’re there, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to hear them and they wouldn’t be able to answer. That’s the joke.

It’s definitely in the realms of a ‘dad joke’.

And about him not wanting her to play - if he’s not always there maybe he doesn’t see his daughter and/or family much and wants to. He’s taken his DC to play with her cousins, not the neighbourhood kids.

You’re being over dramatic and making a mountain out of a molehill.

I would hate a child shouting over the fence to my family. It would make me feel like we were constantly being monitored in our garden. Add to that there’s a difficult dynamic between the 2 children, I don’t blame him for attempting a “NO” that will get your kid to back off a bit and give them some privacy in their own garden.

Neither child should be allowed to disturb the other family through the hedge/over the fence