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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DDs friends dad is a Prick

208 replies

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:09

Dd has a friend on the road who comes to stay regularly with her cousins and play, Dd plays with her but they have a love-hate relationship really. She’s the only child Ive seen Dd argue with, I’ve tried to cool things between them, but they still love to play together a lot of the times.
This friend often calls over the fence to Dd and vice versa to play. When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house, even though this child is the issue/hard work and the mum agrees, but she’s just a child
The other day, Dd heard her playing in the garden and called to ask if she was there and her dad loudly shouted back ‘No!’ and it all went quiet. Dd came inside a bit confused/upset

Was this a mean thing for him to do? What would you do?

OP posts:
Weekmindedfool · 19/06/2026 07:47

Another thread where the OP refuses to accept she might be wrong and over reacting despite overwhelming opinions saying so.

Flamingojune · 19/06/2026 07:42

He does sound like a bit of an angry git. Let the kids enjoy their childhood

ASimpleLampoon · 19/06/2026 06:00

Kids shouting over the fence is annoying. Teach them to knock the door and not disturb people.

EvieBB · 19/06/2026 05:33

ThatBlackCat · 19/06/2026 03:37

YANBU OP (and I don't know what on earth the fuck is wrong with those who are attacking you), I suggest you speak to the mother about why the father is like that.

Agreed!

TheseWordsAreMine · 19/06/2026 03:48

Who knows from your post. Who knows?

None of us that's for sure.

Ask yourself.

ThatBlackCat · 19/06/2026 03:37

YANBU OP (and I don't know what on earth the fuck is wrong with those who are attacking you), I suggest you speak to the mother about why the father is like that.

JMSA · 19/06/2026 02:35

I think the (slight) issue is that he said ‘no’ rather than explain to your daughter that it wasn’t a good time to play, or that they should have a break because of the squabbling. And yes, that’s a bit mean.

TheJuicyLucy · 19/06/2026 02:30

Saying 'no' to an irritating child does not make someone a prick.

steff13 · 19/06/2026 01:13

EvieBB · 18/06/2026 01:28

Yeah, he's a prick.
I would confront the dad!

Ooh, yes, OP, do this! And record it for us.

steff13 · 19/06/2026 01:10

Nomura · 17/06/2026 18:27

.....And if he was?

Then it's off to the gallows with him.

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 19/06/2026 00:41

Hildegard25 · 18/06/2026 14:15

It seems to me you do not want to hear people's truthful opinions.
You just want validation that your opinion is the one and only acceptable point of view.
You now clearly know that it is not.

😂

OP posts:
Roadislikeabuildingsite · 19/06/2026 00:41

SALaw · 18/06/2026 14:01

How do you know how it was said?! You weren’t there? Your daughter told you but it sounds like she’s quite young so can easily misinterpret tone?

I was in the garden at the door!

OP posts:
Hildegard25 · 18/06/2026 14:15

It seems to me you do not want to hear people's truthful opinions.
You just want validation that your opinion is the one and only acceptable point of view.
You now clearly know that it is not.

SALaw · 18/06/2026 14:01

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:48

No intentional drip feed, trying to explain how this was done, it wasn’t a clear no we’re not playing today, which is absolutely fine, it was a No as in a lie that they’re not there, when she knew they were, it was bitchy

How do you know how it was said?! You weren’t there? Your daughter told you but it sounds like she’s quite young so can easily misinterpret tone?

SALaw · 18/06/2026 13:54

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:13

So it’s not mean to shout No then almost laugh when Dd heard her and knew she was there

First it went quiet. Now he laughed.

ihavetocookagain · 18/06/2026 09:42

Haven’t rtft fully and just to be devils advocate. My now grown up kids have all had a variety of friends, some I liked some I didn’t, also my kids can be dicks also. Are you sure your daughter is the nice one and the other girl is the one causing problems? My friends son used to think he was liked by everyone because there were no arguments, and in actually fact, the other kids just used to go along with what he said to keep the peace. Child was spoilt and could do no wrong in his mother’s eyes. Only when they got older did they start saying no to him because they didn’t want to be bossed around all the time, and suddenly to her, everyone else’s kids were the problem. Judging how you have answered ppl in this thread, I’d not be surprised if that is what happens, the apple falling not far from the tree and all.

Mere1 · 18/06/2026 07:23

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:16

I have too, but he’s rarely there to know any of it and it’s his child making trouble

It’s also still his child and he can make decisions. Maybe he shouldn’t have laughed. It’s tricky when children are just shouting over fences and ‘interrupting’ or just turn up at the door. Accept this behaviour isn’t always welcome.

EvieBB · 18/06/2026 01:28

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:09

Dd has a friend on the road who comes to stay regularly with her cousins and play, Dd plays with her but they have a love-hate relationship really. She’s the only child Ive seen Dd argue with, I’ve tried to cool things between them, but they still love to play together a lot of the times.
This friend often calls over the fence to Dd and vice versa to play. When friends dad is there, her friend isn’t allowed to our house, even though this child is the issue/hard work and the mum agrees, but she’s just a child
The other day, Dd heard her playing in the garden and called to ask if she was there and her dad loudly shouted back ‘No!’ and it all went quiet. Dd came inside a bit confused/upset

Was this a mean thing for him to do? What would you do?

Yeah, he's a prick.
I would confront the dad!

Frillysweetpea · 17/06/2026 23:14

Roadislikeabuildingsite · 16/06/2026 11:13

So it’s not mean to shout No then almost laugh when Dd heard her and knew she was there

Drip feed....

MNLurker1345 · 17/06/2026 21:55

Why do people expend so much energy on speculating how people behave and what they should’ve, could’ve, would’ve done.

People do what they do, good, bad, ugly and everything in between.

I consider myself a nice, caring person. But I totally get that all sorts of people exist and I just try my hardest to steer clear and live a life of peace.

DDs friends dad is a prick and so be it. Don’t take it personally and protect your DD from such people. He most probably thinks the same about you. Who's right and who’s wrong?

Bleachedjeans · 17/06/2026 21:46

YANBU. The child’s father is undoubtedly a childish prick. I don’t know how anyone could think otherwise.

TheOldWorldIsDyingTheNewWorldStrugglesToBeBorn · 17/06/2026 21:39

With peace and love OP, I think you may be a little over invested in your DD’s relationship with this child. Your DC will meet adults who are less than charming and a bit brusque. I would take it as an opportunity to help her build some resilience and take a neutral stance.
“Oh well, never mind. She can’t play today. Let’s do something else”. You don’t want you DC seeing herself as a victim or stereotyping the Dad next door. Play it down, ignore it and don’t escalate it or let it get to you.

worldshottestmom · 17/06/2026 20:08

Shouting at your dd is one thing, laughing about it right after is another. It shows that it wasn't a snap in temper, which would have been bad enough, but rather deliberate.

He sounds nasty, regardless of if he is fed up of the fighting or not. It's not nice to keep them separate, but honestly I would keep my DD away from this girl if only to stay away from the dad. It doesn't sound like they get along great anyway, and I'd bet it's because this girl is being raised by an angry, snappy man and will therefore take on this behaviour.

WittyTaupeLion · 17/06/2026 20:04

Happened again when I moved three kids next door always wanted to play. Mine went to there’s once. Often it’s a break for parents . If you dont like family put a trellis on the fence.

WittyTaupeLion · 17/06/2026 20:02

My child had a friend next door also in class. Friend asked everyday to play . Her mum never said no you can’t so I ended up often letting her in. She was hard work and my child didn’t get on that well. On reflection it’s up to you to decide! Your child! My child was hardly ever asked back to there’s and I was a cheap babysitter I guess!