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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex wants me to lie to DS

190 replies

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:22

DS has broken his phone screen and it’s £200 to fix it. Ex and I have agreed that we will go 50/50 to pay for it to be fixed. Ex will take the phone in and I’ll send him the money.

Ex has said not to tell DS he’s paying me half towards it as DS wouldn’t like that his Dad is giving me money. So ex wants to lie to DS and say I paid the whole amount.

AIBU to be uncomfortable about lying to DS and should I either pay the whole amount or tell DS it is from us both?

OP posts:
CastleCrasher · 16/06/2026 10:36

If your son thinks that you are solely responsible for his costs and that its unfair that his dad contributes, you need to area this. Is that messaging coming from his dad? If not, where? And if it is his dad, then why the subterfuge? The cynic in me would worry that this is a set up to discredit you to your DS, have you "claim credit" and then his dad proves to him that you "lied" . I very much hope I'm wrong.

Lomonald · 16/06/2026 10:33

Tbh I would refuse to have the phone fixed if that is the attitude,

WaltzingWaters · 16/06/2026 10:32

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:29

He’s heavily enmeshed/loyalty binded with his Dad and doesn’t like to think of his dad “helping” me out in any way.

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He isn’t helping you out. He’s helping his son out - the one who has broken his phone and wants it fixed. Maybe DS should be paying for it himself (in whatever form suits his age) if he has such an opinion on the matter.

Lomonald · 16/06/2026 10:32

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:29

He’s heavily enmeshed/loyalty binded with his Dad and doesn’t like to think of his dad “helping” me out in any way.

Show quote history

But it is helping your son out does your son think you should bring him up alone does he not think his dad should contribute to his upbringing? That is really worrying what age is your son?

Whyherewego · 16/06/2026 10:31

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:29

He’s heavily enmeshed/loyalty binded with his Dad and doesn’t like to think of his dad “helping” me out in any way.

Show quote history

But it's not helping you. It is helping DS? V confused !!

coulditbeme2323 · 16/06/2026 10:31

How old is your son?

grumpygrape · 16/06/2026 10:30

Isn't it covered by anyone's insurance?
I'd be making sure ex isn't claiming, and DS knows that so knows his father would be scamming OP for half the cost. But then I have a suspicious mind 😉

CastleCrasher · 16/06/2026 10:30

But your ex isn't helping you. He's helping his son.

Original poster
Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:29

WannabeMathematician · 16/06/2026 10:25

Why wouldn’t DS like it?

He’s heavily enmeshed/loyalty binded with his Dad and doesn’t like to think of his dad “helping” me out in any way.

OP posts:
CastleCrasher · 16/06/2026 10:29

This makes no sense, why on earth would a child know or care how the bill is split?

Definitely do not lie about it. Either don't give DS details, or tell the truth.

Lomonald · 16/06/2026 10:29

Your ex sounds manipulative, tell your son you have gone halves on the repair, so it isn't framed how your ex wants it.

What a weird thing to say what else has he said to your son about you and money ?

coulditbeme2323 · 16/06/2026 10:27

SO
MANY
QUESTIONS

MeAndMyGhost · 16/06/2026 10:25

Why would DS have views about your money situation?!

No need to lie, just say it's getting fixed and drop the conversation if he wants details. He should be happy his phone is getting fixed.

WaltzingWaters · 16/06/2026 10:25

I think more context is needed as to why it would upset your DS really.

WannabeMathematician · 16/06/2026 10:25

Why wouldn’t DS like it?

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