Page 7 | Ex wants me to lie to DS

Magpiesinthegarden · 2026-06-16T09:22:55+00:00

DS has broken his phone screen and it’s £200 to fix it. Ex and I have agreed that we will go 50/50 to pay for it to be fixed. Ex will take the phone in and I’ll send him the money. Ex has said not to tell DS he’s paying me half towards it as DS wouldn’t like that his Dad is giving me money. So ex wants to lie to DS and say I paid the whole amount. AIBU to be uncomfortable about lying to DS and should I either pay the whole amount or tell DS it is from us both?

Eideann · 16/06/2026 11:05

BinNightTonight · 16/06/2026 10:59

What is his dad like? Offering to pay half for the screen, sending you money for a meal out on your holiday etc, make him sound quite reasonable? But I know thats just a snapshot!

You may have missed this @BinNightTonight

"It’s happened before, ex gave me money (bank transfer) for a meal for the two of us on a holiday and said DO NOT tell DS I’ve given you anything as he would be very angry. He then listed the money as child maintenance"

VIII · 16/06/2026 11:05

I agree with the previous poster that your son would probably benefit more from therapy. He is being given very problematic messages from both sides.

Error404FucksNotFound · 16/06/2026 11:03

So your ex is asking for you to help him continue to poison your son against you and push a particular narrative?

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 16/06/2026 11:02

Do not lie, your ex is obviously has some weird misogynist mind games he's grooming your child with, do not play into his hands. Your child deserves to know the truth since obviously your ex is already grooming him into hating you why would you help.

He's a disgusting pig, is there anyway you can get some intervention for your son, it sounds like he's leading him down a very disturbing path. 😔

Panchero · 16/06/2026 11:02

CastleCrasher · 16/06/2026 10:36

If your son thinks that you are solely responsible for his costs and that its unfair that his dad contributes, you need to area this. Is that messaging coming from his dad? If not, where? And if it is his dad, then why the subterfuge? The cynic in me would worry that this is a set up to discredit you to your DS, have you "claim credit" and then his dad proves to him that you "lied" . I very much hope I'm wrong.

Completely agree with this, I would be very very very wary that he is setting you up, and this would be an easily provable lie when he shows him the transfer of money.

BinNightTonight · 16/06/2026 10:59

What is his dad like? Offering to pay half for the screen, sending you money for a meal out on your holiday etc, make him sound quite reasonable? But I know thats just a snapshot!

BinNightTonight · 16/06/2026 10:58

This is so odd and a little (very) uncomfortable to think about his possible views of women, finances etc as he grows up?!

kittensinthekitchen · 16/06/2026 10:57

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:55

He’s 14 and lives with his Dad now. Long story but there’s alienation and enmeshment with Dad, he would despise the idea of his Dad helping me in any way. His dad pleads poverty to DS (he earns 4 times more than I do!) He regularly tells DS how poor he is now because I left him. DS is strongly binded to his Dad.

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I don't understand though, if your ex is that manipulative, why doesn't he either 'save the day' by covering the whole cost, or decline to contribute?

YouputthetwatinKathleen · 16/06/2026 10:55

Maybe your DS should pay to fix his own phone screen that he broke if he has such strong opinions on your finances. He sounds like he has a little too much opinion/sway/control on the matter for a child.

Original poster

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:55

HumberSquid · 16/06/2026 10:42

Who does your ds live with? How old is he?

He’s 14 and lives with his Dad now. Long story but there’s alienation and enmeshment with Dad, he would despise the idea of his Dad helping me in any way. His dad pleads poverty to DS (he earns 4 times more than I do!) He regularly tells DS how poor he is now because I left him. DS is strongly binded to his Dad.

OP posts:

Lomonald · 16/06/2026 10:51

What are you going to do @Magpiesinthegarden have you decided?

ShrinkyDinkyPetal · 16/06/2026 10:50

This is so weird, are you trying to raise a misogynist?

ProfessorRedshoeblueshoe · 16/06/2026 10:49

I was just about to suggest you don't pay anything, use the money for counselling for your DS

Fupoffyagrasshole · 16/06/2026 10:48

That’s so weird op

id just say I’m not paying for it then fuck that

also 200£ for a screen??

my iPhone was only 200£ as I bought an older refurb - that much on a screen is insane

VIII · 16/06/2026 10:48

None of this makes any sense?

Least of all the fact the screen replacement is costing more than many phones.

Snufkin88 · 16/06/2026 10:47

This is so ludicrous and immature and just wrong to be honest . It doesn’t even make sense

Larrythecatforpm · 16/06/2026 10:47

Why is your son behaving so weirdly? this isn’t normal, take him to a therapist.

coulditbeme2323 · 16/06/2026 10:47

Idontjetwashthefucker · 16/06/2026 10:45

Your son is behaving very strangely here, why would he be angry at his dad paying his way?

Edited

Nothing about it makes sense.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 16/06/2026 10:45

Your son is behaving very strangely here, why would he be angry at his dad paying his way?

Whyherewego · 16/06/2026 10:44

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:41

Exactly! This is one of my worries! So I am in charge of paying for his phone contract, any upgrades etc so DS might see it as my responsibility to pay for the screen. But his dad wanting to hide his contribution makes me uncomfortable. It’s happened before, ex gave me money (bank transfer) for a meal for the two of us on a holiday and said DO NOT tell DS I’ve given you anything as he would be very angry. He then listed the money as child maintenance 🙈

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This is all very odd. Does anyone need to saying anything to DS? Ex is taking it in to be repaired you said. There's no need to say anything specifically about your contribution?

HumberSquid · 16/06/2026 10:42

Who does your ds live with? How old is he?

Greatblue · 16/06/2026 10:41

I don’t understand OP.

I thought you were going to say he’d fallen out with his dad and wouldn’t accept his money or something like that.

I don’t understand why he wouldn’t accept his money out of loyalty bonding.
Does he think his dad can’t afford it, but that you can?

Can you explain further please? Hard to advise when we don’t understand the situation. In general lying isn’t a good idea though. Also, what age is your son?

Original poster

Magpiesinthegarden · 16/06/2026 10:41

CastleCrasher · 16/06/2026 10:36

If your son thinks that you are solely responsible for his costs and that its unfair that his dad contributes, you need to area this. Is that messaging coming from his dad? If not, where? And if it is his dad, then why the subterfuge? The cynic in me would worry that this is a set up to discredit you to your DS, have you "claim credit" and then his dad proves to him that you "lied" . I very much hope I'm wrong.

Exactly! This is one of my worries! So I am in charge of paying for his phone contract, any upgrades etc so DS might see it as my responsibility to pay for the screen. But his dad wanting to hide his contribution makes me uncomfortable. It’s happened before, ex gave me money (bank transfer) for a meal for the two of us on a holiday and said DO NOT tell DS I’ve given you anything as he would be very angry. He then listed the money as child maintenance 🙈

OP posts:

CamilleBeauchamp · 16/06/2026 10:40

Lying about this is going to be sooo much more complicated than just telling the truth...

NoKnit · 16/06/2026 10:39

£200 to fix a phone screen?
Can't he just use it broken?
How much is the phone worth and how old is your son?
I'd personally replace with a cheaper refurbished phone costing less than that and sell the broken one (which must be worth something if it is £200 to fix) and put towards cost of it.