Ex wants me to lie to DS

My question is Why so much for a screen replacement? I've had a couple of iPhones that had screens replaced and cost less than a hundred. Are you sure it's costing that much.
I'd take the kid and phone to the repair shop with me and get it done. Stop playing your Ex's stupid games.

Plus pleading poverty means ex doesn't have to shell out for other things DS might reasonably have asked for.

If ex suddenly magically has money for the phone, that could raise awkward questions.

He's an asshole. Pleading poverty while scapegoating you. FFS

I can see why you left him.

Is DS even going to ask who paid? Just say "here's your phone".

So his dad is enabling the minimizing of 'you' as his mother and acting like he's the Big Hero Dad with your mutual child.

He is actively downplaying your importance/role in your own child's life to make himself look better. At your expense. Literally, in this case.

Fuck that.

Oh I have a manipulative family member who regularly pleads poverty (usual story, they're richer than all of us), so this makes sense to me.

For my family member it's part of their schtick that they're perpetually martyred and hard-done-by. Plus they're naturally very tight.

So pretending they can't afford something they can in fact easily afford, and at the same time using it to claim victimisation by their enemy, is totally normal for them.

Don’t pander to this nonsense OP.

This is fucking weird. Do not lie.

This feels like a trap. You go tell your son you've paid for his phone repair all by yourself, then he can show the son that he actually paid for half of it. Then can make you out to be a liar

Seriously? That's mental. UK teenagers are watching live streams of US divorce and custody hearings and then getting misogynistic ideas from it?!

This is all completely mental.

OP your ex shouldn't be asking you to lie. You and your ex need to sit down with your son and explain why you got divorced and the financial situation. And your ex needs to back you up. Unless you have done something dreadful to your ex financially of course!

And who's manipulated him into that? 100% be telling your son the truth because your ex can use this against you in the future see mum didn't even tell you I payed for the phone screen.

He's not helping you out, he's helping DS. Some muddled thinking going on here.

WTF?

He's not helping you he's helping his son.

I wouldn't be surprised if he gets you to tell him you paid for all of it and then tells him he paid half to make you look like a liar.

And your son is 14, he needs to be told that adult finances are none of his business and you will not be discussing them with him.

Too many mind games.

Why can't you and ex pay for the phone screen to be fixed and just to say DS 'here's your phone, it's fixed, please take better care of it' and leave it at that.

If DS follows up with 'who paid for it?' be honest. Ex and I both paid for it as it's too expensive to justfy either paying for it themselves. Any issues with this get a weekend job and feel free to pay dad and I back.

But it's not helping you. It's helping the kid?!

It's not your responsibility to fix the phone. It's both parents responsibility. Tell him you're not doing him a favour and you never would so no need to lie or concoct some shite to enable generational misogyny.

Parents pay half each for the kid they created. If your child or your ex don't know that now then gawd help everyone.

Social media is awash with channel dedicated to posting divorce and child custody hearings that are live streamed (USA). They post ones that would have you believe the women are out to make money from divorce and punish men by ruining their relationship with their children.

The thing is, when you understand the landscape, you see that hardly any of these women have lawyers whilst the men do. The women present their cases poorly, because they imagine their stories will be understood at face value. Legal hearings, however, explore only some elements of the full picture and experienced lawyers control what is/ isn’t covered.

If the OP’s algorithm is serving up this content - and there’s no shortage of it - this would explain his sentiment

Ridiculous, I’d make sure he knows exactly who is paying for it on principle because your ex is such a twat.

Also you can pretty much buy a new phone for £200. Are you sure he’s not just pocketing that money? 🙄

DS doesn’t get a vote. Tough luck. If he thinks a phone screen will put his dad into hardship, perhaps DS might take better care of his phone next time.

Why are you paying anything?

(P.S. It's about £50 for a phone screen replacement round my way!)

Just get the phone sorted, no conversation how!

Why can’t his dad just pay for the whole thing? Why do you need to pay half

Obviously the ins and outs of why he lives with his dad is not our business, but at 14, but you don't have to play into his dads abuse of you and him, you can say we are going halves your dad has enough money to pay for a broken screen,

How did this come about?
Why would you engage with this madness, especially to the point of paying the entire £200?

I was afraid it was something like this. I think the worst thing you could do is lie, it puts your further in his father's power. Give your ds your contribution for his phone and let him either earn the rest or ask his father.