To not like suggesting meet ups in group WhatsApp?

Sounds like hard work. I'd probably say I'm leaving the group chat if anyone wants to meet up sometime feel free to message.
I'm in a group chat with some women but we meet up (for meals mainly) I'd leave the chat if they didn't bother. It's mainly 3 of us who suggest meeting but we're the most outgoing. Plus some of my friends often come too. We all get on well. I feel lucky to have these women in my life.
I don't know why but people have become so unsociable? People blame covid but surely it can't just be that? I know the cost of living doesn't help. But people can go for a walk and take a flask. There's so many ways to meet up for free or cheap.
Tearing people away from their big tvs seems such a chore.

@summerstarts I hope you have other friends in your life. If not maybe start trying to find some? There's a lot of social groups on Facebook and of course meet up.

So do you meet up when other people suggest it, does it feel like it’s only
you they say no to?
I also wonder if last minute plans (aka cinema on Sunday) don’t work well for that group and things need to be planned a few weeks in advance?

Yes one moved away and everyone works now. So meetups are rare. Then dates dont suit. It fizzles out.

I have a WhatsApp friendship group now where we never meet up but the group has become its own online entity and suits us fine. Maybe that’s what this has become. I like it, all the jokes and support without having to meet

I know, sometimes the dynamics change when another child arrives or they all start the same school together. Can you try to meet a new group of mums via your younger one? Playgroup? There are often local mums’ buggy walks/coffees advertised on Facebook and Meetups that might be worth looking into as those are specifically about connecting mums, rather than entertaining the kids?

I’ve had a few Facebook memories recently of photos of me out with my baby group friends from ten-ish years ago. At that point we’d known each other for about 6 years. Out of the ten or so in the group, I count one as one of my closest friends. The other I never see. Some moved away, some just drifted. But if you told me ten years ago that we wouldn’t still be firm friends now, I wouldn’t have believed you.

It does make me sad but at the same time it’s just what happens. I think it’s tricky when you reach the point of knowing it’s drifting but not really bring sure how to manage it.

Op I stopped the group things as nobody else wanted to plan it.. 5 us. Now I just meet one for coffee. Some mams back working and not as free. Was pain in a* planning the last one so its drifted off. Think Im better in smaller meetups

I’ve been through 3 of the mum groups. The first fizzled out during reception year. The kids developed their own friendships, parents were back at work. But some people did make close friendships with one or two people from the group that lasted after the group. I was shocked though as i thought the group was solid. i came away with no friendships.

Second time it drifted around nursery age but I made a good friend from the group who i stayed close to for around 15 years .

i realised by the third group that the group rarely survives long term so the way to keep friendships was to make friends with a couple of people independently of the group. I have two friendships from that group which have been strong for around 10 years. That group again drifted around reception.

Doesnt seem as if they are into it so I’d stop suggesting.
I guess you just have to figure out the dynamics of any group. We had a regular coffee morning after drop off starting when my kids were in primary. 8.30 so even those with jobs could come for a quick coffee on occasion. Years pass and eventually at 16 some kids left the school, and more importantly MY kid left the school and the coffee mornings started to get more sporadic. I then moved away but came back every month or so and always suggested a meet up. Everyone enjoyed it and always asked themselves why didn’t they do it more regularly? So now they are back on a weekly schedule, no pressure some weeks everyone is busy and some of them only show up every six months or so, but they had to get over the ‘we meet up because our kids are at school together’ (most of the kids weren’t even friends with each other) to ‘we meet up because we enjoy each others company’. Now all our kids are early 20s, and so we all have long histories which makes it even more special that we are still in touch.

I was in a whatsapp group. I asked them all to an event i had free tickets to. They all declined.
Now i only engage in these groups for info about in person meet ups.
Is there anyone in particular you want to remain in touch with.
I understand op this stuff nakes me sad too.

Start with ‘who’s up for a meeting soon’? and then text the people who’ve responded ‘yes’ to discuss a suitable date and to discuss what to do? Some groups I’m in also do polls, eg ‘Reunion meeting - select the dates that would work for you’, then offer a few dates and a ‘not this time’ option.

Not sure why it is a shame that this friendship group should fizzle out - they sound awful OP

Few antenatal groups keep going after children start school.
Ours met 1-2 times a week in first year, then when mums returned to work it was mainly birthdays and a few mums/dads nights out. Now we only keep in contact with 1 family, who we see regularly and are close too.

I think once kids start school especially if at different schools they naturally develop their own new friendships.

We had a first time mum group and three/four of us were all quite close. They all attended each others birthdays in reception and year one but then after that we only saw each other a handful of times after they started school. I will be forever grateful for their friendships and look back on early days fondly. We haven’t fallen out and will still chat if we met up accidentally and would ask after each others kids (but that was it really). Kids are now in early 20’s.

Maybe let someone else initiate the meet ups going forward, look to other friendships for you and your DC and maybe come to terms with the fact that its just one of those things and the friendships may have naturally fizzled out.

If you're meeting up with the children sometimes and without them 2-3 times a year, who is initiating those meetups?

I think it seems rude if people say we can't as meeting a school friend and then keep saying it, hence the more casual response.

It sounds like you are more invested in meeting than the others. Maybe redirect your energy to other friendships.

As the saying goes, people enter our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime.

Some friendships aren’t going to last, and that’s normal.

To be fair in most antenatal groups people don't gel and socialise with all of the mums so meeting up 1-1 would be more usual. Also as the children get older they have their own school friends and activities so time is more limited. Have you suggested catching up 1-1 or just saying we're off to X park this weekend if you fancy an impromptu catch up.

I'm curious as to what you're suggesting though given their reposes.

Sounds like they kind of haven’t let go enough to actually leave the group (as in they don’t mind a bit of gossip via WhatsApp) but aren’t interested in real life friendships now. It happens - I have found that the vast majority of acquaintances you describe as friendships are only really in that situation eg change school, change address, marital breakdown, return to work or simply kids are older and they break down. I’ve moved a lot due to ex’s work and found you rarely keep in touch beyond a little Facebook banter once you move, despite the whole leaving party/tears/ must keep in touch /even a lovely gift one time from a friendship group … friends are circumstantial so often, they don’t mean it badly it’s just out of sight out of mind.