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Why do people want teens on social media??

283 replies

theprincessthepea · 16/06/2026 00:11

I have a teen.

Today I told her that by the time the ban comes into affect when she is 16, it won’t make a difference to her life. But it will affect my toddler, and I’m happy that he will be growing up during a time where social media will be banned for children and young teens.

What I realised is that there are so many parents against the ban.

I see it every day. I was the last parent (out of my DDs friendship group of 6 girls) to give her a smart phone and allow her on social media - mainly because I was aware of what it’s like, and I witnessed my friend abuse MSN and Bebo back in the day and end up with older guys and pervs - that’s another story. But I remember a parent (DDs friends mum) telling me “I’ve set up a Snapchat for my daughter” (there were in year 5).
I asked her “why”
she said “I was told it’s good for them to socialise”

WTF!? AIBU for thinking that a lot of the work will go into convincing the public and parents that social media is bad. Just like we had to convince the public that smoking is bad.

If the amount of exploitation, low self esteem, online bullying, literally having an online account that is borderline only fans when you are a minor, whilst mum and dad think you study and love school (me and my daughter are super open about socials, she might have an account I don’t know about - but this is the point - us parents don’t get to protect our kids when they are in a virtual world that could be harmful).

Anyways that’s my rant. I’m all for the ban. Good luck with them implementing it. But I think we will be in a better place 10 years later (if the multiple crisis don’t get to us first).

Im also all for educational videos - but I don’t think this falls under this. As I do tell my DD to find an appropriate video when she’s stuck for revision.

OP posts:
EasternStandard · 17/06/2026 08:07

Gettingaggy · 17/06/2026 06:38

9/10 adults who responded to the survey said they wanted a full ban. Surely it would have been remiss off the government to ignore that and not implement one?

It depends what is imposed on adults to achieve it. As people will push back on that if it’s too onerous.

A few posts saying it’s only in app facial recognition and others that it’s passport linked or digital ID.

Bluehouse14 · 17/06/2026 08:05

I dont agree the ban is a state overreach. It's a public health issue. The state has for a very long time imposed bans for things that are unsafe for our physical health, so what's the difference here? I am so grateful for the ban. People requesting that it should be a safer place online rather than an outright ban can't possibly see how that can actually be a acheived?! A ban is the easiest, most effective way of handling what is a crisis.

Gettingaggy · 17/06/2026 08:04

hay5689 · 17/06/2026 07:58

Yes because the government always listens to what the people want.

Well they have in this case!

hay5689 · 17/06/2026 07:58

Gettingaggy · 17/06/2026 06:38

9/10 adults who responded to the survey said they wanted a full ban. Surely it would have been remiss off the government to ignore that and not implement one?

Yes because the government always listens to what the people want.

Honeyhonay · 17/06/2026 06:41

hay5689 · 17/06/2026 05:03

The government are not doing this because they care about our children. If you think that I suggest you read the rape gang enquiry report and see how the children who were being cared for by the authorities were treated. It’s a way to implement digital ID, nothing else matters to this government and certainly not your children’s welfare.

Given the UK model is going to be based on the Aus model which is currently enforced and does not require a digital ID, nor do the current porn age verification requirements which are in place in the UK there’s literally nothing to suggest it’s about bringing in a digital ID.
These same age checks are currently in place for other platforms, it’s just being expanded to social media.

Gettingaggy · 17/06/2026 06:38

hay5689 · 17/06/2026 05:03

The government are not doing this because they care about our children. If you think that I suggest you read the rape gang enquiry report and see how the children who were being cared for by the authorities were treated. It’s a way to implement digital ID, nothing else matters to this government and certainly not your children’s welfare.

9/10 adults who responded to the survey said they wanted a full ban. Surely it would have been remiss off the government to ignore that and not implement one?

hay5689 · 17/06/2026 05:03

The government are not doing this because they care about our children. If you think that I suggest you read the rape gang enquiry report and see how the children who were being cared for by the authorities were treated. It’s a way to implement digital ID, nothing else matters to this government and certainly not your children’s welfare.

Kerry242 · 17/06/2026 03:20

I don't think it's state over reach. The goverment did actually consult the public - every single one of us was free to fill that consultation with our responses and thoughts.

Labour collected the data and then implemented what the majority of people wanted from that data.

9 in 10 people who responded to the survey wanted a full ban. The survey ran for 2 months and took about 15 mins to complete.

14,000 respondants were children themselves aged 10-21yrs and they wanted tighter controls.

news.sky.com/story/majority-of-young-people-want-better-online-protections-according-to-results-of-major-government-consultation-13553641

I can't really see how the government could have done it any fairer or more transparently

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 17/06/2026 02:40

theprincessthepea · 16/06/2026 23:44

It’s not that people can’t parent. It’s that tech companies aren’t protecting people.

Although this is aimed at teens I know many adults who are mentally screwed because of their relationship with social media. And I hear even crazier stories of adults that are lured into doing dumb things abroad.

Im lucky to have a smart kid, but what if it’s not my parenting, what if my child is just a sensitive soul.

But I’ve noticed no one cares about the next generation. Just don’t complain about their low attention span when you have to hire a bunch of them and they can do anything right (supposedly).

Although this is aimed at teens I know many adults who are mentally screwed because of their relationship with social media. And I hear even crazier stories of adults that are lured into doing dumb things abroad.

People need to take responsibility for themselves. I don’t want have to provide ID because some people are dumb. They’ll still be dumb.

theprincessthepea · 17/06/2026 00:16

ApplebyArrows · 16/06/2026 11:10

Most people who are parents of teens now will not be old enough to have had access to social media when they themselves were under 16. This can lead in some cases to an ignorance of the dangers. (Though in other cases it probably leads people to see SM as more dangerous than it really is.)

And there have always been parents who think children should be treated just like adults. Showing 18 certificates to their 8-year-olds etc. Ironically such adults are probably themselves rather immature and childish.

This is a very good point. I’m a millennial that lived both worlds and I have a teen.

I see the good in social media too - more connection, people making money on it.

I have found this report on GenZs parenting style fascinating.

I think being hyper aware maybe means it’s easier to put yourself in your child’s shoes - https://www.vicemediagroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Gen-Z-Parents-Global-Report_FINAL.pdf

Also what a lot of people don’t realise is that our brains can’t differentiate between an emotion or feeling triggered by real life or online.

https://www.vicemediagroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Gen-Z-Parents-Global-Report_FINAL.pdf

OP posts:
theprincessthepea · 16/06/2026 23:58

Givemeachaitealatte · 16/06/2026 11:41

Get the companies to actually do something about their algorithms, inappropriate content, perverts, radicalisation. It isn't going to be solved by banning teenagers.

I don't allow social media for my children so it isn't going to impact them but it's just putting a plaster over a deep wound. We need to hold these companies to account. We have the technology to do so they just don't want to.

It’s sad but I feel like people have been screaming at the tech companies to do something.

They are doing nothing.

So the law has to step in. I do wonder why they can’t just have a law against the tech companies instead, but as we know they just pay their way out of everything.

OP posts:
OohOohOohAhh · 16/06/2026 23:54

While I agree that it’s a state over reach, I wish this could have been done earlier. As it stands my DD will be 15 when it kicks in. If we could have avoided the severe bullying she received for two years daily in secondary school, multiple girls telling her to kill herself daily then much trauma could have been avoided. But that was via WhatsApp, which isn’t going to be affected. I do really hope this saves many kids who would be faced with the same. Some kids just join the class or year WhatsApp and are ruined by the things that are said. They’ve done nothing wrong. These vile teens just want a target. It’s too late for us but I hope it won’t be with this now for kids in future.

theprincessthepea · 16/06/2026 23:52

Cel77 · 16/06/2026 22:56

Social media are known to increase all sorts of mental health issues in teenagers (and probably afults too tbh!). It has killed teenagers too ( some commiting suicide after being bullied or traumatised online. some being murdered). It makes sexual exploitation way too easy. In short, there's nothing good about it. Like there's nothing good in cigarettes either. The government is phasing out the sale of cigarettes so my children won't ever be able to poison their lungs with them. I'm very happy about it. It's much bigger than just "parenting ". It's an epidemic in our society. I'm actually very shocked at reading how people think it's a 'nanny state" sort of issue. It's our kids' well being and happiness at play. All of our kids.

I agree with you.

I must add that other people poorly parenting their children can affect your own children. That is why it always takes a village.

As much as we are an individualist society, we all are affected by one another.

I guess if so many parents are happy with social media just because their own children “are not impacted” - which I’m sure they are, then this shows even more reason for the ban in my mind because there really is no hope if people can’t see that social media is destroying a whole generation.

I’ll add, my teen uses social media, she’s a bright girl too and has her head screwed on, but when I tell her about my teen years she says “it sounds like you guys had way more fun”. They are slaves to a screen, even those that seem to be able to “work with it” or that are enjoying filming tik tok dances everyday.

Doom scrolling isn’t living.

OP posts:
theprincessthepea · 16/06/2026 23:44

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 16/06/2026 04:50

Because why should I have to provide ID because some people can’t parent?

It’s not that people can’t parent. It’s that tech companies aren’t protecting people.

Although this is aimed at teens I know many adults who are mentally screwed because of their relationship with social media. And I hear even crazier stories of adults that are lured into doing dumb things abroad.

Im lucky to have a smart kid, but what if it’s not my parenting, what if my child is just a sensitive soul.

But I’ve noticed no one cares about the next generation. Just don’t complain about their low attention span when you have to hire a bunch of them and they can do anything right (supposedly).

OP posts:
Cel77 · 16/06/2026 22:56

Givemeachaitealatte · 16/06/2026 00:26

I agree with you but I still voted YABU as I think it's state over reach to start being involved in parenting our children. I won't allow social media, but what others do with their children is their choice.

I also disagree that banning teenagers from social media is the answer. The world has changed since we were young and there is no going back, it's how they communicate, have fun, and interact. How about we hold these companies to account for all the perverts and addictive nature of their apps. It's obscene how they get away with lack of safety and accountability.

Social media are known to increase all sorts of mental health issues in teenagers (and probably afults too tbh!). It has killed teenagers too ( some commiting suicide after being bullied or traumatised online. some being murdered). It makes sexual exploitation way too easy. In short, there's nothing good about it. Like there's nothing good in cigarettes either. The government is phasing out the sale of cigarettes so my children won't ever be able to poison their lungs with them. I'm very happy about it. It's much bigger than just "parenting ". It's an epidemic in our society. I'm actually very shocked at reading how people think it's a 'nanny state" sort of issue. It's our kids' well being and happiness at play. All of our kids.

EvieBB · 16/06/2026 22:22

HelenaWaiting · 16/06/2026 00:58

How is it involving the government in parenting your children? It's placing a mandatory duty on social media providers to introduce a lower age limit. Is banning the sale of cigarettes and alcohol to kids government involvement in parenting your children? How about age limits for viewing certain films at the cinema? Or the age of consent? People are utterly ridiculous sometimes.

Agreed

igelkott2026 · 16/06/2026 17:37

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 16/06/2026 17:29

Surely I can't be the only one wondering why, if 90% of parents recognise the potential dangers of SM for teens to the extent that they support a givernment ban, there's a need for a ban in the first place?

I mean, 10% of teens being harmed by SM is still a very considerable and concerning number; but all of the rhetoric around this ban has been predicated on SM being pretty much endemic in harming teenagers... so does this mean that most of these parents who are fiercely in favour of a ban are only bothered insofar as the government do it all for them and it doesn't trouble them at all as parents?

They don't want to say no to their kids when their kids say "all my friends use it".

So if the government says no, they can blame the government.

It's like allowing kids to play 18 rated games when they are much younger - or letting them have a console at all because they will allegedly be left out if they don't have one. Gaming is a massive problem as well as social media.

igelkott2026 · 16/06/2026 17:34

As I said yesterday on another thread, I generally think it's a good thing but I think more needs to be done about addictive technologies and the way the platforms recommend posts. The advent of AI is creating a whole new ballgame as well. The government has mentioned AI bots in the press release but only in the context of "romantic" ones (I think).

I also don't think it's going to solve the online bullying as the kids will just send each other nasty messages instead.

theturtleswims · 16/06/2026 17:31

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 16/06/2026 13:54

I may be unnecessarily concerned, and I may be being paranoid; but I think the actual reality of what the government (not this particular one then, granted) did during covid lockdown could be a potential harbinger of how we could end up if we just sleepwalk into it.

I was actually genuinely worried about whether I could fall foul of what was allowed and - maybe more to the point - tacitly 'approved'. Especially at first, when nobody knew how hardline the government was going to be, I left my phone at home in case it would be tracked (I know it is by default, but I mean actively) and the proof of my movements used against me. I wasn't going on a bank heist or to strike a county lines drug deal - I was going to Asda for groceries.

Self-appointed neighbourhood spies were watching people, shouting at them, disapproving stares, threatening to (and actually) reporting people for what they thought they might have done wrong. Key workers off to the hospital for the night shift (I heard of one who even had her tyres slashed); people out for a walk or run for more than an hour (which was arbitrarily decided by many as the 'limit'); anything that possibly 'looked suspicious' according to some busybody was criticised and the authorities informed.

This wasn't 1940s Germany; it wasn't even modern-day China; it was the English Midlands in 2020.

Absolutely. It's what happened in COVID that has made me extremely wary of state interference. People and authorities behaved exactly as you say - either genuinely mistaken as to what the rules were, or interpreting the rules far too harshly. But it was the government attempting to silence prominent people who disagreed with their approach that has me most concerned about this proposed new law. Even if you think the current government is fairly benign and is introducing this with honest intentions, future, currently unknown governments might not be.

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 16/06/2026 17:29

Surely I can't be the only one wondering why, if 90% of parents recognise the potential dangers of SM for teens to the extent that they support a givernment ban, there's a need for a ban in the first place?

I mean, 10% of teens being harmed by SM is still a very considerable and concerning number; but all of the rhetoric around this ban has been predicated on SM being pretty much endemic in harming teenagers... so does this mean that most of these parents who are fiercely in favour of a ban are only bothered insofar as the government do it all for them and it doesn't trouble them at all as parents?

cheekynamechang3 · 16/06/2026 17:22

SuddenlyBecoming · 16/06/2026 16:46

So how is the ban going to change that? Do you think the same parents who do not parent are going to suddenly follow this restriction? No they will carry on as they were slightly inconvenienced initially by needing to pretend a device is the parents rather than the child.

There are more important things for the government to focus on and spend money on.

Some (a minority, given 90% parents support the ban) could try and circumnavigate the ban. Many will be relieved that the peer pressure is over and enforce it.

Some parents buy their kids booze to circumnavigate the law but doesn't mean we should not bother with it.

Delatron · 16/06/2026 17:01

Pineapplewhip · 16/06/2026 16:59

Exactly that!! It's a stimulating distraction not a calming coping mechanism.

My autistic DC used to get really emotional and angry whenever we told him to come off YouTube or we blocked it on his phone or the timer ran out. Even he said recently that he was a ruder child when he was allowed YouTube.

Edited

Yes - this is what I was trying to say. It’s not regulation it’s distraction,

ADHD is a disregulation of dopamine - screens steal dopamine. Other things such as nature, books, exercise boost dopamine and are therefore more regulating.

Delatron · 16/06/2026 16:59

I’m not sure screens are regulating for children with ADHD. Even if we think they are. There are other things that are better for regulating them.

Pineapplewhip · 16/06/2026 16:59

Loulou4022 · 16/06/2026 13:56

Part of me feels using YouTube etc is part of the reason that children can’t self regulate! If flashy colourful videos are being used it’s not relaxing it’s raising adrenaline! How much more calming is a story book and time with a known adult, to co regulate with breathing techniques, cosy blankets soft toys a puzzle or colouring books!

Exactly that!! It's a stimulating distraction not a calming coping mechanism.

My autistic DC used to get really emotional and angry whenever we told him to come off YouTube or we blocked it on his phone or the timer ran out. Even he said recently that he was a ruder child when he was allowed YouTube.

SuddenlyBecoming · 16/06/2026 16:46

cheekynamechang3 · 16/06/2026 07:33

I'd go as far as saying most don't. Most children are allowed access to apps such as Tiktok and Snapchat before they're they're supposed to..

Edited

So how is the ban going to change that? Do you think the same parents who do not parent are going to suddenly follow this restriction? No they will carry on as they were slightly inconvenienced initially by needing to pretend a device is the parents rather than the child.

There are more important things for the government to focus on and spend money on.