AIBU to think that all men are…

That's impressively dumb on multiple levels. I just can't even....

Come on, apart from a few cranks, who actually thinks a woman in a gym is selfish? It’s not a widespread view. I’ve literally never heard anyone - male or female - express that opinion.

I don’t but a lot of society does, sadly.

By whom??? I'd never think a woman who spent a lot of time at the gym was selfish. I'd be impressed she was looking after herself so well. Do you really think that?

Do you want to go back to dating? A single, peaceful life (not sure how old you are) sounds lovely. And if men really are as bad as you think they may be, what's the point of dating any of them? It's like saying: I really hate crisps but I've just been to about 10 different shops to see if I can find just one I like. No, still hate all of them. I think I read recently about a woman who died well into her hundredth decade. The secret of her long, happy life was being single and drinking whisky. Amen

But boys AND girls learn to be decent, respectful, responsible, wise, confident human adults from BOTH of their parents (assuming that they actually have them both on the scene).

They really aren't two separate species.

You could get in touch with Andrew Tate and see if he's interested in setting up a rival faction - he might well appreciate a world with twice as much hatred in it that covers both sides.

I know I wasn’t sniping but it’s always interesting comparing the language. If he wrote about you ‘she pulls her weight. She keeps fit and is houseproud’ I’m not sure why but it would sound odd, like ‘is it really worthy of comment that she doesn’t live in a pig sty and has hobbies?’

And can you not see, by the same token, if the boy sees his mother standing up to his father and not allowing herself to be treated like a doormat, walking away if necessary, then the boy will learn that women are equal and to be respected as such. And yes, it takes a great deal of effort to break the cycle, but are our children not worth it? Even at our own expense if it means our sons turn into great men and our daughters don't have to go through what their mothers did?

I have a daughter, she will never take crap from a man. She has seen her father treat me with respect and equality and I have banged into her that that is the way it should be, no exceptions. Her uncle is a lazy, stupid, foul-mouthed man because my sister allows it. My daughter would have kicked him out a long time ago if she had been in that relationship. It is almost irrelevant what a shit a father might be because we as mothers can't just say "well, his father was a lazy arse so that's why he is, he's following in his footsteps!" Aaaaagh, makes me want to scream!! Stop being so bloody passive and making excuses for ourselves. Someone else is a bad influence? Okay, we can't change that, however, we CAN and MUST be a stronger, GOOD influence and that's something we DO have control over.

@FernFaeryI meant he looks after himself and so do I. We both want to feel good in our bodies and remain attractive to each other. Neither of us use a gym we mainly do weights at home and he cycles to and from work. We make sure we make time for each other to exercise and for general self care stuff. I see that as an important part of a relationship.

Too many women try and micromanage instead of letting the men do it their way!!!

I had a friend who would always complain about how her husband dressed their baby. She would complain the outfit didn’t match and then take over and redress the baby!!!

Boys typically idolise and learn how to be a man from their fathers. If you have a domineering lazy father, who expects to be treated like a king whilst treating his wife as a servant, that’s what the son will learn. It takes effort to break a cycle.

This childish characterisation of people or whole groups of them as blanket “good” or “bad” really is pathetic.

I don’t think all men are useless anymore than I think all women are however I’ve come to the conclusion that an awful lot of men are creepy. Lots of men know that being a creep is totally unacceptable but they are still quietly and carefully creepy. I’m going to sound a bit Mary Whitehouse but I think a lot of men are driven by sex.

But it’s interesting you call keeping fit ‘pulling their weight’. Not only are women never ever described as ‘pulling their weight’, a woman who spent a lot of time at the gym would be considered selfish.

It’s funny how people, 80% of the time, cite the wonderful men they know as people they’ve never been romantically involved with themselves. It’s the drudgery and mundanity of family life and coparenting that men seem to fall down at - they can manage their jobs, hobbies and socialising with their own friends very easily. So of course you won’t see your uncle never bothering to arrange a birthday party or spontaneously deciding to clean the bathroom without prompting.