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AIBU to find career advice from privileged speakers tone deaf?

83 replies

Bake · 15/06/2026 21:40

We had a speaker at a work network event talking about her highly successful career and giving women advice about how she made it to where she is.

She talked about a difficult time in her life, she had small children, one who didn't sleep well, she was grieving, stressed, experiencing peri-menopause symptoms etc. These circumstances are so close to my current experience that it really piqued my interest, I couldn't wait to hear how she made it through this tough time and how I could use her experience to help me through.

I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry when she said how she made it through. I'm glad I had joined in Teams rather than being in the room. She quit her job and took 7 months off work. 😳

I understand she was there to talk about her experience, and she was fortunate to be in a position to do this, but I just don't see how it's helping the majority of the audience. After 7 months, she was asked to come back by her old boss, only agreed if it was on her terms, set up a consultation business and returned to the same job but on a day rate she set. It's not the first time we've had a speaker like this. Another man, who has given the same talk to two different teams in the business, came to teach us about burnout. He'd experienced it and had to take a year off work to recover.

I understand that there is a range of salaries in our organisation. But am I being unreasonable to think this is tone deaf to what most people can do? I would be in financial hardship if I took even a week off unpaid.

OP posts:
Pleatherandlace · 15/06/2026 21:55

You are definitely not being unreasonable. What a pointless talk. I find this often with the many male podcasters dishing out health/ wealth and career advice. All of which is only applicable if you are just like them; male, able bodied and rich.

Bake · 15/06/2026 21:53

HaveYouFedTheFish · 15/06/2026 21:45

Does your company have contractual sick pay?

It'd be a bit ironic if the speakers invited by your company are encouraging you to take time off on company sick pay...

I've worked there a long time and think I could get 6 months paid sick leave. But I also know that any extended LOA tends to put a target on your back. I can't afford not to work. Surely very few people can choose not to work??

OP posts:
hereweareagain2 · 15/06/2026 21:48

I went to a talk about education in healthcare. The first 3 men had got to be lecturers by being in the right place at the right time. Never took time off etc.

the next 3 females all had PHDs and had juggled raising a family whilst being in clinical practice.

I thought it was a joke. One woman who was neurodivergent and had immigrated to the UK had worked SO MUCH HARDER for the same position that a man had wandered into 10 years previously.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 15/06/2026 21:45

YANBU. We had a talk from a senior partner at work telling us that the way to get a good work life balance was to just inform colleagues that you simply didn’t do internal meetings before 10am or after 3pm. This was a talk for everyone - new grads, busy managers etc, not just partners who have the autonomy to request this.

tttigress · 15/06/2026 21:45

To be honest, I actually found the worst career advice came from my careers advisors at 6 form college who obviously didn't really know how careers and the job market work. I don't think they were that privileged.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 15/06/2026 21:45

Does your company have contractual sick pay?

It'd be a bit ironic if the speakers invited by your company are encouraging you to take time off on company sick pay...

GingerIsland · 15/06/2026 21:45

Yes it sucks. When I had my third miscarriage someone helpfully suggested to me I was too stressed and should take some time off work to help me get pregnant.

Clueless and unhelpful. You just have to inwardly roll your eyes at these people. They have no idea.

Bingbangboo · 15/06/2026 21:43

I find most people's advice on how to be rich and successful essentially boils down to "come from a wealthy family".

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