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To say no to ds getting a perm?

66 replies

Jellycat1313 · 15/06/2026 16:55

Ds is 11yo and a lot of his friends have had perms.

He has said that he would like the same. I had a look into it and I read that, as I suspected, it’s not a good idea for young children due to the chemicals and it can permanently damage the hair.

He is ok about it but still saying that his friends have got it done.

Is it a bit off to say no? Most of the friends have perfectly sensible parents and they have allowed it.

Yanbu - he shouldn’t be allowed
Yabu - perms are fine for children

OP posts:
IllBurnThatBridgeWhenIGetToIt · 15/06/2026 18:02

hay5689 · 15/06/2026 17:57

Why would it not hold in his hair because of his age? Surely hair is hair?

Before puberty it's a lot softer so often doesn't hold.

ainsleysanob · 15/06/2026 18:00

Walkyrie · 15/06/2026 17:56

2000s for me. Poker straight ponytail with a side fridge, gallons of hairspray and Charlie Black. 🤢

We were only permitted eyebrows with a thickness of a millimetre too. Otherwise the Brow Bobbies would be on patrol!

TheGingerCatsWhiskas · 15/06/2026 18:00

What's thebig deal, its only hair

How much does it cost?

hay5689 · 15/06/2026 17:57

IllBurnThatBridgeWhenIGetToIt · 15/06/2026 17:07

It might not even hold in his hair at that age. I would consult with a hairdresser first.

If they say his hair is OK I would let him have it. Having a crappy hairdo at your own insistence is practically a rite of passage.

Why would it not hold in his hair because of his age? Surely hair is hair?

Walkyrie · 15/06/2026 17:56

ainsleysanob · 15/06/2026 17:52

I was at school in the early 90s. If you didn’t have a perm with a bone straight fringe then you didn’t have hair. At the risk of sounding all ‘it never did us any harm’, well, it never did us any harm!

2000s for me. Poker straight ponytail with a side fridge, gallons of hairspray and Charlie Black. 🤢

shuffleofftobuffalo · 15/06/2026 17:55

I’m sure I was putting dreadful chemicals on my head at that age in some shape or form. I’m having a little lol at the broccoli hairdo tho - make sure you take lots of pics!

ainsleysanob · 15/06/2026 17:52

I was at school in the early 90s. If you didn’t have a perm with a bone straight fringe then you didn’t have hair. At the risk of sounding all ‘it never did us any harm’, well, it never did us any harm!

SheDoesntEvenGoHerex · 15/06/2026 17:52

My 9 year old son had one. He absolutely loved it and he looked really good! He also had the long floppy blonde hair.

He had two. Then moved on to the next style! Once it had grown out a little and then had a short cut, his hair was fine. No damage.

as long as he’s ok with having a short style after having perm or waiting for it to completely grow out ( which looks looks untidy ) then I’d say go for it.

Let him experiment and follow trends!

Id just make sure to take him to a reputable salon where they will do it properly.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 15/06/2026 17:48

Aside from looking utterly ridiculous, would a decent salon carry out a perm on an 11 year
old? May invalidate their insurance.

Foundress · 15/06/2026 17:47

The hair salon I use will not do perms or hair colours on children under 16. These days surely hairdressers wouldn’t risk doing this? I know years ago a friend of mine had perms while we were at secondary school. I do think it’s a rite of passage when young to experiment with hairstyles. I had the Phil Oakey. Long one side and short on the other side plus lots of different hair colours. Still laugh at the photos now.

BobbieTables · 15/06/2026 17:47

It's his hair, I'd let him if he really wants to. Might be more circumspect about something permanent like a piercing.

Divebar2021 · 15/06/2026 17:42

Who the hell even does perms now ? I would say no just from the cost perspective but I’m mean.

Somersetbaker · 15/06/2026 17:39

It's a rite of passage, make sure you get plenty of photos for future use. I'm sure everybody has done something in the past that they don't want to be reminded of 20 years later.

Overworkedandknackered · 15/06/2026 17:34

I’m a firm believer in letting children have bodily autonomy for things like this, a perm isn’t going to permanently damage his hair forever, it will grow out, it might look shit but who are we to judge, we used to pluck our eyebrows to think little wisps and thought we looked great. It’s so important for teenagers to feel they ‘belong’ I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/06/2026 17:24

Do they not do any sort of the patch test with the chemicals? If not then I’d say no, otherwise I’d say yes, you don’t need to like his hair, and it will grow out at a decent speed at his age anyway

Thebigonesgetaway · 15/06/2026 17:23

Doesn’t matter if his hair is damaged. He can just cut it off. And grow more. It only really matters if it’s long and he wants to keep it that way

id let him, it’s fashionable right now and all the kids are doing it.

SparkyBlue · 15/06/2026 17:22

Perms were all the rage in my school from about age 11 onwards. And I’d image the solution would be kinder to skin and scalp these days. I’d let him off. If it’s horrendous he can always shave his hair . A few boys in DDs class had it done last year and they’d be similarish age .

Zanatdy · 15/06/2026 17:22

I was having perms at 12, don’t see the harm. It’s hair, it will re-grow.

Bristolandlazy · 15/06/2026 17:21

I would let him if he really wants it, he wants to fit in, it'll grow out pretty fast though and he'll have straight roots, what will he do then? Is it expensive? The smell will stop him wanting another one. Have you told him it stinks and takes ages, plus he'll need to look after his hair more after it's done or he'll have frizz.

TheUpperEchelonsOfMediocrity · 15/06/2026 17:20

As the mother of two former Alpacas and one current Llama, if he's got the cash and can find someone to do it then why not.

Squirrelsnut · 15/06/2026 17:19

I had perms at that age and they looked horrible AND made my hair like straw. But I survived.

WorkCleanRepeat · 15/06/2026 17:18

It looks ridiculous on most boys but I wouldn't be worried about damage.

I think i had my first perm at that age. I have really healthy hair.

Theraffarian · 15/06/2026 17:17

We were only saying last week how glad we are that the stalk of broccoli / alpaca cross hairstyle has dropped out of fashion with the older boys , as they all looked the same last year , and it really wasn’t a flattering look . This close to the summer holidays I would talk him out of it , if it’s like our area none of the lads will be sporting this style over the summer .

NightText · 15/06/2026 17:13

As I am from the generation that embraced the demi wave age 12, I would let my son have broccoli head

He has the shaggy llama at present, but hasn't asked for a perm yet.

Walkyrie · 15/06/2026 17:13

MyArtfulGreySloth · 15/06/2026 17:06

Is the broccoli style still in? It’s awful. Say no.

It’s horrific! Worst boys hairstyle ever

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