BF messed up meeting parents, gave excuse about it being intense

Are you also 31? I think your mum sticking her oar in isn’t helpful. TBH 7 months isn’t that long and if you’ve got the ick you can just dump him. There are many many more men out there!

@Jasjasdance - sadly (sorry) I am not surprised at what your mum's comments were. I can hear both sorrow and love for you in her words.

What is it that you love about this man? Are there ten things that you could list here that bring you genuine joy and heart-fluttering excitement? Ten things that in no way involve:

• drinking (like 'he's a great kisser after a couple of wines");
• drugs
• derogatory comments about ex GFs, their bodies and their ways
• crude and debasing comments about jizzing on tits (or anything involving sexual behaviours)
• mocking you for being ill and your awful toilet-related symptoms and whatever other put-downs and jokes he makes at your expense, to your face or to his mates behind your back.

Just ten shining qualities that signal to you he is The One?

Because I'm really, really struggling to see from any of your posts anything that redeems, excuses or somehow makes attractive his behaviour.

Sorry, but I really do think you'd be better off in the long run if you find some other way of disappointing your parents. x

Oh dear OP how many people are saying they’d dump him including your Mum and you still think all is ok and he’s just being a silly sausage.
He’s a lout, he’s shown you (and your parents at their FIRST meeting!!) exactly who he is and you still don’t believe him. Love is blind must be true.
Btw I agree with some PP who say he probably has a drink problem too.

Clearly you werent overreacting and clearly it was that bad.

I just couldn't see myself with someone like this long term..

Even if you really like him...
Picture the scene....You'll be there are a family bbq having a nice day and then he pipes up...
Now you are dying inside while making an "its not SO bad darling" face at your child who is also dying inside while benny hill junior is gurning away making awful comments and everyone cringes.

No thank you.

She’s kind of right though, just snobby with the ‘dragged up on an estate’ comment. He seems very juvenile and like he has no decorum or social awareness. Even a lot of estate kids would want better 🤣

He also seems like he may be a misogynist given that he seemingly couldn’t wait to tell his new partner’s parents how his ex scoffed takeaways on the sofa so they would conjure up a negative view of her, and purposely tried to humiliate his new partner by mentioning the toilet incident.

If I was her mum, I’d be wondering how he will speak about my daughter in future and whether he makes a habit of these types of remarks. In summary, he sounds like a right knobhead 🤣

What an awful, judgemental and snobby comment from your mum.

I can’t believe he said that about your cleavage that is gross

He sounds like an arsehole (his comment about your cleavage would have been enough for me, let alone him getting drunk and being embarrassing at the meal) but I don’t think much of your mums comment about being raised on an estate tbh. Really snobby and nasty thing to say.

Something like this happened a friend of mine. It was a sign her partner had a drink problem.

It sounds generally as if he a bit coarse, talking about drug dealing etc.

That’s out of order. Lots of men who grew up on estates would never make silly or disrespectful comments like the misguided ones your BF made. That’s very snobbish of your mother, sorry.

The toilet comment would be ok on a stag weekend about another stag but who would think it was the thing to say to your girlfriend's parents about their dd?

Christ! Yes he’s a dick & should have known better than to drink so much!
id probably throw this one back, he clearly doesn’t respect you enough to make a
good impression!

They all just seem so wet and pathetic don’t they? At the OP’s BF’s age my dad had three kids and a family to provide for-meeting a couple of new people for dinner would have been the least of his worries!

Oh I can’t tell you the number of times I get exasperated and say “where is the resilience fgs?”

”oh I don’t do confrontation…”
”oh I can’t make phone calls”

that said, @Jasjasdance MF of a boyfriend wasn’t nervous or triggered when he made the ‘decorating the cleavage’ quip was he?

shudder. He’s a creepy, slimy little man who can’t face meeting adults without some Dutch courage at 31.

these are genes that really DONT need to carry through to the next generation

Exactly. There are plenty of nerve wracking situations that happen in life - is he planning on getting pissed at all of them? What about family meet ups, weddings, funerals, work events etc.? Is the OP going to have to “manage” this misogynistic child at all of them?

Why do so many men appear to have developed 0 social skills these days? It’s bizarre. If meeting the parents sends him into this much of a tailspin then I’d hate to see what he’s like when life happens and shit hits the fan (as it does from time to time for all of us).

Exactly. It’s grim.

@Jasjasdance GRIM.

THIS is the point you should have ended it.

he either has an issue with alcohol or he’s got misogynistic tendencies

either of these are game over love

if hes showing this amount of disrespect to you/your parents now in 7m, what happens when he drops his guard?

ew, solid gold ew. I cringe on your behalf

And I love it when people excuse behaviour like that as “just sexy talk”. Sex talk requires consent just like any other sex act. And the fact that the OP’s BF thinks she will enjoy it just because his ex apparently did says a lot: she’s not an individual to him, she’s just filling the GF gap.

I'd have chucked him on the spot. Really can't imagine any reason for continuing a relationship with this bellend.

He insulted you and basically said he does drugs? To your parents? Yes, in my opinion that’s quite a big deal and I don’t think you’re overreacting. That would give me the ick whether he was trying to be funny or not. Have your parents said anything to you?

So it’s okay for him to say he’s looking forward to ejaculating over the OP’s breasts while having dinner? Urgh raise your standards.

This man has absolutely no respect for you OP, and if I’d been one of your parents I’d have said something or walked out to be honest. That is a foul thing to say. If a grown ass man of 31 can’t handle a situation like meeting his GF’s parents without getting pissed up and embarrassing himself then what is he good for? Being able to conduct himself appropriately in public situations is not a big ask. That would be the end of the relationship for me, and I would be letting my parents know so they are aware I didn’t tolerate his disgusting behaviour.

@Jasjasdance what does he do for a living? I’d expect someone at 31 to be able to meet new people without it being “intense”.
Toilet jokes are always grim and there’s no excuse for that, particularly as he was using you as the punchline.
Also bad form to be talking about his ex in front of your parents.
I’d seriously be considering ending the relationship.

Most people (as evidenced by the results of the poll) would not think inviting your BF to have a meal with your closest relatives and expecting him not to get pissed, slag off his ex, try to embarrass you about the time you had diarrhoea = expecting him to behave like a pet poodle😂

Hopefully this has shown OP what he's really like and she'll feel able to move on from him sharpish.