BF messed up meeting parents, gave excuse about it being intense

Bit strange how dealers flew to mind....

Agreed.
Adults should be able to manage nerves without drinking enough to negatively impact their behaviour.

@Jasjasdance He is old enough to know the impact alcohol has on him, yet he continued drinking during the meal (beyond a glass of wine with the food).

That would put me off someone in itself.

Your parents might be ok with him anyway, but he needs to apologise to them and keep himself together if there's a "next time".

I don't think it was too bad. It's not in line with my sense of humour but I wouldn't think worse of someone saying the things he did.

I guess it depends on whether this is really out of character for him or whether it's pretty normal for him but you typically don't give it much headspace when it's in front of mutual friends rather than parents. They have effectively made you aware that you do find his behaviour embarrassing and would be equally likely to be embarrassed by him in front of colleagues or your boss.

Worth observing for a bit, he might grow out of it or he might just be an obnoxious boor by the time he is 40.

I don't think it's the fact that it was a meal that made it intense.I think it was the fact that your parents are the kind of people who would find those comments offensive.

I don't think many adults would so much as bat an eyelid at the things you've quoted here. I thought you were going to say he'd made a comment about your sex life, or started using the C-word or something.

The thing about dealers😬You know what your parents will think...!

Not for me. Does he have a good job? If so, does he react like this at work? Or is he just a knob with parents?

I’m in the cut him some slack camp. V sweet he was nervous and I’d take it as a sign he cared and wanted to impress. I’d definitely organise something shorter next time. A meal can be hard work

Likewise wouldn’t shoot him at dawn for getting a bit tipsy. We’ve all been there or at least I have. And someone 21 might not be nervous and someone 41 might be. People are individuals not representatives of their age group.

I’m also of an age where I am the parent meeting the new BF/GF and I usually pour the wine/Diet Coke/whatever their tipple because for us, a drink is sociable.

He sounds extremely immature for 31.

I think it is ok and entirely redeemable if generally he is a reasonable/ normal person and this was unusual.
My brother in law was awful the first time I met him - got utterly wasted, kept trying to engage in conversation with our older waitress who reminded him of his aunt, then tried to dance with her. She was embarrassed, my husband and I were cringing.
Ten years later and I have never seen him in a similar state. I think he is one of the most amazing, genuine characters I know.
If this is the only problem, then try to push on through.
If this is a symptom of a bigger problem, then maybe have a re think.

Is his humour normally like this OP? If so I'd find that a bit grating, but if it's not and it was just because he was feeling nervous then I'd let it go.

Bit poor really for his age. Does he not socialise and meet people?

His behaviour was out of order for a 31 year old and I would let him know you are far from impressed but wouldn't split over this one incident.

My parents would probably find this stuff he said quite funny. But I don't think I'd be very impressed with him drinking before meeting up, I think that's quite off putting and could signal bigger issues.

Hé sounds like an îmmature nob. I’d massively be rethinking the relationship in your shoes.

It wouldn’t bother me and I’m of an age where I’m the parent meeting the children’s partners. My DS has a GF who he has been dating a year she was obviously very stressed the first day she met us. She was very polite and very formal, poor lass was scared obviously of speaking out turn.

The needing alcohol enough to get tipsy is the only issue here.

Honestly, 7 months is not that long at all. If I were you, I would be very open to the possibility of letting this relationship run its course. Not that hard to find someone who doesn't get tanked up to meet the girlfriend's parents.

At 31 I'd have expected him to be able to cope with meeting your parents without being so nervous he needed to drink so much. And to avoid toilet and drug humour.
How does he act when he's not around parents? Does he rely on alcohol and make inappropriate comments then?
If I was sure it was a one-off then I'd cut him some slack. If I had concerns about his ability to interact like an adult with my parents or his alcohol consumption then I'd see it as a wake up call.

He sounds immature, lots of men are at 31 and he’s not good at adulting. It would give me the ick. But I’d have to really question if this is the first time he’s been like this or you jist excuse it as your parents can’t see it.

I would have stuck to just drinks for the first meeting but that ship has sailed. Can you arrange another meet up where he can redeem himself?

Your boyfriend is a dickhead. You're in denial. I'm not sure how that fits with your voting.

I’d be really put off by all of it, especially the toilet comment.

Needing alcohol as a crutch is the real red flag, the rest (inappropriate conversation etc) is par for course.

A 31-year-old should really be able to handle a meal out with your DPs on first meeting them unless he suffers from social anxiety - so does he? Some people do drink too much when they're nervous to give them a bit of Dutch courage - and that can backfire - as you saw. If this is his first transgression I don't think I'd end it, but it would definitely put me on my guard. Does he often drink too much? I guess that's the main worry - that he's a problem drinker and that you're only just starting to see that side of him.

A good friend of mine married a bloke who was the life and soul of every party in his 20s - great fun he was - until he became a full-blown alcoholic who also liked to smoke weed in the garden, got fired from his job and cheated ... twice.