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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect DH to ask before moving laundry on the bed?

113 replies

pontipinemum · 15/06/2026 09:34

I sometimes use our bed to fold laundry and sort it into piles — clothes for our two sons, me, DH’s.

Most of the time I put everything away, but occasionally I get distracted by the kids or something else and the piles are still on the bed later.

DH often goes to bed 20–30 minutes before me. When he finds clothes on the bed, he doesn’t throw them on the floor, but he does move the piles into one pile/corner so he can get into bed. This means I then have to sort everything out again, which drives me mad.

I’ve asked him to just come and tell me the clothes are still on the bed so I can move them properly. But I also know I’m the one who left them there in the first place.

I have asked him to come get me. But he didn't again last night.

AIBU to want him to ask me to help him move the clothes so that I don't need to sort them out again?

YABU - Bed should be cleared anyway, so DH is fine to clear it into a corner
YANBU - DH should ask you to move the clothes.

OP posts:
Velumental · 15/06/2026 09:46

Pre organized piles he shouldn't ask he should dewlw ith

Azandme · 15/06/2026 09:45

So why isn't he?

Stop letting him be crap - and telling h8m to come get you so you can do it IS crap.

He has hands.

Loubissou · 15/06/2026 09:45

YABCompletelyU.

He does not need to ask permission to move clothes or to ask you to move them for him. He is presumably a fully functioning adult who can move things out of the way. Ideally he would put them away in the right locations. Failing that, I cannot see how sorting clothes is such a laborious task.

maidai78 · 15/06/2026 09:44

Yea I would be asking him why he can’t simply put the piles in the right rooms or even outside the door if he doesn’t want to wake the kids

Original poster
pontipinemum · 15/06/2026 09:43

They don't tend to stay in their piles. They fall over/ get jumbled. He balances them on various things. I would put away our clothes then put DSs into a basket - as they would be in bed

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 15/06/2026 09:43

I agree with po. Why doesn’t he just put them away? Surely that makes the most sense, the ones for your room at least if your son is asleep.

Seawolves · 15/06/2026 09:43

Why can't he move the clothes to their rightful places?

MajorSamanthaCarter · 15/06/2026 09:42

Good God, he's not one of your children coming to find mummy to move things so he can go to bed! He needs to learn to put things away. This has given me the ick on your behalf.

Eenameenadeeka · 15/06/2026 09:42

Surely he knows which clothes belong to which member of his own family, and can finish putting them away? Really should not need to come and find you for this.

OhBettyCalmDown · 15/06/2026 09:41

This really wouldn’t bother me. If you’ve already sorted into piles then when there in one pile it should only take about 30 seconds to split them again. It’s not hard to see where the divide is between DH clothes, bedding, DC clothes, towels etc

Azandme · 15/06/2026 09:41

If he moves them surely they're still in piles? If he stacks them, split them again? He's not shuffling them is he? Surely not a full re-sort?

That being said, why doesn't he just put them away? That would be my expectation.

Dermatologically · 15/06/2026 09:41

Surely the issue is that he doesn't finish the sorting and put them away? He shouldn't have to ask permission to move clothes but neither should he have zero responsibility for laundry. It's almost like a parent, child dynamic between you. A grown up would just finish the job before getting into bed

AnonymityAnonymity · 15/06/2026 09:38

If the piles of clothing on the bed are sorted why can't your H put them away?
If you are busy doing other things he shouldn't need to come and find you. He could just do the job himself.

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