AIBU to expect DH to ask before moving laundry on the bed?

I mean, this feels like something that ordinary people just deal with?

OP forgetting to finish a job is not the end of the world. DH wanting to go to bed is also reasonable, so if he just puts the clothes on the floor that's fine?

If OP asks him to just say "oh, there are still clothes on the bed" just before getting into bed that surely is a reasonable request as wel?

I do wonder how some people manage to not argue about everything if such a stupid trivial thing becomes any sort of issue.

If he went into the kid's room to put their clothes away and that woke them up, he'd probably be to blame for that too.

I absolutely hate when DP uses our bed to sort clothes then leaves them there for me to sort out. I don't leave half done jobs in his way. The bed is not a storage space. I just dump them out the way.

My ex used to use the living room floor to sort paperwork or tools then start doing something else.

I am very against any form of "organising" that leads to things being in essential spaces in the way.

If you start a job you finish it.

No. I am a woman. Sorting laundry into piles takes about 5 minutes a load. Less if they have already been sorted and simply moved out of the way.

I assume you missed the part where I said he should ideally have put things away in your desperate attempt to call me a useless man?

Leave things lying around on a bed that someone wants to use, don't be surprised if they move them rather than running off for permission first.

YABU, I wouldn’t want to do laundry or wait for it to be done when waiting to get into bed either. You forgot about it and didn’t finish it, it’s on you really. I think leaving a half finished job on the bed and not telling him, but then expecting him to finish it off at bedtime when he’s literally expecting to step into bed is also unreasonable. It can’t take that long to reorganise your piles unless he literally throws the stuff around the room so I think this is a mountain and molehill one

You might say that. I wouldn’t. Hence my ‘nope’.

To give him the benefit of the doubt, next time he says he doesn't know where stuff goes, talk him through your system or draw a diagram. You can designate a spot for miscellaneous items. If after that he still can't do it, then it's clearly just an excuse.

Yes this, if my husband putting washing away it should be put away so I would do the same for him

They'd certainly say he was lazy and ask 'Why can't this man child just put them away after folding them'.

If the laundry happened to be my responsibility and I was prone to getting distracted, I'd start checking I'd finished the job before anyone goes to bed.

And if my DH left them on there, I wouldn't be going into the kids rooms to put it away and risk waking them up.

How often do you forget that makes it threadworthy OP?

@2msoundsright yep!

So coukd the OP when she's sorted them

Nope.

If the bed is the only suitable place to do the sorting, he shouldn't just move it, especially since he's shown he can't do so carefully. But if the items are in mid-sort and you've been called away and left them on the bed and he needs them moved as he's ready to go to sleep, he should finish sorting them and putting them away. If he's really confused on yours he could do his and the children's and leave yours on your side of the bed.

If DH came to tell me that there were piles of clothes on the bed I think I’d just look at him blankly before suggesting that maybe he could put them away, then.

He's not shuffling the piles though is he? They will be layered however you sorted them.

Of course, he could just take a few extra steps and take them to their final destination

Can you buy extra laundry baskets and sort into baskets? I have enough so each family member gets their stuff in one

My DH HATES laundry so it's always been mine - he does cooking/dishwasher/kitchen for a fair split. But in this scenario, he would put our clothes away and leave the kids' stacked nicely, either on the floor or outside their rooms for the morning. Just as I would take on one of "his" jobs if he had been waylaid or distracted.

You have a very low bar. I would find his actions extremely ick-inducing.

If a man left a job half done and strewn all over the bed so that his wife couldn't go to sleep and then expected her to come and ask him before moving the things so that she could get in, people would say he was lazy, controlling and abusive.

Well if laundry is something you take responsibility for then you should finish the job Not leave piles on the bed when you know he's going to want to get in it. I'd say the same if it was him doing it.

if one of his jibs was emptying the bins, his happy would you be if he just left the rubbish in bin bags in the middle of the kitchen?

hes moving piles he's not just throwing it all on the floor.

I wouldn't expect him to put them away when he's about to get into bed (I wouldn't put them away either) but he shouldn't be jumbling the piles up

I do this all the time and DH (or me if I go to bed first and realise they're still there) will put them in their respective piles on to the floor and either one of us will then put them away in the morning. Just tell him to do that rather than piling them all up

What? He's undoing work she's already done? He should obviously put them away. Are you a useless husband? (I have a decent husband so it's not bitterness but this sounds like the view of a useless one)

Sorry but if I get to the bed snd there’s anything on it, it’s just being lifted to the least irritating place and I’m going in! Either ask him to move it earlier or put it away yourself but if you’re ready to fall into bed you can’t be dealing with washing! (Joking not joking!!)