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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to start the day with a tidy house???

116 replies

GahGahGahGah · 15/06/2026 08:51

DP and I have a two year old who hates bedtimes. I do about 90% of them. It usually lasts from 7pm to 9pm. DP uses that time to go on his phone and watch films. He gets up at 6am and leaves at 7am, which is when we get up.

It means I either have to tidy up after 9pm, when I would like to relax too, or more commonly first thing in the morning, when I am getting ready for work and getting DC ready for nursery.

AIBU to be pissed off about this, daily??

OP posts:
Honeyhonay · 15/06/2026 21:52

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:37

No we all do all our washing in this house. I do mine on Thursdays. Washing machines are very easy to operate. By 7-8, they're mostly doing it themselves.

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You wax lyrical about dishwashers being time inefficient, supposedly, but every member of your family washes their own clothes separately?

Wexone · 15/06/2026 21:44

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:37

No we all do all our washing in this house. I do mine on Thursdays. Washing machines are very easy to operate. By 7-8, they're mostly doing it themselves.

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they will be stinking then by Saturday and full of bacteria by Sunday
then you have them like this 🤣

Work Hard Clean Up GIF
LumpyUmbrella · 15/06/2026 21:44

I get that he shouldn’t need telling but have you verbalised any of this to him at all?

BringBackCatsEyes · 15/06/2026 21:39

Honeyhonay · 15/06/2026 21:32

They’re in the dishwasher.

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😂

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:37

Wexone · 15/06/2026 21:34

yes you live in your little world and the rest of us live in the real world 🤣
now I am sure your have another load of washing to get on with

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No we all do all our washing in this house. I do mine on Thursdays. Washing machines are very easy to operate. By 7-8, they're mostly doing it themselves.

NorthFacingGardener · 15/06/2026 21:34

2 hours is excessive!
Kids do not need a bath every night.. and I’m very confused about why toenail cutting is a daily occurrence. Much quicker to do it when they’re watching TV / otherwise distracted.

However YANBU - one of you should be doing bedtime, one of you tidying up. Make him do 50% of the bedtimes. Do alternative days so DC knows what to expect and won’t kick off as much (it’s daddy’s turn today, my turn again tomorrow).

Wexone · 15/06/2026 21:34

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:29

I guess we all have different norms and standards.

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yes you live in your little world and the rest of us live in the real world 🤣
now I am sure your have another load of washing to get on with

Ayarreet · 15/06/2026 21:33

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:30

Why a dishwasher will obviously smell. If you mix damp with food debris in an enclosed but not airtight space, it will smell. Obviously. You may get used to the smell and not notice it like a smoker, but it does.

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You realise you have to press start, don't you?

Honeyhonay · 15/06/2026 21:33

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:31

Yet I am not overrun with "life mess" or whatever someone called it. And especially wasnt when I only had one small child.

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Not sure why you’re feeling so smug about someone being unhappy with the distribution of labour in their home. Your comments are very strange.

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:32

Ayarreet · 15/06/2026 21:31

and ethos.

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Or the absence of any real ethos when it comes to maintaining the home...

Honeyhonay · 15/06/2026 21:32

BringBackCatsEyes · 15/06/2026 21:30

OP says "when I am getting ready for work and getting DC ready for nursery."

Where are you reading comprehension skills?

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They’re in the dishwasher.

BringBackCatsEyes · 15/06/2026 21:31

nearly every single house in the world has dishwashers

I don't think so.

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:31

Honeyhonay · 15/06/2026 21:29

I mean when everything points to you being the problem, it probably is you.

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Yet I am not overrun with "life mess" or whatever someone called it. And especially wasnt when I only had one small child.

Gettingaggy · 15/06/2026 21:31

Alternatively, the OP could carry on using her dishwasher, having not expressed any dissatisfaction with either its performance or its odour, and her husband could tidy up while she’s putting their child to bed instead of sitting on his arse.

Ayarreet · 15/06/2026 21:31

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:29

I guess we all have different norms and standards.

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and ethos.

BringBackCatsEyes · 15/06/2026 21:30

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 20:32

Where is your child while you wfh?

OP says "when I am getting ready for work and getting DC ready for nursery."

Where are you reading comprehension skills?

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:30

Ayarreet · 15/06/2026 21:27

What are you on about?! 😂

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Why a dishwasher will obviously smell. If you mix damp with food debris in an enclosed but not airtight space, it will smell. Obviously. You may get used to the smell and not notice it like a smoker, but it does.

Honeyhonay · 15/06/2026 21:29

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:29

I guess we all have different norms and standards.

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I mean when everything points to you being the problem, it probably is you.

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:29

Wexone · 15/06/2026 21:28

you are just talking sh&&÷/ now 🙄🤣
nearly every single house in the world has dishwashers as well as hospitals restaurants - every food premises in the world uses them
you do not need to re wash dishes do not stink there is no bacteria 🙈
food should be scrapped off anyway
anyway I am sure the op will take your advice to wash every dish now to ensure her husband helps out

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I guess we all have different norms and standards.

Wexone · 15/06/2026 21:28

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:20

Ive never unstable a dishwasher in anyone's house and not had to reclean some of the items.

The other thing is that people say they are more sanitary because they kill more germs. That is the case during the cycle, but as soon as it cools, anything that is inside the dishwasher in terms of food debris becomes a source of bacteria. You are also not putting these plates into a sterile environment in your cupboard.

If I had the OP's issues, I'd try this new ethos in the house and see if everyone cleaning more as they go works better than what they're doing now.

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you are just talking sh&&÷/ now 🙄🤣
nearly every single house in the world has dishwashers as well as hospitals restaurants - every food premises in the world uses them
you do not need to re wash dishes do not stink there is no bacteria 🙈
food should be scrapped off anyway
anyway I am sure the op will take your advice to wash every dish now to ensure her husband helps out

Ayarreet · 15/06/2026 21:27

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:26

Yes. If you have never had a dishwasher, you can often smell this very distinctive dishwasher smell as soon as the door is open. People with dishwashers only start to smell it when it is quite bad and sewage-like.

It's a wet box where you put old food and leave it closed most of the day. Of course it will smell.

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What are you on about?! 😂

BringBackCatsEyes · 15/06/2026 21:27

Does your DP see nothing wrong with this? That you've been at work, then done 2 hours of bed time and then another hour tidying up?
And he does?????
I would be so angry.

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:27

Honeyhonay · 15/06/2026 21:25

This is abnormal.

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The smell is in every home I've ever been in with a dishwasher. Having a cupboard door over the appliance masks it when the door is closed.

Ayarreet · 15/06/2026 21:27

TheHateUGive · 15/06/2026 21:23

No, if they handwashed everything as they went. Including during cooking. Soon as you finish needing that pan, wash it up. Waiting for something to boil? Wash up anything dirty. Those simple rules along with doing anything that takes under 2 mins immediately really help.

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You should write a handy hints book.