To want to start the day with a tidy house???

Are you self-employed or do you have an employer?

Ask him if he wants to do bedtime or tidy up, every night.

OMG 😂😂😂

Thanks for that, I needed a laugh.

Do you make a habit of going around judging people on whether or not they are 'domesticated'? 🤔

We always had one person doing bath and bed and the other doing cleaning up. DH generally did bedtimes because he wanted to spend some time with the children. I generally did cleaning up because I liked to listen to something and have a bit of time to myself.

Have you spoken to him about this op? It's not fair that he gets 2 hours of relaxing time every evening and you don't. He should either be cleaning up, and / or doing bedtime together whilst you keep popping out gradually increasing the time he spends doing it on his own so your child gets used to it. What has he said when you've raised it?

What usually happens is that one puts the kids to bed and the other tidies up downstairs. I've never known of any couple where one puts the kids to bed AND comes down and does all the tidying. How on earth did you manage to fall into that?

Another who doesn't understand a two.hour bed time routine unless the two year old won't settle to.sleep, or why toenails are cut daily?

When ours were small, DH didn't get home until about 9.30pm so I had to do the bedtime routine and everything else but on the whole, I had more free time than DH so it felt fair.

The child/then children had tea at 5.30/6 and I ate with them. While they were in the high chair/at the table, I loaded the dishwasher, wiped surfaces. We then had half an hour of tidy up time (toys/other bits) they helped to put things away and learnt which bits went into which box which was helpful later. I straightened throws/cushions, etc, so everything was spick and span. Then we went up for baths/teeth/potty. Took no longer than 20 minutes - 30 when nit combing became routine but it involved some fun. DS had to have diprobath and wash with diprobase. I used to put the baby in the cot for 6.45/7. DS half an hour later after a story.

I then spent 30 minutes getting everything ready for the next morning and had 45 mins or so watching TV. Gave DH his dinner when he got home and usually had a glass of wine with him.

The house was always clean, neat and tidy in the morning and I did always try to tidy up and put away as I went along. --the DC sometimes had to wait for attention whilst laundry was folded, etc.

If DH had been at home, he'd have helped, usually by doing story time and swabbing the kitchen decks. I'd have been pissed off if he'd watched TV/gamed.

@GahGahGahGah your dh sounds like a lazy sod, but younare making this hard for yourself.

I think 2 is still an age whereby naps are required (if they’re a mess without one), just maybe shorter, and/or start the bedtime routine at 7.30. And certainly take it in turns to do bedtime!

So the OP is still doing both tasks and the DH gets to do nothing?
How about, while the OP is doing bedtime, her DH tidies up? Or they can swap, and he can do bed time while she tidies up. I don’t understand when people are making suggestions that still involve the OP doing it all.

So tue DH is still free to sit on his backside while OP does it all?

How about, instead of taking 2 hours to do bedtime, spend the first hour clearing up with the child and then spend an hour doing bedtime.

No wonder the child doesn’t like bedtimes. 2 hours! Cutting toenails?

Nope.

The trial found no evidence of a difference in eczema symptoms between bathing or showering weekly vs. daily.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41208015/

There is no excuse not to get your child into a DAILY bathing routine. Get them used to leaving the house fresh, clean and showered for everyone's sake.

Suggesting someone uses a new approach so their house is a wreck by 9pm isnt strange.

What will? We deep clean our washing machine every Sunday. Do you?

Tell that to parents of kids with eczema. My nearly 5 year old bathes every other day because it’s better for his skin.

100% drop the nap, it will be bloody hard for a couple weeks keeping them awake through the day but my little boy was exactly the same, was a really good sleeper up until around 2.5 and all of a sudden was fighting bedtime. As soon as the nap went he was a dream and has been ever since really, he’s nearly 5 and bedtime is no issue.

OP, this situation is bad for everyone in your house and needs changing. It's bad for the bond between your DH and DC for him to never do bedtimes. He should be alternating with you. Yes, it will be hard in the beginning, but it will be much better in the long run. If bed is taking that long then it may be time for a change. And I say that as someone who sits with her 7 or 5 year old until they go to sleep every night. It's obviously unreasonable for you and your DH to have such a wild discrepancy in free time every day. That's bad for you and bad for him because it's bad for your relationship and likely to result in resentment if not burn out on your part.

I only came on here to ask how the fuck you manage this, as my children are the same age and are the absolute masters of dicking about and need telling 1 million times to do the few basic tasks that we do every. Single. Bloody. Night.
Genuinely - how??? I need to know!

Im sorry but how TF is this even a question. 1 does bedtime the other tidies and vice versa. Its a f**king marriage. WTF.

Not on! One person does bedtime, the other tidies up & then you both relax.

This is wild - my DH does majority of bath & bedtimes whilst I clear up downstairs, sometimes we swap, we can then both sit down and relax at the same time

Nonsense. You're just doing it wrong. We never have stuff waiting to go in. everything goes straight into the dishwasher immediately it goes to the kitchen, bar a few things that are handwashed. It goes on over night ( on a timer, we can continue to add things to it right up untl we ge to bed) and DH always empties it first thing in the morning while making tea and breakfast.

If we didn't have a dishwasher, then I'm sure we would have things waiting to be washed, or drying waiting to be put away.

So is that why he thinks he doesn't need to clean? Because he loses time travelling and you don't? This would be resolved with an open conversation most likely.