AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

I’m very much for the ban, but can we please not pretend that childhood was always idyllic before mobile phones and the internet, because it wasn’t.

However a lot of platforms like tik tok and YouTube are highly addictive and are stealing hours of people’s time where they could be doing things far better for their wellbeing. Reading books, doing puzzles, playing an instrument, arts and crafts, even watching movies and TV shows would be far better than spending hours doom scrolling.

I think that there will be a lot of parents who will get around the rules because they don’t mind and don’t see the harm and it keeps their children quiet.

Some of the comments on here come from a great place of privilege. I grew up in a house that didn’t have books - they were an expense. There was no library in my area. There are children who I teach today who don’t have books. I can very well imagine had SM been around when I was a teen I would have been on it endlessly as it would have provided an escape. There was no money for games or paper to draw on - again, all privileged comments. I just watched shit TV.

Now I’m not advocating for endless SM - I have a 15 year old and 12 year old but they only have WhatsApp and phones are given to me at 8pm - but the idea that a SM ban will change teen behaviour is naive.

This is what I’m saying though… it doesn’t cost money to make up dances, take online quizzes, read a book from the library or school, listen to music, make up songs, write poems or stories. It costs a couple of quid to buy a notebook and pen and write or draw. People acting like kids need access to money to entertain themselves are being ridiculous and show a real lack of critical thinking imo.

They can also go for a walk or take up running or practice yoga or reorganise their rooms or volunteer somewhere.

I think children of feckless parents will get around it easily. Just use their login etc. The ones that really need to get off their phones and do something else will still have their 2 year olds on phones watching crap and their teens on phones all the time.

Those are still lone activities though. The attraction of SM and phones is contact with others.
DD has always been very good at doing things, she’s off to do art at uni. Children need more than sitting at home doing things on their own.

Totally sad, but then haven't all boys and girls over millennia complained about 'having nothing to do'? When I was a girl, the teacher wrote BORED in big capital letters on the blackboard and then went on to explain how no-one had the right to be bored, what a sin it was etc. Got to agree with her. Get off the phone and explore the world out there. Use your imagination

That’s was an unnecessary harsh way to talk about a child. We have no idea of the pp’s socioeconomic background and her families ability to do other activities

Don't fall off your ivory tower will you? 🙄

Then you missed out and you let yourself down. Maybe you weren’t parented in a way that was conducive to creativity and hobbies but many of us were and will do the same for our children.

My mother used to say that only boring people were ever bored and she was right (other than if you’re ill).

She’s not silly, a lot of us would have said that at her age. They haven’t learnt other enjoyable ways to spend time because of the awful peer pressure to have a smartphone.

Maybe it won’t. My teen doesn’t have social media and that’s the sort of thing she does, but of course all teens are different.
However maybe the things they do replace it with will be less harmful overall than social media 🤷🏻‍♀️. Even if it’s just watching box sets on TV.

A frustrating aspect of this, is that most responsible parents do already restrict their DC’s access to tech and social media, they are the ones welcoming this ban. But it won’t change anything for them because they’re already doing it.

It’s the children of feckless parents who have unrestricted access to tech and social media. They will most certainly allow their dc to work around the ban. For example, by signing up to SM themselves but allowing the dc to use the account. My DD said that some children in her school have already said they will be doing this.

Sure, I just don't think that's going to happen in the numbers people seem to imagine it will, that's all.

Yes, there may be a very small number of teens who are on social media because they have literally nothing else to do.

No, but if they read a book or cook a meal instead of scrolling Tik Tok, surely that’s preferable?

I think what people are saying is that banning social media isn't going to suddenly lead to a mass influx of teens doing a whole load of nice, wholesome activities, that's all.

I agree.

I think parents are reacting to what it means to them, which is essentially dealing with kids who have never been taught to amuse themselves or be bored.

It's daunting, it will mean some moaning initially, but it will be worth it to have healthier, more engaged children.

Many home hobbies require equipment or stuff to do which often requires at least some money - even local libaries have closed in recent years.

Also never lived anywhere where bike or sewing machines are given away for free as PP insisted- if they are usable they are sold.

I think teens will find stuff to do just might not always be the wholesome activities that some MN image.

My parents reluctance let me out as a teen was becuase they were aware of what the local teens were getting up to because there was very little in area to do.

Teens like ours with some money and parental input behind them are fine with social media - as we parent and mointor - and if banned because we are engaged parents who provide access to indoor and outdoor activities.

I'm just not blind that there will be some teens who are social media because they have limited in RL activities avaliable - though no idea if 12 year old in question is actually one of those.

What is very concerning is that many people sound like they’re saying that the only thing their child enjoys doing is being on social media and there’s absolutely nothing they can think of replace it with. Surely that’s a massive problem??

Because it's a standard part of modern life, and I don't see why we want to go backwards and not benefit from progress.

People managed perfectly well for years calling the operator to put them through to make a call - that wasn't because they were 5yos, because it's the best tech we had then; but if you told people nowadays that they had to ask a stranger to help them to make a phone call, they'd look at you like you were mad.

People managed perfectly well with a tin bath in the living room and a toilet at the end of the garden, and going to the library to look through reference books instead of being able to find info online.

You're currently online yourself - having chosen to be, without anybody forcing you - so I'm sure you're well-acquainted with the many benefits that it brings to the modern world as standard.

I don't know re YouTube - I wondered that as well. It wouldn't surprise me if it now changes so that everybody has to sign in to view anything at all (not just 'mature' content or to upload) - which I pointedly don't do, as I don't want to give Google any more access to my personal data than I have to.

Yet we all did exactly that until the 2000s, and many children who don't yet have a phone still do. If something bad is going to happen at a sleepover, a child having a phone somewhere isn't going to stop it, they won't be prewarned so they can contact their parents.

Also, how long are some teens spending on social media currently that parents think they have to replace it with a multitude of expensive hobbies?

One on tv this morning said the time she would otherwise have been on SM she would spend looking at a wall! Insane.

I'm presuming that they will eventually require pretty robust ID verification so you can't do this - I was reading that in Australia lots are getting around it but that the companies are now coming under scrutiny on compliance.

There also ways to detect whether a VPN is being used, if the companies are inclined to do so.