AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

I was suicidal as a teenager due to serious "in person" bullying at our secondary school. Bullies will always find a way to bully!

i wonder how this will be monitored and policed? There are plenty of parents who don’t care. So will happily lets their kids continue.

I agree with the girl mentioned. Unless you're in a big city, there's often very little "to do" in the smaller towns and rural areas. Made worse by there being no "communities" anymore with families broken up and spread around the country and of course "broken families" where children seem to be absent from their "home" at weekends and don't have a community where their "weekend parent" lives. Also, the way that kids are split and spread over many different schools means often they don't have school friends close to where they live. My son's primary school leavers class were split over around 7 secondary schools and no one from our village went to the same secondary school as DS. Uni leavers often never return home to "live" due to having to move away for jobs, so their children aren't "local" enough to hang out with cousins etc. Also, very little in the way of youth clubs, junior discos, etc nor clubs/societies for youngsters.

If we want kids off social media, we need to think about modern fragmented society.

When I was young we just "played out" with whoever was playing on our street - we all went to the same primary school, then we all went to the same secondary school, our cousins lived nearby, as did Aunts/Uncles, etc. There was a real community and lots of things to do, i.e. scouts/brownies every week, junior disco in our church hall every month, always a football match on the junior school field where everyone joined in, etc. Nowadays, the scouts have closed down, no junior discos in the church hall (in fact the only church hall events are for old people!), and the school field is fenced in and you can't get in to play on it!!

Unless I’m wrong it’s not a phone ban. But a social media ban?

so they can still research and use apps for safety etc.

Where did I say I had a shit time, exactly?

I did all the free things you talk about in your posts but there was still a lot of time where I was sitting around doing very little, and yes, I was bored. My parents were at work all day and I didn't have unlimited access to money or public transport to get myself around.

With one exception, my friends didn't live within walking distance so I spent a lot of time on my own. I'm not sure my experience is particularly unique either

I agree. They are thinking about it from their own point of view. But then they'll realise that with everyone in the same boat, there will be more opportunities to socialise irl.

Anyway I have worked with the parents of children who were so badly bullied on social media that they threw themselves in front of trains.

Those parents would rather their kid was bored.

There are ways for SM companies to detect VPN use if they want to implement that.

Oh I completely agree...they have to start somewhere. I'm just saying that the majority will still find a way

I’m suggesting people who cannot think of anything to do that is free and requires no resources are lacking creativity somewhat. Critical thinking was the wrong term, I admit. But the brain is an amazing thing and humans have entertained themselves in poverty without screens for millennia.

In saying she let herself down, she’s not a child now… I said that to her as an adult who is saying she was bored and had nothing to do and so would children now because that was her experience. She is the one who says she had a shit time because she didn’t think of doing other things.

Just like some under 18s figure out how to get alcohol bought for them. Doesn’t mean the ban isn’t worthwhile.

I've already heard some under 16s laughing about this as they're savvy enough to use a VPN.

So now you’re suggesting that I have a lack of critical thinking because I disagree with you? You were unnecessarily harsh. You should be able to make a point without saying that a poster let herself down when she was a child.

Some people grow up in stable, loving environments where the things you describe are realistic and achievable.

But not every child has that experience. Some grow up in difficult or chaotic households where there isn’t always enough food, where parents may be dealing with serious mental health problems, addiction, poverty, or other struggles, or where they are emotionally or physically absent. Some children may be facing their own challenges, whether that’s illness, disability, trauma, or difficulties with their mental health.

Neither of us know whether that applies to the pp, but I would suggest that a lack of consideration of those facts is what actually shows a lack of critical thinking skills.

I imagine kids will loiter a bit more, the chats on the footpath after school or near bus stops were a big part of my socialising as a teen. We were probably half blocking the path and possibly annoying neighbours but it was harmless banter, having a laugh or sometimes a bit of a flirt. I hope people are open minded to this and don't see this as a new negative phenomenon.

Also they can still phone each other, it used to be normal for teens to chat for hours or make multiple phone calls. It doesn't have to be socially isolating.

I do agree with you these though.

I grew up poor I was lucky that I had friends to play outside with, but I also visited the library every week and read for hours, I watched crap TV for hours when I was bored or on rainy days but imo it was better than the doom scrolling. Better in terms of mental health and for concentration, wellbeing.

I buy pencils and paper too obviously and they do cost more than a cheap phone contract if you’re using them regularly. They really do, and of course, if you buy the cheapest possible pencils and paper, it’s not much fun because you don’t get good results and the pencils need to be replaced even more often because they’re not great.

But people are saying these children’s parents won’t even buy them basic supplies like paper, pens books. So why would they ensure they had a phone and contract even if it’s necessary for most modern life? Either their parents give a shit or they don’t.

They’re not banning phones though? Teens will still be able to message their friends/phone them/FaceTime them. None of that is being banned. How does Tik Tok/YouTube etc mean that they’re being more sociable than they could be by FaceTiming someone?

That’s watercolours. Not normal paper and normal pencils. They don’t cost more than a smartphone and internet.

The internet is essential for households these days though.

And phone contracts can cost as little as a few pounds a month.

Having a smartphone and the Internet are essential these days as literally everything is done online.

100% agree.

I usually read an lot and I paint watercolours. I’ve definitely spent way more money in the last year on books and paint/paper than. I have on my smartphone contract.

I agree with this ban, but I don’t see why people are pretending that all kid everywhere have access to better alternatives on a lot of cases they really don’t, especially when kids aren’t allowed to just hang out in lots of places anymore.

I think and hope the knock on effect will be similar to the smoking ban. I remember being at a house party only months after the ban and everyone went outside to smoke. I had been at many house parties and people always smoked indoors, in some cases there was a room assigned as the smoking room but it was mostly free for all. A law empowered people to self police in other circumstances. Maybe in a few years it will be socially acceptable to ask an adult to turn the volume off when watching videos in public or to tell someone to not cross the road while staring at their phone.

Anyway all of this is a bit moot because even if there are some poor children who are unable to access any resources whatsoever and have no friends and no library and can’t go outside for some reason and the only good entertainment they have is social media…. That still doesn’t mean it’s good for them and they wouldn’t be better off watching shit TV than scrolling constantly taking in unmoderated, unvetted often untrue and dangerous material.

But there’s money for phone contracts, smart phones and internet?

Those aren’t cheaper than books or paper.