AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

Why the need to ‘do’ anything? They can chat to each other, watch telly (way more channels than when I was a teen), listen to music, read a book or trashy magazine, go to the park, hang around with friends, skateboard, do homework, surf the internet…

I certainly did (and still do!).

I do hope that people won't be complaining about 'feral' teenagers 'hanging about' in the park or wherever - if they end up having their current major pastime taken away from them.

No your not unreasonable.

Yeah, teens around here loved hanging out at the library. Damn Tories.

Don’t laugh but we used to read books or go out to play with our friends. I know!!

Well it isn’t sad, it’s just true. The Tories closed down a lot of youth clubs, some libraries, community centres etc. Lots of hobbies and activities are too expensive. Some kids grow up in towns or villages with nothing around for miles. This isn’t the 1940s, they’re not going to suddenly revert to skipping around in fields making daisy chains for fun. It is going to be sad and downright difficult for them.

Not quite the same though, as I think it's the algorithms that are dangerous for kids.
How if you watch one thing, it will automatically push and play you more of the same, or stuff it "thinks" you'll like. None of which might be suitable for kids, or even harmful.
You don't get that with your head in a book.

It’s not sad. It’s not true.

What else is there for them to do? Are you serious? Literally anything else. Read a book, play an instrument, hang out with friends in real life, ride a bike, even sulk in their bedrooms istening to music bemoaning the state of the world and the unfairness of life like teenagers have done for decades. All of those are preferable to the 9 hours (per day?!) that kid is apparently spending on social media. The point is, if they're not constantly glued to their phones they will, eventually, find other things to do.

The fact that some under 16s will find ways around the ban does not mean it's not worth trying. The current batch of 12-15 year olds will kick and scream and find it tough (or they'll get around it), but for younger children it will be much more normalised not to have access to SM as they enter their teens, and I think that's a good thing.

Pre phones I had my head stuck in a book at all times while listening to music. So not hugely different in some ways…

@BoredZelda
Well when I was young yes there was a local youth club but that was only one day a week.
I only had a small group of friends and we used to make our own entertainment. We would meet up and listen to music, play cards and board games, go to local cafes for coffee, in summer play tennis in the park or even hire a rowing boat. We used to skate. Even as teenagers we did these things. I can't remember that we were bored very often.

It’s the need for constant stimulation that’s the issue.

I would definitely suggest sports. Relatively cheap and there are clubs everywhere.

There are probably a generation, perhaps 2 generations of people who haven’t learnt to play as they have had too much technology.

When I was a kid in the 80s/90s we had tonnes of imagination for play. We built dens, used random objects to create things (we used to collect buckets and use them to
store conkers at primary school, then trade conkers with other kids’ dens for a bucket or bit of wood that we wanted). We used the buckets as makeshift drums and all sorts. We pretended to be animals, made up fun stories, explored inside and outside. Used toys as part of our stories, made games with them. Played (kindly) with pets. Used cardboard boxes as forts or as stables for model horses. There was always tonnes to do. My parents didn’t let us watch much tv or play computer games much.

Have these children who have had phones and social media for years been able to develop these skills? And for some kids their parents probably didn’t develop these skills either so can’t teach them.

And doing what for U16s instead? When I was young, there were youth clubs, and sports clubs and affordable things to do. What do we have for young girls these days?

I came on to mention this as well. I shouted at the TV "use your imagination". How do they think people managed before mobiles? I despair.☹️

Sad and also not true - there’s plenty of things to do.

Sport, gaming, socialising, cinema, reading, arts and crafts, etc etc etc.

I mean they really want this to go through and are in full public manipulation mode, so they won't have chosen soundbites where the kids are joyful and living fulfilling lives, will they?

She’s not wrong though is she what else is there for them to do? There is a real danger of the under 16s now finding unsafe ways around the use of SM. My dds are 15 and 14 excelling at school, have hobbies outside of school and go on tik tok, IG and Snapchat when they have free time. Their accounts are all private and linked to my phone. I do have a little look every now and then at what they are up to but on the whole they’re sensible girls. Surely more onus should be on parents?

I do feel for the kids stuck in that age group who have already discovered social media and will then have it taken away but it’s definitely a case of being cruel to be kind.

This is the best thing in a long time to help our children but the key thing is that parents have to back up the ban. They can’t help or let kids skirt around it and they have to reiterate how important it is.

Children don’t need smart phones and if more parents stood firm and went back to non tech phones for kids we would have a generation of happier children.

Indeed. Only last week I saw a woman walking along the road, staring at her mobile - whilst her child (a girl of around 7) struggled to keep up with her, 20m behind. I wanted to say "You've just picked your child up from school - TALK to her."

I find this a pain with my staff. Being in phones when there is "downtime".

They are overall good DND diligent, but don't remember, that before phones, when there was downtime they typically would find little jobs that needed going, or improved things in the work as pace.

It's frustrating. Ok hate nag go ing.li JJ Ed I'm their mother.

I think social media and smart phones need banning in a lot more places and to a lot more people personally. Was at the airport yesterday, I haven’t flown since before Covid (yes I know!!!!) and was quite shocked at the number of air side staff on phones. Doom scrolling and looking bored. One young man sitting in his truck which moves the plane back from the terminal, sat oblivious to everything around him, scrolling on his phone. I mean yes, he didn’t need to be doing anything at that moment, but surely air side with lots of people and stuff going on, just having an awareness of his surroundings and being alert would make everywhere safer? If was the same at my destination (within UK), could see staff on phones air side.
I think the whole social media, smart phone thing does need looking at and boundaries being put in place, it’s just getting ridiculous that people can’t cope without them, and can’t entertain themselves. No wonder we have had an explosion of ADHD, I mean we are ALL addicted to phones and the hit we get from them!!!!!
I hate to see where we’ll be in 10 years time to be honest.