AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

There’s more to do even at home than screens fgs.

Yes but it gives parents a good reason to be able to say no. ‘I don’t care if little Laura uses a VPN for TikTok it’s illegal so you can’t.’

Kids can’t really argue with that.

Well time for her to learn how to amuse herself. Books still exist, paper and pencils exist, dancing exists.

In Australia VPN usage sky rocketed in the immediate few weeks after the ban. But then… declined. Too much hassle, peers no longer as engaged etc.

To be fair, you don't know the reason people are on their phones, considering how many things are online now emails etc.

For instance I was reading a message the other day from my Mum to say that my Dad who was on end of life care, was nearing the end. I wouldn't appreciate being judged in that situation.

People are talking about all these activities that teens can do instead yet there are threads on here most days about how people can’t trust their teens to catch a bus or even cook pasta or go on a bike ride without adult supervision or being tracked - so really, if social media is banned, are these kids actually going to do any of this stuff or are they just going to sit at home and text and watch TV?

It is sad. But it also shows that there can't just be a ban. An entire generation literally need to be taught how to socialise, how to be bored, how to combat boredom through creativity. I hope this leads to the creation of lots of local groups that prompt children and teens to become engaged with nature, craft, reading, skill-building, sports, arts, music, drama.

It'll be like that photo that keeps doing the rounds, of the random gate standing in a field with clear open grass all around it - and the comparisons with it asking you to confirm that you have a TV licence before you can access iPlayer!

I agree with this. You have to form good habits when they are younger. It makes the teen years much easier!

There are absolutely loads of things for young people to do.

What i think is tricky though is if you do sod all when kids are younger, let them drop everything they try, or quit the moment there's an exam or competition to work for.... and then magically want them to be able to join a sports team or music hobby at 14.

Most groups are keen to take new participants but a teenager who wants to take up a sport, dance or music late isn't going to be able to slot in with peers the same age because they will be miles behind skills wise.

I agree with this. Encouraging hobbies and keeping kids busy is the easiest way to keep them off social media. If they are busy at school, with homework, sport, music, dance, etc then they don’t have time for much social media. They are with friends doing those activities who also don’t then have much time for social media, which means that social media doesn’t really become a thing in their peer group.

If parents had parented properly, much of this would never have been an issue in the first place.

So many parents are wailing about how addicted their kids are to their phones and how they're on them for 10 hours a day, and there's nothing rhey can do unless the government start banning things... what a shame that none of these young people have responsible adults living with them who could maybe guide them, supervised them and set firm boundaries for them to follow for their own good, eh?

I know. I'm 57, not getting any younger, but a child of the 70's/teenager in the 80's not that long ago really. Even my mum was only a very small child in the 1940's

🤣🤣.

They have banned youths from lots of shopping centres etc though, so she has a point. Unless the opening youth clubs, skater parks etc and putting stuff on in parallel, she does have quite an important point. Also more after school sports for all kids. The Government constantly underfunds schools, so where are these kids going to go and what are they going to do instead.

There is plenty to do, and plenty of minimal or low cost activities if people would only look for those opportunities. The “but there’s nothing to do” excuse is a lazy one.

The addiction of both adults and children to their phones makes me feel like a carnivore in a land where gruel is he native dish.

My DS's secondary school doesn't even have a library. I get the impression that so many schools and facilities for young people have been based around the assumption of them having ready access to phones and the Internet... and now they're trying to take them away without maybe considering all of the ramifications.

Even before the government-level ban, the school had decided to ban all mobiles on the premises - and apparently hadn't even stopped to realise that they are an essential lifeline for kids with diabetes and other disabilities and serious health conditions.

I do think that, if this is enforced strictly and young people are effectively severed from modern technology, in a few years, there will be alarm and cries about a widespread lack of technical skills amongst young adults - especially compared with people of the same generation in China and other countries.

As a teen I never went to a library (to spend time, just choose a few books), community centre or youth clubs.

We had houses. Parks in the summer (no not to drink cider & lurk on the little kids equipment) we went bike riding, walking...

The teens in my family have been supported & encouraged in hobbies and it makes a massive difference to their screen use. They aren't on their phones all the time as they are too busy playing sport, doing music & dance etc. And they have friends through this so enjoy meeting friends etc.

The teens I know who spend most time on screens don't seem to have any developed hobbies and count "gaming" as a hobby.

DH and I also try and model doing other stuff, the kids see us out doing sport/music/meeting friends and we don't allow phones at meal times etc.

There are lots of things for young girls to do. I think parents and teens often find it too easy to say “there’s nothing to do”. It’s simply not true.

There a lots of sports clubs around; there are many more girls teams now than when I was a teen. Take cricket and football for example. There is a huge push to get more girls involved. We have several local teams who do girls only sessions, or girls are welcome to join with the boys. The cost is often zero, or minimal. It’s often hard to persuade them to get involved though because they are allowed to become obsessed with their phones instead.

There are church youth groups.

We still have libraries where books can be borrowed for free.

There is the option of meeting up with friends to walk around and talk, go to a park, or go to a local shopping area. All things we did as teens.

There are cadets and Duke of Edinburgh programmes. Through this, they get ideas of learning new skills and volunteering. Music lessons are available; there are plenty of programmes offered at minimal or no cost.

Parents and teens who claim there is nothing to do haven’t looked hard enough. They’ve taken the easiest route of giving into phones and social media.

Not daft at all. The liklihood is yes. As theres talk of it being similar to age verification for adult content, which is stupidly easy to get past with a free vpn on your phone. So not sure it's going to change all that much tbh.

You do realise SM has only been a thing for 20 ish years. Not since the 1940s

Indeed - and teenagers are traditionally not amongst the tech-savviest group in society, are they......?!

One thing I don't understand, though, is that, when we got our DS his first phone, we paid for it (and do for his monthly plan). It asked for an email address and other details that he didn't yet have, so I just treated it that - not unreasonably imho - it was my phone, albeit one that I let him use; thus I set it up with my details.

I don't know if this can be changed once you've set it up and confirmed your birth date (I don't think you can with WhatsApp) - so if it just rolls over and he's still using that number and everything connected when he's 80, it will think that he's 115!!

It could be like the case of Jeanne Calment - the French woman who famously lived into her 120s - and there were allegations that her DD may have assumed her mother's identity to keep cashing in on her pension indefinitely!

I think some people are a bit blinkered about the good old days. We used to know the TV schedule almost off by heart as teens because that's what we would do in the evenings as school as someone who grew up rurally with no friends nearby and judging by the talk about the Simpsons or whatever was on TV the night before at school the next day so did everyone else.

Oh you know all the things us dinosaurs had to do at their age.

Walking, we used to walk for miles
Riding our bikes
roller skates
Bouncing on the trampoline

no winded we were slim & fit!! 🤣

sunbathing on the trampoline 🤣
reading
listening to music
baking
actuslky spending time with friends cards/other games.

i wont mention boyfriends & less wholesome distractions 🤣