AIBU to say I cannot keep lifting my mum’s chair?

Time to do some role play and injure your shoulder and not be able to lift the chair any longer. You’re making yourself injured by doing this. You must prioritise your health. If you worked as a paid carer you wouldn’t be allowed to do this due to personal injury.

I tried to keep on helping my lovely dad by using his heavy walker
It's absolutely wrecked one of my shoulders which has affected my daily life. No advvce as everyone's situation is different, but please be careful. X

You need to get an OT involved, otherwise she will buy something off the internet again, because it's easier for her. It may not be suitable for the car, and be difficult for you to use.

At a bare minimum, she needs to be booking a visit from the nearest power chair showroom to talk through options.

How about you book an appointment with your GP about the shoulder pain? Are you experiencing pain in your shoulder following lifting the chair, or is it still when directly lifting the chair?

How old is your Mum @Elphabayo ?

But the mum sounds like she is over state pension age and unless she was already in receipt of DLA or PIP, she will be claiming Attendance Allowance which doesn't have a mobility element.

If you injure and potentially disable yourself what happens then?

At a bare minimum, she will be guided to buy either a more appropriate powerchair or an electeic hoist to get it into the car. As the OP has explained (and was obvious from her opening post, if you read between the lines), the OP's mum has bought a random one with no professional guidance about whether it was suitable for her life.

Adult men refuse to lift this chair. It is clearly not suitable for the OP's daughter to lift in and out of her car, and if an OT had been involved before the purchase, he or she would have raised the issue of how it would be moved into the car.

I also suspect the OT will identify the most appropriate models of walker, so that the OP's mother can walk outside the house without falling.

Sadly the hoist will only materialise if you say no and stay consistent. Just phone her tomorrow, say you can't manage it any more and she needs to find a solution. And every time she complains telling her that she needs to find a solution as you're not lifting it again and repeat as necessary. Don't feel guilty, you have been very supportive.

You need to drop the rope OP. Tell her you're not doing it anymore and if she's determined to stay disabled and not try, then she can engage with the services.

Or she can stay in the house.

I feel like she is bullying you and your word should be enough. If your word isn't enough, then you have bigger problems with your mother than her disability! have you always been her skivvy?

Could you get a ramp for putting it and out of the car? I would fo everything you can yo find a solution.

Check out this video, "ratchet strap to pull power wheelchair into boot" https://share.google/WEQF7bMBKTMC76NsZ

I never say this on Mn but I’m going to now; you are being abused by your mother. I’m going to say again, stop damaging yourself by lifting this and tell her to speak to her Gp for physiotherapy and occupational therapy referral.

Are you in her mum’s body to be able to tell what she can or can’t do??

OP has said that her Mum can walk about in the house, it is outside where she uses the power chair. Having a fall, especially one that results in a fracture can lead to anxiety related to mobilising,and that is completely understandable. However that anxiety doesn't trump OP's own physical health.

Do you mean she brought it? If so, where did she bring it from, and can it be exchanged?

If you mean she bought it, could she sell it and buy a lighter one?

You can't keep injuring yourself like this otherwise you'll do permanent damage.

Motability will provide the vehicle - assuming she qualifies - but adaptations have to be paid for by the customer. If we’re talking abut hoists, ramps and wheelchair accessible vehicles they are very expensive (the upfront payment for a WAV can be thousands of pounds, as well as the cost of the adaptations). And you have to start again at the end of each lease period.

Multiple times a day ?

Do you live with her? I’m sorry, tbjs sounds like such hard work and made all the more frustrating as she won’t accept help from anyone but you. That’s not fair

If it is an electric wheelchair, you may be able to remove the batteries.
Often the canvas seat can be lifted on one side, the batteries will then be visible. Disconnect the cables. The batteries should then lift out.

You should be able to remove the cushion, footrest, and armrests to make it lighter, the back may then fold to make it smaller.

If you can't work out how to do these things, try and find an instruction manual online for the wheelchair that she has.