Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this intimidating house buying letter should be reported to police?

484 replies

Blopi · 14/06/2026 15:17

Friend’s elderly neighbours came back from holiday to find a letter delivered by person. It has made them upset and frightened.

It was addressed to them personally Mr and Mrs (surname)
They said that their home is too big for the couple and would be suitable for a 5 bedroom HMO. Willing to pay £Xk for it (properties have been selling for 10-15% more) and will visit them on Thursday at 11am to discuss things. Signed by Mr (common surname). No phone number or email address.

Her neighbours have zero intention of moving home as they have lived there for 58 years. They are upset on how they are targeted and wondering how did they get their names?

In the past I had these letters which have been sent to others down the estate. Though not intimidating like this letter, nor personalised.

Unfortunately my friend is working on Thursday. She would have loved to have seen if the person turned up and told

Should my friend phone the police on the non emergency line about this? As maybe something else dodgy going on

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Sleepbeautifulskeep · 14/06/2026 16:03

I would also err on the side of caution and log with the police. Easy to leave an email or phone number but not don f so and visiting is aggressive

JohnofWessex · 14/06/2026 16:01

Shall I come over on Thursday morning and sharpen my billhook and splitting axe in the front garden?

OneThreadOnlybyN · 14/06/2026 16:01

Blopi · 14/06/2026 15:39

My friend’s brother who is very muscular is willing to help out if needed

Brilliant. If he's availabke on Thursday morning, he should be there 💕

Dollymylove · 14/06/2026 16:01

NeverLookInTheMirror · 14/06/2026 15:30

Honestly the police will laugh them out of the door.

The amount of times people go on about “logging with 101” is hillarious.

The electoral role is a matter of public record. Estate agents do this stuff all the time, people selling stuff, politicians canvassing during the elections, I know at least two of our reform candidates wrote to me personally 😂.

What they do is bin the letter and think “what tossers.” Then carry on with their lives.

Why would the police laugh them out of the door? They have a duty of care and this elderly couple are frightened about what these peoples intentions are

Laura95167 · 14/06/2026 15:59

I would 101 report it because I think it would be intimadating. Your house is too big so im coming over to bully into selling it. Its horrible, and sounds like it would go against any "no calling" zone if they have one

Meadowfinch · 14/06/2026 15:58

Dunnocantthinkofone · 14/06/2026 15:56

That’s a fair point but direct your frustration at the house builders. I know many many of my parents generation would like to move but the only houses that are ever built round here are five bed ‘executive’ ones or a flat on a main road. So they stay put!

This. I'll be sole occupant of a 4 bed house in September but two bed houses with a decent garden are like hen's teeth around here. I might as well stay where I am.

Orchid556 · 14/06/2026 15:58

Bumbelinaaa · 14/06/2026 15:51

How is this intimidating??? Cheeky yes, but not intimidating or aggressive! And there are plenty of perfectly legal ways to find out most people’s names if you have their address. Would you report junk mail to the police?

Someone tried to steal my car and the police didn’t come out, I don’t think they’d be interested in this

My partner is a sergeant and has said they definitely take elder abuse and coercion seriously and would take this seriously. Ignore posts like this OP.

OneThreadOnlybyN · 14/06/2026 15:58

NeverLookInTheMirror · 14/06/2026 15:30

Honestly the police will laugh them out of the door.

The amount of times people go on about “logging with 101” is hillarious.

The electoral role is a matter of public record. Estate agents do this stuff all the time, people selling stuff, politicians canvassing during the elections, I know at least two of our reform candidates wrote to me personally 😂.

What they do is bin the letter and think “what tossers.” Then carry on with their lives.

You're wrong.

feel free to read my previous posts

godmum56 · 14/06/2026 15:57

Magnoliafarm · 14/06/2026 15:53

Unpopular opinion, I'll probably get flames for this. I'm not saying they should sell to these rogue chancers, but it is wild that so many elderly people are sitting on multiple empty spare rooms while young adults are squeezed into crowded house shares well into their late 20s and beyond. There's a big issue with stamp duty and with price differences within the same area being so slim between 4 and 3 and 2 beds, and huge legal and moving costs meaning people don't release much equity when they downsize so it's not worth their while.

While i agree that as things stand currently downsizing doesn't release much equity, Its not your or anybody's business to say what people should do with anything that they bought and own. Its not "wild" its my choice.

Onmytod24 · 14/06/2026 15:57

HauntedRavioli · 14/06/2026 15:36

HMOs are usually not paticularly nice places to live. They are more of a last resort. People who can afford to pay their own rent don't tend to end up living in them.

That’s just not true. Most single people can’t afford a flat so a bedsit house is ideal.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 14/06/2026 15:56

Magnoliafarm · 14/06/2026 15:53

Unpopular opinion, I'll probably get flames for this. I'm not saying they should sell to these rogue chancers, but it is wild that so many elderly people are sitting on multiple empty spare rooms while young adults are squeezed into crowded house shares well into their late 20s and beyond. There's a big issue with stamp duty and with price differences within the same area being so slim between 4 and 3 and 2 beds, and huge legal and moving costs meaning people don't release much equity when they downsize so it's not worth their while.

That’s a fair point but direct your frustration at the house builders. I know many many of my parents generation would like to move but the only houses that are ever built round here are five bed ‘executive’ ones or a flat on a main road. So they stay put!

Meadowfinch · 14/06/2026 15:55

Bumbelinaaa · 14/06/2026 15:51

How is this intimidating??? Cheeky yes, but not intimidating or aggressive! And there are plenty of perfectly legal ways to find out most people’s names if you have their address. Would you report junk mail to the police?

Someone tried to steal my car and the police didn’t come out, I don’t think they’d be interested in this

The message from the police is always, always report it. They can't do anything about it if they don't know.

OneThreadOnlybyN · 14/06/2026 15:55

DidntLikeTheEnding · 14/06/2026 15:27

What on earth do you think the police are going to do?!

Around here they'd come to the house on Thursday at 10.45 if at all possible or at the very least they'll arrange a local trusted person to be there.

About 2 years ago we had a manned local police station re established & it's made a huge difference. It's not the sane as it was as you can't just drop in whenever as they're not alwats there, but it's open at certain times '& they do community drop in sessions at other venues & reply to reports & emails etc

offtodreamland · 14/06/2026 15:54

Telling them that they don't need such a big house is intimidating, imo. As is just announcing that you'll show up at a certain time to discuss something, as though they're on official business and have the right to pronounce when and where a meeting will take place.

Magnoliafarm · 14/06/2026 15:53

Unpopular opinion, I'll probably get flames for this. I'm not saying they should sell to these rogue chancers, but it is wild that so many elderly people are sitting on multiple empty spare rooms while young adults are squeezed into crowded house shares well into their late 20s and beyond. There's a big issue with stamp duty and with price differences within the same area being so slim between 4 and 3 and 2 beds, and huge legal and moving costs meaning people don't release much equity when they downsize so it's not worth their while.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 14/06/2026 15:53

godmum56 · 14/06/2026 15:52

not everybody is on the publicly searchable Electoral Roll. I am not.

I’m not either. But percentage chances are that this elderly couple are

FeliciaFancybottom · 14/06/2026 15:52

People are always being encouraged on MN to pop a note through the door if they see a house they'd like to buy. It's just a variation of that isn't it?

godmum56 · 14/06/2026 15:52

Dunnocantthinkofone · 14/06/2026 15:21

Names is easy surely? Electoral roll

not everybody is on the publicly searchable Electoral Roll. I am not.

offtodreamland · 14/06/2026 15:51

I suppose it does no harm to inform the police, though I don't know if they're likely to do anything. It's infuriating when these people go after the elderly, knowing full well that they may be more easily confused or intimidated into making a poor decision. Scummy scammers.

I'd advise the couple that they don't have to speak with anyone they don't want to and should just ignore any unexpected callers that day. I'd also offer that they could call me (or someone else who they trust) any time they feel the need for support or to back them up.

Bumbelinaaa · 14/06/2026 15:51

How is this intimidating??? Cheeky yes, but not intimidating or aggressive! And there are plenty of perfectly legal ways to find out most people’s names if you have their address. Would you report junk mail to the police?

Someone tried to steal my car and the police didn’t come out, I don’t think they’d be interested in this

Meadowfinch · 14/06/2026 15:51

Elderly & vulnerable. I'd call the non-emergency number and ask for a community support officer.

When I sold my first flat in Ealing, I had a horrible man turn up after dark, with a case full of cash, and try to bully me.I was only 26 and on my own. It was horrible.

They need some support.

SatsumaDog · 14/06/2026 15:50

This is awful! I would tell them to contact the police as it could be more widespread. It’s intrusive and threatening in nature. An elderly person could be coerced into selling their home. I would also advise them to have someone there with them when this asshole is expected to return.

Years ago I had to deal with some religious lunatics who were targeting my elderly father. He lived alone at the time in an affluent area. They were trying to worm their way in to access his money and were doing the same to others in the area. I was there when they came round and gave them a piece of my mind. They never returned.

Persephonia1966 · 14/06/2026 15:48

But also, there's been a big shift recently to mark occupants of HMOs as dodgy. I noticed Kenyon banging on about how much HMOs are in Makerfield and conflating it with asylum seekers even though Maker field has very few asylum seekers. So most of the HMOs in the area won't be housing them. But it conflates them with asylum seekers, foreigners, non-locals, poor or chaotic people.
Some people (students) naturally need HMOs but there growth in use is a problem as it suggests lots of people can't afford tonrent their own homes. They often don't have living rooms etc so it's harder to socialise. But demonising HMO occupants or trying to remove them from the area doesn't help the problem

Despite that, there is no need for the letter to the elderly couple in this case and I would absolutely be mentioning it to a non-emergency police phone number/contact form. And have someone be there at the time of the alleged appointment.

WilfredsPies · 14/06/2026 15:46

DidntLikeTheEnding · 14/06/2026 15:27

What on earth do you think the police are going to do?!

If I phoned the police and told them I’d received a similar letter, I’d fully expect them to do nothing because I’m of an age where a bolshy little fucker isn’t intimidating. But these are elderly people, a category that is known for being targeted for abuse and exploitation, who have received a letter informing them that the author intends to scam them out of their home. And obviously not every elderly person is going to worry about something like this. But the OP describes this couple as frightened.

This is on the website for my county’s police force. They clearly take elder abuse seriously.

Adults requiring care and support may not be able to protect themselves from abuse or neglect. We have specialist trained officers and staff who work to protect adults at risk of abuse. Any adult can suffer abuse or neglect from anyone in their lives. Abuse can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse and neglect. For older adults, abuse can include coercive control, neglect or acts of omission, discrimination, modern slavery, domestic abuse and cuckooing. If you are worried that you or someone you know is suffering adult or elder abuse or neglect, please contact us immediately. We will investigate and ensure the person gets the best course of action to meet their needs.

So I would expect the police to either send an officer out to the house at that time, and/or reassure them that it’s easy to get their surnames and it doesn’t mean anything sinister, and/or advise them to take a particular course of action, like putting a note on the door instructing the man that they aren’t interested and they will call the emergency number if he persists.

Holesintheground · 14/06/2026 15:45

Orchid556 · 14/06/2026 15:18

Yes I would. They’re elderly, vulnerable and could be violently pressured into something they don’t want to do. I’d tell the police about the 11am visit as well, and I’d make sure they had someone else or multiple people during that time

If they aren't able to find anyone who can be at the house with them at that time, I wouldn't open the door if someone does call. I'd get them to say what they want through the door or at least with the chain on. Often the aim with older people is to talk at them to wear them down. Is there no company name or anything on the letter?