Would it be odd for cousins to use different grandparent names?

Why can’t your parents decide?

My DC calls my mum Nana. My sister has two boys - one of them calls my mum granny but the other uses grandma. I really don't think my mum cares what they call her but I appreciate that some people might have stronger feelings about it for all sorts of reasons.

I disliked the woman intensely and so did her son, he decided to go no contact with her when the children were quite young so it wasn't an issue. She's now dead anyway. I never spoke a word to her about the name choice, my husband did that. If people loathe the word Nanny/Nan for grandma then it's not benign is it? How could you talk about grandparents while referring to them by a word you hate? Anyway she wasn't bothered.

My own parents wanted to be grandma and grandpa when they became grandparents and that was absolutely fine. I in turn was known as grandma when I became one and my parents became great grandma and great grandpa.

I agree. My mum was so excited to be called Nannie and hated granny/grandma as she felt they were older sounding! I totally respected her wishes and she’s Nannie to all her grandkids. Can’t imagine refusing and demanding my kids use a name for her that she really didn’t want

This made me wow! Don't grandparents get to choose what they prefer to be called and then sometimes the name gets slightly changed by the child? Seems a bit harsh to force Grandma on someone.

Our DC refer to their DGP as different names to the ones their cousins use.

Same here for MIL. Nannan by one set, Nanny by the other.

Our cousins called our grandparents something different from us.

A friend's children called their grandmother Baggy!

It’s odd that the grandparents didn’t have a say in what they wanted to be called originally.

My brother and partner’s sister both had their kids first and we call both sets of grandparents different names to them. Initially there was a bit of kickback from them - in that they made it known they’d assumed we’d be calling them the same, but my view was one set were being called a foreign name for grandparents - neither myself, my parents, my partner or my children are from this country so why would we call them this? The other set, they called MIL a name very similar to what you’d call a mother, so I didn’t want that either.

They accepted it and we’ve always called them something different despite various attempts at referring to them by their other names. I’m no doubt seen as bolshy, but why does getting pregnant first entitle you to call the shots name-wise for something that affects ppl in an equal relationship forever more? Fuck ‘em.

We have different names because one branch of the family is norwegian and they use different so SILs kids say ‘mothers father’ whilst BILs say ‘fathers father’ and then one of mine couldn’t say Fs so sort of made up their own thing and then now they’re going through a phase if saying first names so one Grandfather is known by 4 different names. It’s fine. Don’t overthink it 🤣😂

I was asked what I wanted to be called but as the first set of grandchildren couldn’t quite say it, a slightly different version has stuck for them but not their cousins.

We asked both sets what they wanted to be called and went with that. I think it's the grandparents decision, just like it's my decision what I am called by my children (until they get fed up and decide themselves what they prefer to call me).

It's absolutely not weird to be called different names by different grandchildren, that is totally fine.

I can’t say I’d ever thought of it but I don’t think it’s weird at all. The kids can call the grandparents whatever they like, surely? What do you stand to gain/lose if the kids call the grandparents different names?

We asked them what they wanted to be called. I didn’t see it as my decision.

I am called the same name by all my grandchildren (2 families) because their parents asked me what I wanted to be called. However, my DC and their cousins had different names for my parents. No problems.

They may pick up their cousins nabes, I hated the name used for grandma in the area my in-laws live in and said we weren't using it. They were really good and didn't use it around them but they still picked it up.

I had children first and did just this (asked my parents what they wanted to be called) but my brother still decided to use different names for them when he had children.
It annoyed me at first because I had asked them and my mum specifically had asked NOT to be called the name he uses.

But she didn't want to "cause a fuss" by
saying anything and in the end it has been ok to have different names even when we are altogether.
I still find it grating tbh but there are bigger problems in the wotld.

It’s fine: mine called my MIL Granny, and their younger cousins called her Grandma. We did ask her first and she said she was happy with anything except Granny ‘Surname’.

I bet you're a joy of a daughter in law. Why wouldn't you respect what someone wants to be called when it's entirely benign?

OP - I think it's actually the grandparents choice... what would they prefer to be called?

It’s fine to use different names but I think you should also ask the grandparents whether they want to be a nanny or a granny /grandad or grandpa. Normally they have a preference too.

What a weird thing to swear

Also, do most people not ask the grandparents what they would like to be called and go with that, assuming it's reasonable?

Don't be silly. Of course if you refer to them as granny and grandpa, then the child will call them that, or a version of that, which may or may not stick. You might end up with GaGa or something, but if you say granny, the child isn't going to suddenly decide to call her grandmother MeeMaw.

We have this with a great grandma. My cousin’s son mispronounced her name and his parents and grandparents thought it was funny, but it really grinds my dad’s gears so my children call the same great grandma her actual name.