AIBU to think that geography is not the big differentiator people think on here?

Intrigued as to where you live @DearDenimEagle

I think geography matters for some things. I don’t lock my car or my door. Kids leave toys and bikes out on the street , sometimes for days, and I’ll walk through city streets after closing time or through the parks at any time of day or night on my own without fear. I read about others being afraid to leave a door unlocked a couple of hours when their DH forgot keys and is at a friend’s, drinking, while they want to go to bed…that’s ludicrous to me.

House prices vary too. I bought a 4 bedroom 2 bath house for 55k ..would cost triple 30 miles away.

I also think loving mum has nothing to with geography. I detest mine..and it’s why I moved 300 miles away at 18. And still avoid her half a century later.

I am not born Cornish, but I have lived in Cornwall for 45 of my 70 years. And I spent a few months in Sheffield at one point. I loved the strength of loyalty to place in both areas.

People who live in towns have friends. But those friends are drawn from a much larger pool of options. If you fall out with one group of 20 or so people, you have alternative options. In many villages, there’s no other options and that is why conforming becomes more important.

for example, I live in a town, the friends I made on maternity leave were not the same women I saw on the school run when my dcs started school. The people I work with (I work locally) are another completely separate group of people. I go to a book club with 20 members, again completely different to any of the other groups, even though I can walk to meetings. I go to a weekly fitness class, none of the other attendees are from school run, work, book club, mat leave friends. We went to a restaurant in our town last week, it was full, I didn’t recognise anyone else at the other tables. Sometimes there’s cross over, for example 3 of the other mums who are at dcs dance class were school run mums, the others had dcs at different schools yet we all use this dance school. One of my mat leave friends has a dc at the same scouts as mine.

In a smaller community, there aren’t enough people for this, the same women you saw on mat leave will be the ones on the school run, if you have a job locally your colleagues are likely to be parents at the school or related to them. If you go to the local pub/restaurant or join local social clubs or sports clubs, it’ll be the same people attending because there aren’t enough different people.

And in these situations, it’s bloody important to get on with the people who are there if you don’t want to be lonely.

Some regions definitely have more than a sense of regional identity/pride than others. It's interesting that Cornwall and Yorkshire have been mentioned as both have at various points had vague designs on being independent states, so these are definitely outliers.

All regions have some regional flavour but it's not usually that strongly felt. The town I grew up in had a distinctive feel and I can usually still identify people from that town when I first meet them. But nobody in my home town has ever talked about seceding from the UK.

There are different norms though.

One place I lived, the done thing at a child's birthday party was for there to be a separate 'adults' party with nibbles and booze, while the children were entertained somewhere else at the venue. Where I grew up, it's still the norm for at home birthday parties and a slice of cake in a party bag. Where I am now, it's eat the cake before you go home, and expect everyone to be 10 mins late.

Ditto things like how often you see your family or speak to people - I speak to my parents perhaps once a month, and see them a couple of times a year, and my siblings even less. My friend is on the phone constantly with her extended family - always popping in.

Door locking is the only really different one - I live in the middle of no-where, I do lock my doors, but I don't panic about it. My parents live in a village, the same. But when I lived in the city the doors were locked and the house alarm was on.

I’m in London zone 2. I just went to the shops and not only left the back door unlocked but left it wide open for the cat. Unfortunately she’s got a mouse which she must have brought in while I was out 😱. The front door locks itself, no need to do anything

Well there are certainly places where leaving a door unlocked is pretty likely to lead to burglary, and places where it's not. There are places where crooks just go around trying door handles until they find a door that opens. Twice when living in London I was sat minding my own business and saw the handle just move.

And there are some cultural differences, of course. Like if you're in the Outer Hebrides, a lot of people are churchgoers and most things close on Sunday.

But yeah, the rest is mostly daft. I'm sure Welsh women are just as likely as any other variety of women to be ghastly people who their kids justifiably loathe.

Every Cornish person I know is VERY proud and vocal about being Cornish in the same way Yorkshire folk are. I've never met people from Kent, Worcestershire, Lincolnshire, Wiltshire, Gloucestershire like that (all counties I've lived in).

The examples you have given, I agree with.
They are outside of my experience though, which is perhaps why I feel confused.

Often they are people who have visited Cornwall. The car stickers.
A bit like when people visit Scotland and suddenly think they belong to a clan.

She's been ultra-clear that she's talking about divisive stereotypes.

The market town where I live is cliquey and inward-looking. This local culture has various effects, not all of them negative. It's explained to some extent by historical geography and commerce.

If I then go to say all market towns are cliquey, historically inbred and resistant to modern life, I'd be talking crap, wouldn't I?

I could go further and claim that people in cities have no sense of family, can't keep friendships and lack respect for English tradition. Unlike market-town dwellers, who all have close and long-standing ties going back centuries.

I agree with OP, people do this all the time and it's offensive.

No. I lived in Cornwall for 20 years and I was still a grockle. Trust me, Yorkshire and Cornwall are the two counties that have more of their own identity (for want of the right turn) than any other. Have you never noticed cars with Kernow and the Cornish flag stickers on them on motorways etc? You never see folk from Surrey, Gloucestershire, Shropshire with county flags on their cars or flown anywhere. You do in Cornwall.

Geography is a huge factor in many things though.

Then it’s really unclear what you are talking about, stripping out the nonsense Welsh mum love.

People DO behave differently depending upon where they live. It’s that simple.

I wouldn’t know. But have visited often and wouldn’t say so, no.
Did you think I was Cornish ?

Not love your mum more, but you will likely have a different relationship if you both live in the same village than if you live in London and she lives 300 miles away. But the rest,? Yes, definitely. I grew up in a London suburb and now live somewhere that everyone knows everyone. Behaviour is different. I will walk home alone in the dark ( no street lights here!) for a start. In town, i will leave my backpack on a coffee shop chair while I go to the counter - if I did that where I grew up I'd expect it to disappear when my back was turned. Kids' parties, I'd treat all the kids as if they were my own. ( Talk o them, tell them not to do something if not appropriate). Elsewhere I would turn a blind eye. Etc etc
.

Yes it’s about cultural norms in a particular place and sometimes this can mean distrust in other places. I see the thing about people leaving doors unlocked in villages or people living out in the middle of nowhere - and to me, those are the last places I would leave my house unlocked! Too many creepy films maybe, but I feel a lot safer on my estate where there are always people looking out of the window.

I’m also wondering about the ‘loving their mams’ comment and whilst I wouldn’t say its
about particular countries/areas or that people may love their family more or less, I think families do tend to be closer in working class areas where people are less likely to head out to Uni at 18 and never return. The expectation on a lot of MN that people see their parents or adult DC only a couple of times a year is quite horrifying to me.

@SomeGarlic I've just bought the book on your recommendation! Right up my street.

Cornish folk in second place! 😂

But if they think they do that because of the type of place they live in, they're wrong. Door-locking isn't a function of geography.

There's no practical advantage to leaving the door unlocked: it's not an active choice. You do it because you're lazy or forgetful. Or, going by multiple MN threads, because you're an arrogant dick who expects his wife to lock & unlock doors on your command.

I am afraid having lived there it is Yorkshire this and Yorkshire that. No other county will go on about themselves as much as they do.

Yesterday I travelled by train. In a two and a half hour journey, I chatted to a lovely Chinese lady, born in HK, moved to Singapore, and via London to the SW. Given longer, I think we could possibly become friends. And to a young Pakistani family, who migrated here three years ago, who were charming and very keen to chat, not least because they are still improving their English skills. And to a young woman travelling with two very small children without her husband (who took her and their kit to their seats on the train).

But I like people and talk to everyone on public transport, except on the Tube!

I have lived all over the place, and now I rarely lock my car or house. But I always did in London, Bristol, Sheffield and NYC!

Nobody with any sense would leave their front door unlocked around here!