All 4 of us to attend bday party?

Very selfish and self-centric to view a little child (who you don’t all know)’s birthday party as an opportunity for you to gatecrash as a family in order to have free “family time”. Weird this would even cross someone’s mind.

But it still isn't unreasonable to want to build connections as whole families together. It would be prudent to check with the hosts I agree but it's not in any way a stupid or socially unaware thing to think might be nice.

A fun day out?

You must lead a very boring life if you think a child’s birthday party is a fun day out.

It doesn't take both parents being present to build connections.

It’s not a family event fgs

Surely one of you can come up with something better to do as a family.

One of you take her and stay.
The other take the baby.

The next party invite, the other parent gets to do it.

In my circle this would be absolutely fine, but best ask. Or one of you take baby for a walk

It really isn't. If it takes a village then taking the opportunity to build that village is a nice way to approach it

I always find it really odd when two parents turn up. Unless you’ve been out and gone straight to party. Or if you’re going straight out afterwards. Happens a lot at my youngest though. The parents do seem to treat it as a day out?!

Urgh no. This used to really wind me up no matter what the setting. If the invite is for your child it’s for your child only! (And 1 parent if they are young and need an adult to stay).
I had a few bday parties at soft play/ trampoline places before which obviously any child can go to but it’s more then that you feel like you have to provide cake/food and a party bag etc for the sibling who has been brought along because they stand there watching and wanting to join in, even though you don’t have to include them you feel awful for ‘leaving a child out’ x

This party is not a networking event for OP. It's very self centred to approach it as a service for her family 😁
I've been to dozens and dozens over the years, some nursery and infants parties do invite family members to stay but these are generally in a hall or venue and the host invites parents to stay for chat and drinks.

Wow “a nice family thing to do”. NO NO NO. This is not your family time, it’s another families birthday party. Not something for you to gate crash and use as a networking/friend meeting experience.
how would you feel if you held a party for your dd and everyone turned up with mum, dad and siblings. You need to start understanding etiquette, and fast, or your dd won’t be invited anywhere ever!

If you are set on going then you need to check with the host on how they are fixed for space and maybe ask if it would be ok if you stayed, do not just presume that you can. They may appreciate an extra pair of hands, who knows. As others have said though, its not a family day out.

I can see where you're coming from, as in you want to meet new people and make friends.
I don't think a child's birthday party is the way to go about it though, sorry.
The host will have enough on, and an extra three people might be a squeeze or an inconvenience.
I'd be worried about us all getting in the way.
It's not usually the done thing at house parties, one parent there is enough. So in the kindest possible way, YABU.

I went to one of these 'everyone welcome' parties decades ago, and the whole thing became about the adults, with the birthday child and his friends completely overlooked.

My own kids' parties were always at our house and always drop and go. That way DH and I could focus on the fun activities for the kids and managing them all. But that was in the days when drop and go was expected from about four years old!

Yes. A fun day out because it's a chance to meet people. Not odd at all.

It's how she phrased it as if it's a fun day out for her family. With 10 children invited if all come as a family you'd have 30-40 people milling around in someone's kitchen or garden.

because it would be a nice family thing to do on a weekend
It's not a day out, it's a child's birthday party. Unless the invite says parents welcome to stay for drinks and nibbles, one parent stays at that age.

It's really not that big a deal. OP has the social awareness to want to make friends and to understand that families meeting families can be a lot more beneficial in the long run than just the mums meeting.

Yes it might be a bit awkward if it ends up too crowded but it's so far from being the huge faux pas people are making it out to be it's laughable.

Whenever this comes up on MN a ton of posters will say "it's not a family day out" but I think it really depends on the nursery.

Our toddler has just had the first wave of birthday parties and initially they were all out at soft plays and the like. In the vast majority of cases both parents came. Our nursery is quite friendly - small town, children often go to the park together after nursery, in most cases both parents share drop offs and pick ups so people do get to know each other.

When the first at home invitation came I thought back to a MN thread where the general consensus was that both parents going was an absolute no, and a friend said the same. But in the end all bar a few children had both parents there, and the hosts seemed perfectly chilled about it! They'd put out plenty of beers etc. and it was a nice sunny weekend, so all fairly relaxed.

One way to test the water would be to say something along the lines of: "Is it ok to bring the baby? No problem if makes things tricky - DH can come instead". Best case scenario is you get an along the lines of "the more the merrier - look forward to seeing you all".

This surely is a reverse if I have ever seen one? I mean I'm hoping it's a reverse as surely no one can have that little social awareness? 😬

I vaguely remember seeing this when my e were younger. I used to think they were potty as parties can be hard work!

But it depends on venue. If large enough it can be a nice way to meet people.

Good luck though! You are at the early stages of the parenting fun and kids , friendships, and parties .... Have wine ready!

As it would be a nice family thing to do, maybe invite your own parents along too.

Party's Ive held at home, most dads turned up too! Wouldn't think anything of it.

Parties ive held at venues its been a mix of one and 2 parents.

I live in a town rather than a big city (where it seems you have to follow unspoken etiquette a lot more closely)!!

1 adult, baby is irrelevant.

Assuming it’s nursery which puts it at under 4, one parent staying is fine (I Ben with the newborn). But more than that no …