All 4 of us to attend bday party?

Went to one last week and I was the odd one out being a solo parent, literally every other child had both parents there. Maybe area dependent? I’m in the SE

Wanting to meet other familes and make friends - you are right that's not ludicrous, agreed. But going to someone's home whom you don't know broadly uninvited except your child without asking first assuming it is ok and that there will be enough space and consumables, calling it a nice family outing- that's ludicrous.

If they want to spend time with other families to get to know them, be a normal person and arrange a play date.

Definitely only one parent. It’s far too much to host 2 parents per family. And not the best start to potential new friendships!

There is a family in my DS’s class who do this, and everyone else thinks they’re strange to do so. Sorry.

OP probably hopefully got the message now.
Hope her kid and the birthday child have fun.
I knew someone through toddler groups and pre school who'd jump on a and opportunity to get free food and fun for her family (they were very well off), but were takers. The OP thinking this could be a fun day out for her family reminded me of her.

Usually at age 4, a parent would be expected to stay but think both of you in someone's house is a bit unnecessary. In a public place like a soft play or trampoline park it would be ok.

If they’ve got a small house, this is the last thing they’ll want! Ring them and have a conversation.

No definitely not the thing to do. It’s worthwhile checking if your child needs to be dropped off and collected, or if they’re expecting a parent to be there. If the latter then it would be acceptable for a babe in arms to be there too.

If it’s at someone’s house, it’s likely they’ll just be expecting one child (as invited). They definitely won’t expect a family of four turning up. They’ll likely now have enough space. It would totally throw them out. Totally different if you know the family well but even then the invitation would make it clear all were invited.

Please don’t just turn up! It will likely be embarrassing!

Hmmm clearly this depends place to place because at our school birthday parties both parents and baby in arms do usually turn up. Has been the case since DS was 3, he’s 5 now. I usually assume both parents will turn up but we’re all becoming friends now. I would ask the host, I doubt they’ll get offended by you asking. It becomes rocky ground when siblings are old enough to eat and participate. Before that it’s been fine for us.

It is a nice thing but only after you've laid the groundwork and got to know the families, it isn't the opportunity to do so. One of you go this year, make plans to get to know some of the other families one on one and next year you will just know who expects you "en masse" and who you don't know well enough.

How many names are in the invite?

Why don't people understand this wnd stop inviting themselves to places they have no business being.

Omg no dont do that. Its an invite for your child not a "nice family" event. Its also at someone's house so space will be limited. Kids whose both parents rock up to beithday parties with siblings in tow rarely get invited again to birthday parties. One of you take her and the other stays home with the sibling.

One parent to nursery-aged party is fine. Your DH can stay at home w the baby. Or bring the baby if they’re b/f - but not another adult.

Really? Because every party I've ever taken DC to the parents have chatted and built up social relationships like normal human beings.

I can’t imagine thinking that going to a stranger’s house for the party of an unknown kid is a nice thing to do as a family. It’s a nursery party your kid has been invited to. One of you take her. The party is for the kids and the parents will just be there in a supervisory capacity cos the kids are too young to be left.

No someone's party is not a family outing

....would be a nice family thing to do on a weekend.

No it wouldn't. It's a horrible thing to do to the host. You're more likely to lose friends than to gain them if you all turn up.

DH and I see kids parties as a chance to divide and conquer and one of us has free time (or one on one time with the other DC, we have an only child)

I find it odd when both parents attend kids parties

We have lots of quality family time. Other kids parties are not quality family time IMO

My kids are older now and whilst I'd say it's not the done thing once kids are school age (and that's often a drop and run) and definitely not if it's a pay per entry party (though a babe in arms sibling wouldn't get charged), in my experience it isn't hugely unusual for both parents to come to nursery parties, even home based ones. Most come with just one parent but some with two and possibly a younger sibling.

I remember having a home party when my daughter was 3 and invited some "nursery friends" she wanted. I was a bit nervous about it as I didn't know any of the parents from Adam! I think some felt the same as two kids came with both parents and one with a sibling, I think it's natural to be nervous that you won't know the other parents and have anyone to talk to. It was actually fine and everyone got on well. It would have been a squeeze if all kids had brought two parents but an extra few was ok. If in doubt, text the host and see if the space allows and say that you won't be offended if it's a no. You might find they say the more the merrier.

Bringing older siblings is a no-no unless it's completely unavoidable. I know a couple of families who did that habitually and they were judged and their invitations decreased, which is a shame for the kids. (I know that's not what you asked but thought I'd mention as you are new to the party circuit.)

I have seen both parents going to parties which I find odd as why would you? But in someone's house definitely not. One of you go and one stay home with baby.

Get your DH to take her if you don’t want to leave your newborn. Look at it this way as a nice thing for your DD to do with her daddy.

Not to someone’s house - but as not everyone will do it, no harm done.

Oh honey, no.

there are a million other things you and your husband and kids could do if you want a nice family day out

God no, i would be fuming if i held a birthday party in my home and 2 extra people turned up. It’s a house not a hall.

You must only have boring children’s parties in your circle.