All 4 of us to attend bday party?

Yeah no, this would be weird overkill vibes, but also rude especially in someone else's home. What if every child rocked up in a band of 4...crammed house and possibly not enough snacks or drinks to go round (if these are offered). I agree one parent remains at home with baby. Is it even that one parent is staying with each party going child? Often it's drop and go....

DD2 has just been invited to a nursery friend’s bday party next weekend. Not sure on the etiquette here - both my husband and I would like to take her (because it would be a nice family thing to do on a weekend and also to potentially make some new parent friends). We also have a newborn baby who would be with us.

My question is, would it be unreasonable for all 4 of us to rock up? Is that weird? It is at someone’s house. We don’t know them, never spoken, just have a number to RSVP to and invite came via nursery bag.

Your experience is not universal though, if OP isn’t sure then it’s better to be cautious since she clearly doesn’t know the parents well enough, but for many people parties of preschoolers is an family thing.

No that’s rude. If DD is young enough a parent needs to stay, that’s fine. But it’s not a family outing.

The heat in some of these replies! I’m asking the question because I genuinely don’t know the etiquette (as I wrote). DD is only 2 so we’ve not come across this before. We had a party in our home for her 2nd birthday and every child attended with both parents, but we’d assumed that would be the case and so I wanted to check whether others would make the same assumption. I’m not being entitled or a “taker” at all - if I was, I wouldn’t ask the question or worry about getting it right. Also, as for the family time thing, weekends are family time and we like to be together - that’s what I mean. We don’t usually split up and do separate things as we like to spend the time as a family. Again, I’m questioning whether that’s the right thing to do in this scenario and I gather that it isn’t. So I have my answer! Thanks for all the helpful replies, it is genuinely insightful. As for anyone enraged by a simple question, well I’m not sure what I can say to help you…!

One parent is to be expected but not double to numbers. Do you really not see why, at a party at home, all these extra random people could be a problem?? And how it puts the host family in the extremely awkward position of having to ask people to leave??
You own a three bed semi.
You invite 8 kids and expect them to come along with 1 parent.
All these families turn up, without asking, with 2 parents and all their children. So now you’ve got a a minimum of 32 people in your house. All whom you have to entertain and give drinks to. Can you really not see why this could be an issue?? You don’t go if you’re not invited. That is simple manners.

Who has been invited? A child too young to be left. So it's already an invitation wider than the actual named person.

It's really not completely unreasonable to think that 2 adults would be welcome when 1 is when 1 isn't named. And the baby doesn't count.

It's just not in any way a big deal that justifies the astounded responses on here. It's weird anyone is making such a big deal of what might be, at worst, slightly unusual a choice

But it’s not a reasonable scenario. You don’t turn up to someone’s house with extra people who are not invited! If you’d been invited to a house party would you turn up with 3 extra friends???

It's not you. The replies that are so incensed by a completely reasonable scenario are bonkers.

The heat in some of these replies! I’m asking the question because I genuinely don’t know the etiquette (as I wrote). DD is only 2 so we’ve not come across this before. We had a party in our home for her 2nd birthday and every child attended with both parents, but we’d assumed that would be the case and so I wanted to check whether others would make the same assumption. I’m not being entitled or a “taker” at all - if I was, I wouldn’t ask the question or worry about getting it right. Also, as for the family time thing, weekends are family time and we like to be together - that’s what I mean. We don’t usually split up and do separate things as we like to spend the time as a family. Again, I’m questioning whether that’s the right thing to do in this scenario and I gather that it isn’t. So I have my answer! Thanks for all the helpful replies, it is genuinely insightful. As for anyone enraged by a simple question, well I’m not sure what I can say to help you…!

Wanting to meet other familes and make friends - you are right that's not ludicrous, agreed. But going to someone's home whom you don't know broadly uninvited except your child without asking first assuming it is ok and that there will be enough space and consumables, calling it a nice family outing- that's ludicrous.

If they want to spend time with other families to get to know them, be a normal person and arrange a play date.

The heat in some of these replies! I’m asking the question because I genuinely don’t know the etiquette (as I wrote). DD is only 2 so we’ve not come across this before. We had a party in our home for her 2nd birthday and every child attended with both parents, but we’d assumed that would be the case and so I wanted to check whether others would make the same assumption. I’m not being entitled or a “taker” at all - if I was, I wouldn’t ask the question or worry about getting it right. Also, as for the family time thing, weekends are family time and we like to be together - that’s what I mean. We don’t usually split up and do separate things as we like to spend the time as a family. Again, I’m questioning whether that’s the right thing to do in this scenario and I gather that it isn’t. So I have my answer! Thanks for all the helpful replies, it is genuinely insightful. As for anyone enraged by a simple question, well I’m not sure what I can say to help you…!

No definitely not the thing to do. It’s worthwhile checking if your child needs to be dropped off and collected, or if they’re expecting a parent to be there. If the latter then it would be acceptable for a babe in arms to be there too.

If it’s at someone’s house, it’s likely they’ll just be expecting one child (as invited). They definitely won’t expect a family of four turning up. They’ll likely now have enough space. It would totally throw them out. Totally different if you know the family well but even then the invitation would make it clear all were invited.

Please don’t just turn up! It will likely be embarrassing!