To feel like the bond I had with my children has gone?

I think this is normal small child conversation, he sounds very sweet and as though he wants a chat with you. In this instance I would have talked to my child more about the thin motorbike, and why bikes are the size that they are.
When you say the bond has gone, that suggests that you did feel bonded in the past, so what has changed ? Of course children can be really hard work, it can be exhausting, boring and frustrating looking after toddlers or little ones, but it really shouldn’t feel like that all the time. Seems as though you are stuck in a cycle of resentment that your children aren’t different, that you expected something else, when it might be better to accept that this is just what little kids are like some of the time, and focus on enjoying what you can make enjoyable. Do distracting things together, get outside and let them run about, rain or shine. Make things. Read to them. Let your older one help cook. I would get stir crazy in the house and have to get them out.
Very few women can be super enthusiastic all the time with small children, when they themselves are tired or fed up, but you do need to act with enthusiasm and affection. Toddler tantrums like teenage ones, are hard to deal with and different things work for different children, but that stage passes quickly.
Do you think that you are depressed, or angry that this isn’t how you imagined it would be ? Or perhaps both ? You have had sensible advice about seeing your GP, but also I have found that my attitude and energy is very contagious in the house and that was particularly true when my dc were tiny. Children are highly sensitive to the feelings of their parents, and take their cues from them, so stop blaming your children. This is not their fault, they don’t sound like particularly unusual children, they are just little.
Whatever is going on with you and your DH, is for you two to sort out, and in the meantime try and be as cheerful, kind and generous as possible to your dc and they will pick up on that and reflect it back to you.
You need your DH to step up more, and if you feel overwhelmed (as we all do at times), and need to walk around the block for five minutes to get perspective and calm down, they he should be facilitating that and vice versa.

Surely you realise that how you behave towards them and around them impacts them ? Pp don't know how you are with them, they are just going on the tone of your posts.

Fair enough

I doubt your DH is on a thread somewhere agonising over this

it is hard when the buck always stops with you

I know this is a bigger thing to tackle but it really does sound like your main problem is your DH rather than your kids

what do you think he would do if you told him how close to the edge you are? Is there any way of making him step up at all?

I don’t mean to project my stuff onto you but I know that for me, sometimes I find that my anger towards my DH gets directed to my kids - when he’s there being lazy or useless (he’s not always but it has happened quite a lot) and I feel everything is down to me, I get snappier and angrier with them. I know it’s not their fault. I don’t have a magic solution for this obv, but I notice and try my best to be self aware enough not to be unkind to them. Deeps breaths etc.

its hard tbh

That might be your starting point in working this out. Do you view observations about your situation as personal attacks, generally?
You (plural;parents) need to make the time and space to get to the bottom of this. Your children sound lovely. It’s on you guys to find a way to parent them. At the moment, all of your lives sound miserable. That’s on you two to fix.

Hi OP. When I read their ages I immediately understood. My eldest DD is nearly 8, and good lord she is SO much easier. I can leave her at birthday parties, she doesn’t get as upset as easily as her 5 year old sister, and is SO much more rational than my younger DD. Youngest DD is very sweet, but at 5, the conversation isn’t exactly exciting. They talk about the most inane, boring things a lot of the time! As for age 2 - well, I wouldn’t want to go back there!

That said, your feelings are extreme. What sort of break do you get? Do you work? Is the youngest one in childcare at all? Do you have friends with kids the same age? If not, can your kids join something where you can meet people, like a toddler group, or maybe beavers for your DS?

I would also highly recommend a visit to the GP. I take a very low dose of Venlafaxine, which helps me enormously.

It’s not picking fault, but it does sound as though you are struggling with parenting your children, for whatever reason. It’s not your children’s fault. It’s yours and your DH’s to manage.

You are right you can pick and choose what suits , can you pinpoint when these feelings started?

Fwiw children's behaviour is rarely down to food, as long as they have a semi decent diet they bumble along just fine.

Well you can do a combination you don't have to follow every detail of everything you read, you are maybe overwhelmed with information and that mixed in with a father who has checked out and possible mental health issues, your life is chaos, your children are only little and are chaotic because you there is no calm and it is a cycle of behaviour that you are not coping with,

When did the spiral start ?

What are your dh’s working hours, and what does he do outside of work?

I couldn't agree more, even though I have suggested TV as a break for OP.

I am sorry you’re finding it so hard op. Mine are grown up but trying to thibk what I would do and I think it would dressed and out at weekends. All four of you. Wellies and rainwear if needed Park, ducks etc walk in woods, shopping , anything but out and keeping them busy and everyone getting fresh air or just air. Take a picnic or get some cheap lunch somewhere to be in late afternoon when you can then some TV ( hopefully down time for you) bath, dinner bed.It sounds like you are cooped up a bit? No judgement from me. Hope things improve soon x edited to add play dates with other families ? I was fortunate that a few of us would meet up in the park when the weather was ok. Kids played with other kids , adults had adult chat (with an eye on the kids of course)

So stick the TV on, stick DC in front of it with packets of crisps and chill out.

No you use their repetition and turn it around by saying ok I'm going out on my bike then, bye. She'll want to go with you and will get dressed.

You work part-time when your younger one is at nursery, so you NEVER get a break. That is very tough. It's tough for the kids too because you are tired and run down. Their behaviour sounds totally normal, but they sound a little bit starved of loving attention, which makes them more demanding. I had similar when my kids were that age. My advice.
It will get easier ... but not for a while.
Meanwhile:
Get bloods done in case you are anaemic or low on something.
Put your phone away while they are awake.
Tell your partner you are on the verge of a breakdown and he has to have both kids for a couple of hours minimum twice a week.
Wish you all the best. It's a hard job but it does get easier.

Also for your son, monologuing is pretty normal but truthfully he's trying to connect to you because you're not trying to connect to him. That's his way of trying.

Regarding the bike example. I'd say, "ok I'm going out on my bike now, see you later." And she'd say, "I want to come!" And I'd say "ok, get dressed then and we can go."

I did this type of thing countless times in loads of different situations and it worked so well!

Not read all the previous thread, but I'd ask your GP to run basic blood tests including iron & vit D. If your vit D is less than 100nmol/L or so, or ferritin less than 100/transferrin saturation less than 20%, those could well be the reasons for struggling. I fall back into burnout whenever my iron levels drop. Vit D is also important for oxytocin production which helps with family bonding.

My final thoughts on this thread despite the fact I know I will get flamed. The simple fact is not everyone is cut out to dedicate their lives to raising children because in effect when you decide to have a child that is part of the bargain. Those who wkan up every day & think I'm so grateful to have this little soul in my life I would spend every second of every day nurturing them if I didn't have to work. Then on days off they happily do exactly that despite feeling drained & exhausted with their demands. If I was to list the positive contribution by children have made to my life I would be here all day. Yes it's hard, yes it's tiring, yes there are days when I think would I do all this again. My answer was always without a doubt yes. Sadly not all parents feel the same to the detriment of the children they brought into the workd