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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like the bond I had with my children has gone?

257 replies

ifeelasido · 14/06/2026 07:30

That’s an awful title but it probably best summarises how I’m feeling at the moment.

Everything they do annoys me and a lot of it makes me really angry. I don’t even know why, repeated disobedience, the silliness, the long monologues my five year old subjects me to regularly. I just want to say - shut up, you are boring the hell out of me and I don’t care.

I feel numb. I’m sure they are trying to connect with me but I just feel detached and as if they are nothing to do with me. Then someone does something that kind of spurs me into action and I lose it.

I wish to god there was a way to reverse decisions like this, of course there isn’t. You’re stuck with it and everyone judges you for saying it out loud. But I just don’t feel as if I love or even like them very much.

OP posts:
concertinacornflake · 14/06/2026 07:41

ifeelasido · 14/06/2026 07:37

Is there (help out there I mean)? I hope so but I just feel detached and like I’m in a fog. I imagine this is what full on depression feels like.

Yes there is help for depression - you can start at the GP, or with a therapist (check credentials!) or with radical self-care. You may not find your answer quickly but yes there is help.

The important thing is recognising you need the help - which you've done in this thread.

concertinacornflake · 14/06/2026 07:39

It sounds like you need emotional support.

Parenting is hard work in itself, it's tiring and leaves limited time for self-care and self-expression.

Parenting also brings up any historic issues in your own childhood, if your own parents were unhappy it can resurface.

I feel numb. I’m sure they are trying to connect with me but I just feel detached and as if they are nothing to do with me. Then someone does something that kind of spurs me into action and I lose it.

You could start with a GP, a therapist or with radical self-care, but what you describe is not inevitable and not unchangeable.

The question is why you feel this way - it isn't due to your children, there's something going on for you.

Original poster
ifeelasido · 14/06/2026 07:37

Is there (help out there I mean)? I hope so but I just feel detached and like I’m in a fog. I imagine this is what full on depression feels like.

OP posts:
Original poster
ifeelasido · 14/06/2026 07:36

Partner is just as depressed as me, has retreated physically and emotionally.

OP posts:
FartNRoses · 14/06/2026 07:36

@ifeelasidoHow old are your children and how old are you?

Evaka · 14/06/2026 07:33

That's very rough OP. Sounds like you're not in a great place mentally. Do you have a partner? Have you shared any of these feelings with a trusted friend or GP? I'd imagine you'd be surprised by how many mothers feel completely suffocated and there's absolutely help out there x

HoneysuckleIvy · 14/06/2026 07:33

Parenting young children is hard and often very boring!!
You sound like you are overwhelmed and need a break. Do you have a partner to share the load with?