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AIBU?

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AIBU to worry that bringing chocolates to an interview was inappropriate?

208 replies

Thebigwideworld · 13/06/2026 22:00

I think I’ve messed up the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had and cannot stop overthinking it and worrying about it😢

im in the process of getting a trainee/graduate position sorted for after graduation. Some firms are really popular and sought after and notoriously difficult to get a position in. I’ve got to the final interview stage at my absolute number 1 choice. I already interviewed online and passed the initial stages (including a group session which wasn’t hosted at the firm itself) and the last stage was an in person interview at the firm and also for them to show you round and meet different people for the day.

I don’t know why I thought it was the done-thing to do, but I brought chocolates for them to say thank you for having me for the afternoon. It was a large box of Belgian chocolates from m&s. I just sort of thought there was a lot of people giving up their time to show me round, chat to me and interview and I just thought it was the sort of thing you did in this situation to say thank you! Sort of like last day of work experience when you bring gifts to thank people for giving up their time

I briefly mentioned it to my friends who were a bit like wtf, why would you do that, and a bit flabbergasted that I thought I should do it. They said I’m going to look like I’m trying to win them over and that it makes me look immature and really unaware for doing it for not realising it’s all just an interview and they’re not showing me round out the good of their heart

I think it just sort of left me that it was all a big giant interview process and I just thought hey, they’re giving up their time to meet me and show me stuff, I’ll get them a little thing to say thank you because that’s what you’re supposed to do?! But I sort of lost sight that them showing me round and all the people meeting me were all just part of the interview process, and now I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot

just so as to not drop feed, I didn’t grow up with parents and had to teach myself a lot of stuff like this, especially social situations and formal work stuff. It’s all completely new to me and I don’t have anyone to go back to and ask for advice unfortunately.

i really wanted this position, and now im worried sick I’ve blown it and made myself look stupid, or that I didn’t appreciate that it was all part of the interview process (which in turn makes me look stupid too). Does anyone work at a firm and could advise me if I’ve made myself look like a complete idiot?

thanks😢

OP posts:
cafenoirbiscuit · 14/06/2026 08:27

I think it was a lovely gesture, and shows you as a thoughtful person, ready to acknowledge all co-workers at every level, which makes you a real team player. I love that it sparked a conversation when you handed over the chocs.
you’ll be a great colleague, with your attitude.
good luck - all will be good

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 14/06/2026 08:20

Absolutely nothing to worry about. If they have decided you are the right person for the job, this wouldn’t affect that.
What it has done is given them a (nice) reason to remember you and also gave you an easy ‘in’ to have further conversation on the day with others (cheap student meals etc) which will have demonstrated your personality so it’s all good.

Fingers crossed that you get it. Good luck! 🤞

pepayfelix · 14/06/2026 08:19

I sent a thank you card to the tutor after my Oxford interview. I didn’t get the place and have always wondered if it was inappropriate or twee of me to do that.

Just chalk it up as a lesson learnt, there is no shame in trying to be nice.

Mousespoons · 14/06/2026 08:16

Thebigwideworld · 13/06/2026 22:10

That’s what I was so worried about- in case it looked like I was trying to buy them over with gifts or something!

honestly, I don’t know why I did it- I think I just sort of went into autopilot and just assumed it was the done thing and didn’t even think about it.

it’s actually quite hard because no one teaches you this sort of etiquette and I’ve had to fill in all the blanks myself over the years and i think I’ve just filled this one in completely wrongly!🙃

they actually seemed to like it and were happy- I just said this is for the staffroom/kitchen to say thanks to all the staff that spent time with me today (receptionist, current trainee, partner etc) but actually they were all spending time with me to gauge what I was like as part of the interview process, and I’ve made myself look completely immature and daft by giving chocolates as if it was a school trip day out or work experience

I’ve got my fingers crossed this doesn’t mess up my chances because if it does I’ll be soo frustrated with myself x

I work in a vets. This sort of thing goes down very well in our place. We are annoyed if a rep comes in empty handed. A bit different for an interview I suppose but it would make us think that you were a thoughtful person/team player.

ThatLilacTiger · 14/06/2026 08:10

It's very unusual and definitely shows how green you are but it's not strictly speaking a bad thing. I can see how the panel might think you were trying to 'bribe' them but it's a piece of a larger puzzle. If you came across as sweet, grateful etc then I'd give you the benefit of the doubt. If you seemed entitled and arrogant then I'd assume you were trying to curry favour. Since you say it was a genuine act then I'm sure you'll have come across as just a bit of a clueless newbie trying to be nice, which wouldn't count against you.

HoneyPie12 · 14/06/2026 08:05

I think that's just lovely and shows what kind of person you are - thoughtful kind and sweet. I wouldn't read it as a "bribe" and I interview people for a living. It's different from the people who get thier CV printed on cakes or doughnuts and no one blinks an eye at that. Also why shouldn't you stand out a bit and be memorable- it's a dog eat dog world out there and you miss all of the shots you don't take! (Other slogans that go on shit mugs also available ;) )

MandemChickenShop · 14/06/2026 07:47

Worked for Forest Gump. I would hire you. Thinking outside the box....of chocolates

gopherit · 14/06/2026 07:33

Please don't let the negative comments land OP. It seems the chocolates were kindly received, which actually tells you something about them! I really hope you get the position. Do let us all know how you get on. Best of luck! Flowers

KTMeetsTheRsUptown · 14/06/2026 07:32

I think that was really thoughtful of you OP and will make you stand out from the crowd.
I hope that they pick you. Best of luck 🤞

eveningprimrose74 · 14/06/2026 07:18

I once went to the job centre to sort out my CV. I brought the lady a marsbar as a pay it forward kind gesture, she told me very bluntly she couldn't accept gifts as they would be seen as bribes.
She was only doing my CV? I will keep my own mars bar then.
If they didn't like you then you wouldn't of got to the final bit. It's too see if you fit in with them all.

OneThreadOnlybyN · 14/06/2026 07:05

PollyBell · 14/06/2026 00:52

This sums it up perfectly

You being your usual charming self...

OneThreadOnlybyN · 14/06/2026 07:03

Elsa24 · 14/06/2026 00:46

Honestly, if this sense of ambiguity gives you anxiety, you’re going to struggle in corporate roles

Meeeeow.

unnecessary. Just why?? Actually don't bother, I don't need to know why you felt the need.

WhereAreWeNow · 14/06/2026 07:03

It's definitely not what usually happens in interviews but it was a sweet gesture and I don’t think it will be held against you.
Agree with others that you sound lovely and I hope you get the job!

Sartre · 14/06/2026 06:54

I think it’s sweet, they won’t overthink this and it sounds like they reacted well anyway. They’ll obviously know you’re a recent grad so young and inexperienced. If they want you for the job, this won’t put them off. Good luck!

Caloriecountskick · 14/06/2026 06:50

You sounds really lovely and I am rooting for you that you get the job!

Pogpog21 · 14/06/2026 06:46

Hello - you poor thing stressing about this.i spent a long time at a top law firm. Yes it’s a bit unusual and they might have thought “that’s a bit odd” but it wouldn’t impact your chances. They know you are a trainee and will be expecting to grow and shape you so being “immature” is sort of a given. I think it’s very sweet. I wish you luck.

Ilovemychocolate · 14/06/2026 05:49

Elsa24 · 14/06/2026 00:46

Honestly, if this sense of ambiguity gives you anxiety, you’re going to struggle in corporate roles

What a nasty thing to say.
OP probably grew up in care, and has had to navigate everything herself.
She is also very young, and just starting out.
Do you feel good about yourself, being so detrimental to someone asking for reassurance?

Ilovemychocolate · 14/06/2026 05:45

It’s been a long time since I interviewed but I think it’s a lovely gesture, and shows lovely manners!
I also grew up without any parental guidance, and had to learn everything myself, but you sound lovely and I really wish you well, I’m sure you will go far x

DoloresDelEriba · 14/06/2026 05:21

Not heard of this before but try not to worry. Sounds like you have had to navigate a lot on your own. You are doing great. I wish you luck with the job. 🤗

Skippinglightly · 14/06/2026 05:18

Someone gave out individual chocolate medallions at an interview presentation for a corporate role. I can’t remember how he worked it in but it made him memorable and left a good impression. He got the job and was first class in the role.

LeftieRightsHoarder · 14/06/2026 05:04

Best of luck, OP. You’ve done well getting this far without any help. I would consider the chocolates a sign that you’re a team player who will fit in well, so I hope you get the job xx

Ocelotfeet27 · 14/06/2026 04:31

I think given they were teasing and joking with you about it I think they took it well so wouldn't worry any more about it. I also think whether you've had advice and been brought up with good role models or not getting your first proper job is a learning curve for everyone and employers know that. So don't worry. Honestly I don't think it will make a difference either way - so if you don't get it don't fret about that. You did a kind thing.

Londog · 14/06/2026 03:43

You’ve obviously got a lovely “soft centre’ 😉
Good luck for the position after studying so hard 🎓
Do let us all know 🤞🏽

crunchycrackers · 14/06/2026 03:34

I have a staff member who I managed for a while, and they keep in touch with me to ask how I am and once they gave me a gift from overseas travel. I think it is a nice gesture and thought not much more of it, however it wouldn’t make the point of difference between them and other candidates for a spot in my team.

I think just google a lot of etiquette tips if you are unsure if it is the done thing. I’m similar had no navigation for these sorts of things myself at the start of my career and I didn’t really have google back then to help lol. Sometimes you stumble sometimes not, just chalk it up to experience.

canuckup · 14/06/2026 02:22

I think they'll take your youth and good intentions into consideration and offer you the job 🤞

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