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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

920 replies

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:39

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

OP posts:
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Newusername0 · 15/06/2026 20:57

MissRaspberryRipples · 15/06/2026 18:45

Have you seen what I've said is wrong with some of these comments? I'm not at all saying they're wrong to disagree, they're wrong to be cooking up some weird incestuous allegations purely for a son and mum being close in nothing more than a mother and son way.....or did you conveniently not see those kind of comments?

You want me to focus on other posters in your thread OP? …

TheBlueKoala · 15/06/2026 19:48

MissRaspberryRipples · 15/06/2026 15:51

I've asked Mumsnet to remove the post two days ago as it's getting out of hand now, I can get people are entitled to agree or disagree but it's absolutely out of order to indicate something as sinister as incest going on-for that to enter anyone's mind questions what goes through their own minds about thinking it's wrong to have a close relationship with a son without thinking it's nothing but disgusting freakish or creepy

I am very close to my sons- I love them more than life itself. But I know when to take a step aside and let them shine by themselves. I know that right now (13 and 16) their friends are more important to them than I am and in the future there will be girlfriends/wives/children that will be more important to them than I am. And that's fine. I can love them from the side line and be happy and proud for their accomplishments without needing to insert myself as one of the main characters in their lives.

Substance · 15/06/2026 19:22

MissRaspberryRipples · 15/06/2026 18:45

Have you seen what I've said is wrong with some of these comments? I'm not at all saying they're wrong to disagree, they're wrong to be cooking up some weird incestuous allegations purely for a son and mum being close in nothing more than a mother and son way.....or did you conveniently not see those kind of comments?

OP, out of the many hundreds of posts on your thread, and the 6174 votes (so far), only a handful made gross insinuations, and most of those were in jest (although still out of order, I agree). 99.9 percent just said buying a new matching dress and shoes for prom photos with your child was cringe and please don't do it.

category12 · 15/06/2026 19:06

Gotta keep stoking the thread so it makes 40 pages. Why give up now?

Oddlyfuller2 · 15/06/2026 19:04

Talk about being a sucker for punishment.

You started a thread about something that apparently everyone in RL including the important person (DS) thinks is absolutely fine apart from your Boyf who isn’t ds’ dad.

And then you have continued to return despite 98% voting against you and you being clearly angered by the response.

Just maybe hide the thread? Worth a shot!

MissRaspberryRipples · 15/06/2026 18:45

Newusername0 · 15/06/2026 17:02

OP ‘I’d like to dress up to co-ord outfits for prom photos with my son, is that weird?’

Everyone ‘Yes, that’s not something anyone does, ever’!

OP ‘you’re all wrong!’

😂😂😂

Have you seen what I've said is wrong with some of these comments? I'm not at all saying they're wrong to disagree, they're wrong to be cooking up some weird incestuous allegations purely for a son and mum being close in nothing more than a mother and son way.....or did you conveniently not see those kind of comments?

OP posts:
JustGiveMeTheNoodles · 15/06/2026 18:43

Look forward to reading your dauggter in laws posts in 15 years

ihavetocookagain · 15/06/2026 18:36

TedMosbysWife · 13/06/2026 14:46

Why are mum of boys like this ?

Woah there, I’m a mum of 2 boys both who have had proms and I never did this!!!

lebin · 15/06/2026 18:14

I would have found it super weird if my mum did this and she is my favourite person in the world! She took a photo of me and had it framed (still sits proudly in her cabinet) and she took some photos of me with my best friend. We have lots of photos together but they are from events/ holidays we attended together.

ThisFluentOtter · 15/06/2026 17:19

OP is definitely wearing white to that poor lad's wedding isn't she

Fortunefavoursthebrave · 15/06/2026 17:07

Very strange sorry, it’s his night not yours

Newusername0 · 15/06/2026 17:02

OP ‘I’d like to dress up to co-ord outfits for prom photos with my son, is that weird?’

Everyone ‘Yes, that’s not something anyone does, ever’!

OP ‘you’re all wrong!’

😂😂😂

Mypyjamasarebaggy · 15/06/2026 16:34

I think this is what my 14 year old would call ‘Ultimate Cringe’. Sorry

NotThisShitAgain121 · 15/06/2026 16:34

This is creepy. The night is not about you. Dont do it

Onmytod24 · 15/06/2026 16:28

Have you told him of this thread?

Padz12 · 15/06/2026 16:12

😂 Absolutely not!
Let him enjoy his night, it has nothing to do with you, it’s all about him!
my son would have been mortified if I’d done that!
We had photos at home but I didn’t dress up, they’re still lovely memories…….of HIS night!

LaLoba · 15/06/2026 15:57

DareDevil223 · 13/06/2026 16:35

If true, this is giving Arrested Development "Motherboy" vibes

I was hoping to see this! 😂

Lillabet · 15/06/2026 15:54

I asked my DS his opinion on this (his prom was last year) his response was surprisingly polite: "Politely, no mother, just no. School is a cruel, cruel place and you do not need this following you up to college." He went to a friend's house for pre-prom where they all had pictures together whilst the parents had a bit of a drink and a reminisce. I was smartly dressed, but not to match my son, as I was playing chauffeuse and taking them all to prom (and back) in my big red bus. My son wouldn't get anywhere near to me to allow anyone to take a photo of us together 😂 frankly, I count myself lucky he allowed photos at all, he's usually allergic to a camera! Some of his friends had photos with their parents, some did not, but I can promise none of the parents were matchy matchy. I'd kindly suggest, have the mum and son photos if he's amenable but save the dress for date night.

MissRaspberryRipples · 15/06/2026 15:51

cheekynamechang3 · 15/06/2026 07:38

Yes of course, as long as you don't imply incest, say her son is gay because he hasn't got a girlfriend (srsly), willfully ignore the text in the msg where she says she's posing for photos in the garden and therefore NOT attending the prom with him...or say she's a complete freak and nightmare mum.

Many posters have said all of the above which is why they have been accused of being bullies.

ETA and now people are picking up the fact she's ordered a dress from Shein.

I have no idea about the mentality of some of the posters in MN. This OP is a real person with feelings. I'm sure she gets it, most people think she's BU.

OP, if I were you, I'd disable notifications and not log in for a while... or ask for your thread to be pulled. It'll not be good for your MH to keep reading comments here.

Edited

I've asked Mumsnet to remove the post two days ago as it's getting out of hand now, I can get people are entitled to agree or disagree but it's absolutely out of order to indicate something as sinister as incest going on-for that to enter anyone's mind questions what goes through their own minds about thinking it's wrong to have a close relationship with a son without thinking it's nothing but disgusting freakish or creepy

OP posts:
greenpolkadot55 · 15/06/2026 15:44

Gingirl84 · 15/06/2026 15:07

Absolutely not you don’t dress up to match him your his mum not his date!! God help his wife in the future is all I’m saying

I was just thinking the same

greenpolkadot55 · 15/06/2026 15:43

Do mums go to proms now Or is it photos at home ?
As others have said.. You're making it all about you.. Won't your son be embarrassed ?

Gingirl84 · 15/06/2026 15:07

Absolutely not you don’t dress up to match him your his mum not his date!! God help his wife in the future is all I’m saying

Gingirl84 · 15/06/2026 15:06

TedMosbysWife · 13/06/2026 14:46

Why are mum of boys like this ?

Not all of us are just the absolutely unhinged ones

zingally · 15/06/2026 15:03

Nooooooooo.

It's not your night, and this is running a huge risk of "making it all about you." Parading around in a matching dress, like you're his date? Yuck.

There will be plenty of opportunities to have some nice mother/son photos taken, but his prom night isn't it.

Jack80 · 15/06/2026 14:49

Not my idea to do but each to their own, I just took photos of my daughter and her friends.