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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

920 replies

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:39

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

OP posts:
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LaliqueSaltGrinder · 13/06/2026 15:42

So out of 701 votes to date, 98% think OP is being unreasonable. Does that not tell you something, @MissRaspberryRipples ?

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:42

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 13/06/2026 15:34

OP, most teenagers have raging hormones at 16. If he is heterosexual, it's highly unlikely that he isn't yet interested in girls. But of course, he may well choose to keep his interests private from his mother, and that's fine.

Like I'm not fussed whether or not he has a girlfriend to be quite honest I'm not that nosey and intrusive. But for the other poster to say it's telling that he doesn't because I'll fuck up his relationships is pretty ridiculous. I asked for opinions considering what my partner said and wanted to know if anyone else thought he was being unnecessarily mean about it. Clearly a few agree with him.

OP posts:
Desperatelyseekinglazysusan · 13/06/2026 15:41

Eek no! I have some nice prom photos- DS1 with his brother at the venue. I think there is one of the 2 of us but I'm in jeans as I was dropping DS2 off to an activity after. That would be ultimate cringe, and would make the event about you, but it sounds like you are going to do it anyway! Don't be surprised if he doesn't want them on display!

pilates · 13/06/2026 15:41

No, please don’t do it - totally unnecessary and a little weird.

Gladystheimpaler · 13/06/2026 15:40

Brickiscool · 13/06/2026 15:39

Round here all the parents get photos with their kids before they go off

Do they all match the kids outfits?

Wishimaywishimight · 13/06/2026 15:40

I'm imagining a Victoria Beckham style mum draped around a teenager! I really wouldn't OP, the poor kid will be mortified if his friends ever catch a glimpse of the photos.

outerspacepotato · 13/06/2026 15:40

He'll never have a long term gf the way you're going.

elliesmummy19 · 13/06/2026 15:40

No. Please don’t.

Hope that helps.

sweetdreamstenasee · 13/06/2026 15:39

Return the dress and get yourself a nice day dress that’s into too formal, maybe something that has purple details like this and do your hair and make up like you would for any usual casual event, not the full glam.

www.asos.com/other-stories/other-stories-midaxi-wrap-dress-in-abstract-ditsy-floral-print/prd/208633839?affid=30752&_Cj0KCQjw_7PRBhDcARIsAMjV7jk6EY5laMDKJCVfg-SU8D_sxAWReH2OlR7I82Qt6GemMfGkUcYD5hUaAnifEALw_wcB&channelref=product+search&ppcadref=21095812988%7C%7C&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21095812988&utm_content=&utm_term=&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21088969383&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOCxjbplB7mVF8qyj_HF-eHQh&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_7PRBhDcARIsAMjV7jk6EY5laMDKJCVfg-SU8D_sxAWReH2OlR7I82Qt6GemMfGkUcYD5hUaAnifEALw_wcB

If you get a lovely picture together you’ll look put together and it will be a lovely memory but he’ll not be mortified with him mum turning up dressed like the girls his age and it will seem a bit more coincidental than curated.

Gladystheimpaler · 13/06/2026 15:39

OP, your original question was, was your husband being mean. No, he wasn't, he was stating a sentiment shared nearly universally on this thread. Now you have your answer, what will you do?

hallenbad · 13/06/2026 15:39

The matching is seriously weird Op. By all means have photos before he goes but it reminds me of what American couples do together, coordinate outfit and buttonhole etc for the prom.

user1476613140 · 13/06/2026 15:39

UnPetitDunPetit · 13/06/2026 15:22

Was it because his mother was wearing a matching kilt and wanted a photo op?... Wink

Guilty as charged🤣🤣🤣

Brickiscool · 13/06/2026 15:39

Round here all the parents get photos with their kids before they go off

Chipsahoy · 13/06/2026 15:38

My boy had prom last night. The only part we played was to purchase the suit and drop him off and pick him up.
He had one photo at home and the rest were taken by the professional photographer. This isn’t anything to do with you. Also it’s prom, not his wedding!

Brickiscool · 13/06/2026 15:37

My daughter will have a photo with me and her dad before prom. That's fine. But matching OMG no!

3luckystars · 13/06/2026 15:37

Im trying to picture it, is it like either of these?

would you be brave enough to link a photo? I can’t stop laughing at the replies.

AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?
AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?
Laura95167 · 13/06/2026 15:37

Imo that sounds awful 16 year old boys dont want mother son photos. He wants them with a GF or BF or group of friends.

His friends parents wont be doing this. I think its making his prom about you showing off your boy. So I voted YABU

CosyDenimShark · 13/06/2026 15:36

Really sorry but my son (who has prom next week), would disown me if I did this!

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:35

Tableforjoan · 13/06/2026 15:31

Sorry but it just screams that mummy is over involved in him dressing up like she is his prom date.

Giving major future mil from hell vibes.

also just seen it looks like he is the youngest is there a bit maybe a smidge of scared to let the last baby my baby boy go.

He isn't the youngest at all he has two younger siblings also

OP posts:
x2boys · 13/06/2026 15:34

TedMosbysWife · 13/06/2026 14:46

Why are mum of boys like this ?

Most arnt HTH.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 13/06/2026 15:34

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:28

Jesus he's 16 not 21. Why is it seen as unusual for a 16year old lad to not yet be bothered about having a girlfriend? It doesn't mean anything if he doesn't or do you really think that every single teenager defines themselves with a relationship status? I mean that's quite shallow to think that your kids simply must have a partner at 16 and if they don't it simply HAS to be because their parent will fuck it up. I have two adult daughters who have partners and live independently it's not like I lock them up and force them to only love mummy Jesus Christ your comment is ridiculous

OP, most teenagers have raging hormones at 16. If he is heterosexual, it's highly unlikely that he isn't yet interested in girls. But of course, he may well choose to keep his interests private from his mother, and that's fine.

Pistachiocake · 13/06/2026 15:33

It's no more unreasonable than women who dress their daughters like them, so I'm not going with any sexist boymum rants. But no better either.

TeaPot496 · 13/06/2026 15:32

Fucking prom. I'm sick of it, has turned into some American ridiculous charade. It's a sit down meal and an awkward disco.

Tableforjoan · 13/06/2026 15:31

Sorry but it just screams that mummy is over involved in him dressing up like she is his prom date.

Giving major future mil from hell vibes.

also just seen it looks like he is the youngest is there a bit maybe a smidge of scared to let the last baby my baby boy go.

runningonberocca · 13/06/2026 15:31

Beyond creepy. And mortifying for your son. If I was him and you did this there is no way I’d go to my prom.

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