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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

920 replies

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:39

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

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MandyMotherOfBrian · 13/06/2026 15:55

WyrdHag · 13/06/2026 14:47

Is your name Victoria?!

Similar, but I was going to ask if their surname was Bates.
You’re nicer than me though.

RaraRachael · 13/06/2026 15:55

My son refused to go to his primary school prom as he declared it a load of rubbish (as did I).

They had a high school leavers' dance and most of the boys wore kilts. I don't remember taking photos of any of it as they probably all met up at somebody's house and left from there.

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:54

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Why what's wrong with a purple dress honestly? May not be everyone's favourite colour

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BeKhakiReader · 13/06/2026 15:54

Does anyone remember that tv show ‘Say Yes to the Dress’? There was an episode where the bride’s mother started to try on wedding dresses. This post made me think of it.

Don't do it OP. It’s not your night.

Miranda65 · 13/06/2026 15:53

Surely any self-respecting 16 year old would just be mortified and embarrassed at this? OP, your son will utterly loathe you if you go ahead with this matching nonsense!
And it's just a teenage party, after all, not "his big night".

user1476613140 · 13/06/2026 15:52

AImportantMermaid · 13/06/2026 15:23

Not sure how this relates to the OP’s question but I hope he had a good time.

You're right, it's utterly irrelevant to the OP. I should have read properly before posting 🫡🤦‍♀️

WhereverIlaymycatthatsmyhome · 13/06/2026 15:51

It’s pretty tragic to be honest.

Thisagainreally · 13/06/2026 15:50

I always try and be kind replying to OP posts, so while it’s a lovely idea to get a photo or two with your son before prom, matching outfits or even dressing up will take the focus off him when it’s his night and not yours. You’ll have anyone who sees it thinking the same things people are saying on here.

it’s my eldest prom soon too and it hadn’t crossed my mind to have a photo together but now I think maybe I will to remember the moment. I’ll be in my normal clothes, maybe sucking my belly in a bit so I look ok 😬 but that’ll be as far as it goes!

OhBettyCalmDown · 13/06/2026 15:50

It’s definitely more than ‘a few’ that disagree. Can’t you let him enjoy something without making yourself part of it too? I think that’s really telling.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 15:50

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3luckystars · 13/06/2026 15:49

Maybe you could get some purple nails if you want to give a nod to his suit ? Are you ok though? Why would you dress up if you are not going. Is there a backstory here I wonder?

Definitely do not wear coordinated clothes in your son’s prom. It might embarrass him.

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:49

3luckystars · 13/06/2026 15:37

Im trying to picture it, is it like either of these?

would you be brave enough to link a photo? I can’t stop laughing at the replies.

Definitely not it's just a nice purple dress that doesn't even match the purple in his suit really

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Quartzfairy · 13/06/2026 15:47

My DS would have been mortified! I was told off for smiling too much when we went saw them off at his prom 🤣

My friend (who is lovely but a show off!) dressed up for her son’s prom. It was a bit cringe and felt like she was trying to make it all about her.

Zanatdy · 13/06/2026 15:47

I don’t intend to dress up for my daughter’s. Might wear a nice top.

TrixieFatell · 13/06/2026 15:46

When my two eldest had their proms we had a photo with them before they met up with their friends but we weren't dressed up. It was their night, all the focus should be on them not on you.

I asked one of my eldest what they thought of it and they replied "cringe".

KitcheKitcheyaya · 13/06/2026 15:46

Beyond weird.

Leave the poor boy to enjoy his night.

Sassylovesbooks · 13/06/2026 15:46

My son will be due to have his school prom next year. To dress up, hadn't entered my head, let alone to buy a new outfit or a matching colour!!

Honestly, it sounds all rather over-the-top. You're his Mum, not his prospective date. By all means, have your picture taken with your son (I think a lot of parents do this). Save buying a new outfit/shoes etc, until his wedding day (assuming he wants marriage in the future), when you'll be mother-of-the-groom.

AuntyBulgaria · 13/06/2026 15:45

Dressing up for what though I don't get it. Just for a photo before he heads out the door. Then what do you do - get changed back to normal.

Very very weird!

NiceCupOfChai · 13/06/2026 15:45

I’m interested to know whether you’ve changed your mind OP on the basis of the almost unanimous YABU?

Brightbluesomething · 13/06/2026 15:44

There’s absolutely no way I’d make my DS’s prom all about me. When he had his I was his taxi driver and took photos. Parents dropped off, chatted to each other outside then left them to it. Don’t do this. Rocking up in a matching outfit will make him a laughing stock. No teenager needs that.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 13/06/2026 15:44

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:42

Like I'm not fussed whether or not he has a girlfriend to be quite honest I'm not that nosey and intrusive. But for the other poster to say it's telling that he doesn't because I'll fuck up his relationships is pretty ridiculous. I asked for opinions considering what my partner said and wanted to know if anyone else thought he was being unnecessarily mean about it. Clearly a few agree with him.

More than a few, OP.

Can't you see that you're overstepping here? Why the need to put yourself front and centre on your son's special night?

Tableforjoan · 13/06/2026 15:44

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:35

He isn't the youngest at all he has two younger siblings also

Well then I really don’t understand.

There’s no even well it’s the last one to go over the top parenting.

It’s just weird. I’d say the same if it was dad dressing up in a tux with matching tie for a prom photo as well.

I expect if his mates found out there found be much laughing and taking the piss about taking mummy to prom even though you are not actually attending.

Bothy · 13/06/2026 15:43

My sons both had a pre-prom meet up at friends houses. The parents went to wave them off and there were some group photos in the garden.
So I don't think a family photo is unusual but the matching outfit definitely is.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 15:43

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florenceandthemac · 13/06/2026 15:43

What does your son think?